Category: Bad Ideas

  • Terrible Ideas for Tattoos

    I’ve seen some terrible ideas for tattoos in my time. Hell, I’ve come up with some. But the public does it better. Homer Simpson bending over so the tat owner’s navel is his asshole. The Warner Bros. Tasmanian Devil holding a beer, with the caption, this bud’s for me (alternately with a joint). And I…

  • You needed lungs of steel

    Remember this shit? I could never get a bubble bigger than 2” and it smelled like a Victorian turpentine factory. The bubbles were generally forest green with the faintest whisper of yellow. “Here, kids! It’s like lung cancer in a tube. Knock yourself out.” But don’t take my word for it. This shit was deadly.…

  • If Shakespeare was alive today…

    As You Liked It Reddit, the III MacBeth Pro A Comedy of Autocorrect Errors The Two Gentlemen of Grindr Much Ado About SnapChat Pericles, Prince of Tinder The Scary Hoes of Windsor The Taming of the Autocorrect  A Yelper’s Complaint Please add more to this list!

    William Shakespeare
  • Dank and Blight’s Elements of Style for Today’s Reader

    Chapter One Times have changed. The attention span of today’s reader is known to be slightly less than that of a Junebug. As such, the volume of text required has lessened substantially. The amount of copy required to produce a meme is, in today’s world, sufficient for a technical whitepaper. The reader is, simply put,…

    Photo of a reader's books on a table, by freestocks on Unsplash
  • It’s just pockets all the way down…

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  • I will cut a bitch

  • Gather round the Christmas Toe

  • Scout Manure

  • In Russia, you don’t ski corn, corn skis you

  • Here’s what we’ll wear

  • What could go wrong?

  • Drug Commercial BINGO

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    Drug Commercial BINGO. Play BINGO with your favorite pharmaceutical ad clichés! See my other BINGO game: Starbucks BINGO!