Bigfoot will invest in your pyramid scheme

01 September, 2015Posted inBad Ideas
Love this! Each State’s Most Embarrassing Google Searches. My state of Michigan's searches were: MICHIGAN: Bigfoot evidence / pyramid scheme / Little Caesars (pizza chain) / Lou Bega—Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of) Analysis: If you can lure Bigfoot out of the woods with pizza and catchy songs you can probably convince him to invest in your pyramid scheme. Curious what type of searches I'll get after posting this.

Fantasy Movies that Should Have Been

26 February, 2015Posted inBad Ideas, Original Humor
50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey Harry Potter and the Dirty Chamberpot Percy Jackson: The Panty Thief Star Trek: The Next Penetration Hunger Games: Catching Herpes Hellboy: The Golden G-String Indiana Jones and the Temple of Eros The Lion, The Witch and the Slutty Wardrobe Invasion of the Booty Snatchers How to Tame Your “Dragon" What fantasy movies did you think up?

Holiday Gift Ideas

10 December, 2014Posted inBad Ideas, wtf
Every year I list new holiday gift ideas, which are of course, veiled attempts to get you, dear reader, to buy me stuff my wife won't buy for me. Today, the talking Red Foxx doll.
Criminal Minds profiles Jack and Jill

Criminal Minds Profiles Nursery Rhyme Characters

02 December, 2014Posted inBad Ideas2 Comments
What if the agents on Criminal Minds were to profile characters from children's nursery rhymes? I mean, hey why not? Most classic children's rhymes are gory and psychotic. Hotch: “Gentlemen, I’ll be brief. The killer goes by the name, 'Little Bunny Foo Foo'. Not much is known apart from this. We know he’s psychopathic. His anger is funneled toward the object of his rage; innocent field mice. His M.O. is to scoop them up and bop them on the head. This unsub has paranoid delusions about a “Good Fairy" visiting him, telling him to recant his ways, but his obsession…
Bored

My easily attainable 2014 New Years Resolutions

03 January, 2014Posted inBad Ideas1 Comment
I make resolutions with the bar set really low, so I can attain them. I resolve never to purchase a Perfect Polly™ this year. Or any year. I resolve not to eat my fellow travelers if we're stranded in the Arctic. Expanding on that last one, I resolve not to go anywhere I could possibly fall into a canyon (alone) and be forced to saw off my own hand. I resolve not to defect to a Communist nation. I resolve not to use my spit to hold my daughter's hair in place. I resolve not to punch a Great White…

TV Shows I’d Like to See

14 November, 2013Posted inBad Ideas1 Comment
America's Got Two and a Half Men Barefoot Contessa Hunters VH1's Top 100 Sexiest Bigfoot Videos It's Always Sunny in the First 48 Monsters Inside Me Real Ghost Hunters of Beverly Hills Property Virgins: Criminal Intent Hillbilly Confidential Agents of South Park Ancient Aliens of Atlanta How I Met Your Moonshiner Man vs. Teen Mom
Funny Bunches of Goats

Rejected Names for Cereals

06 November, 2013Posted inBad Ideas3 Comments
So this post originally appeared here in 2008, but as I have been going back through older posts, I keep finding horrible spam injections—some of which cannot be removed with out deleting the entire post. This is a shame because some of these posts had dozens of comments. This one had 72 comments, so I am reposting it. Anytime you see a new post that has the tag "repost", you'll know the original was deleted due to spam. Lice Krispies Kellogg's Porn Flakes Frosted Mini Feets Sugar Frosted Aches Ape Nuts Cap'n Chronic Brute Loops Unlucky Harms Funny Bunches of…