Category: Observations

  • Always and forever

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • OEROOOOOO

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Every time I go to Olga’s…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • It me.

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Croc Martens

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Chuck Norris

    Conversation between any group of males in 1978 “Chuck Norris could beat anyone.” “No way could Chuck Norris beat Bruce Lee.” “Yeah, Bruce Lee ripped the heart from a live cow with one strike.” “And he drank blood.” “And no one to this day, knows how he died.” “Norris got him.”

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • New Scents for Yankee Candles

    If Yankee Candles actually smelled like things from the Northern US, the candle scents would change up a bit. Brown Snowdrift Hoboken Hobo Leftover Pizza in the Fridge Warm IPA Overpriced, Overly-Sweet Cocktail that Looked Good in the Menu, But Wasn’t  Women’s’ Room After a Concert Crushed Black Fly Lacrosse Coach Middle-Eastern Man’s Cologne Air…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Skunked

    Last night I was almost sprayed by a skunk. It was tiny.  Not much bigger than a baby squirrel, but the sight of its raised tail made me shriek and run away like a scared toddler. What. Me embarrassed? 

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Siri is the devil

    Was just in a client phone conference when SIRI popped up from my AppleWatch with this: SIRI: “Did you accidentally summon me?” ME: “Summon you? What are you, a demon?” SIRI: “Let’s talk about you, David. Not me.” Should I be afraid? I think I should be afraid.

    Written by

    Davezilla
    SIRI: Did you accidentally summon me?

  • Call me Treebeard

    FOUR YEAR OLD: “You know what would be so cool, Daddy?” ME: “What?” FOUR YEAR OLD: “If instead of a beard, you could grow a tree on your face.” THREE YEAR OLD: “That would not be good.” ME: “No?” THREE YEAR OLD: “It would be amazing.”

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • People we can safely dislike #26

    ,

    People who refuse to include punctuation in email or texts. The guy (it’s always a guy) who passes you on the road and then promptly slows down. That lady who refuses to admit she misdialed you… again. Men who wear Crocs with business suits. Young men who think wearing a vest with a porkpie hat…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Literary Critiques of App Update Messaging

    COMPANY: Adobe UPDATE MESSAGE: Bug fixes REVIEW: Brevity, thy name is Adobe. Such an economy of words that even punctuation was deemed unnecessary. One thrills at the prospect of knowing with certainty that bugs will be fixed, lives will be spared, and hope restored to mankind. COMPANY: Mint UPDATE MESSAGE: Bug fixes. REVIEW: The glove…

    Written by

    Davezilla
    Literary Critiques of App Update Messaging