- Draining his pasta
- Cleaning her lint trap
- Rearranging her bookshelves
- Checking her fluid levels
- Soaking the dentures
- Uncorked her champagne
- Filing her taxes
- Grinding the beans
- Polishing the boots
- Licking her stamp collection
- Winding her clock
- Counting her rosary beads
- Sending out the invitations
- Flipping her hotcakes
- Burning his CD
- Waxing her hood
- Blowing out the candle
- Carving the pumpkin
- Booking her tickets
- Refinish her end table
More things that sound dirty, but aren’t
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40 responses to “More things that sound dirty, but aren’t”
Things that sound clean but aren’t:
“Splitting the melon”, an asian (I think Chinese) euphemism for the ‘opening’ of the vagina for sex (or even for penetration.)
Think about that the next time you split open a melon and start to clean it, you nasty little sex pig, you! 😳
“Clean her uvula*”
Argh, I’m tired. I have nothing.
(*Not to be confused with the vulva, of course!)
My wife likes to polish the hood.
ooooh, spud, talk dirty to me :wang:
Tenderizing the meat.
Tooting the horn.
Trimming the wick.
Shampooing the carpet.
😛
My wife also mows the lawn
Strapping on her seatbelt :thong:
Peeling his banana (ok too obvious) :wang:
I like polishing the hood too, Spud. I think all women do :grin::lol:
Draining his pasta? Tenuous.
Parking in the rear.
Fresh squeezed lemons.
Beach thongs.
For those familiar with the menu at IHOP: “Moons over my hammy”
Always be careful with your hardrive, you don’t want to start out with a floppy disc.:limp: tinamarie sounds fun
He checked under the hood.
Her carpet matches the drapes.
He gave her a chili dog. :dead:
She likes her sandwhich with extra mayo.
Waxing her Volvo
Licking it dry
Kissing his balls for good luck
Splitting hairs
Eradicating his spam
Arrrr, shiver me timbers right up ‘er port-hole ’cause I’m ready to come about.
Friggin’ in the riggin’, anyone?
I swear I read it as “winding her cock.” 😳
How come no one thought of “screwing the bolts”? 😀
Also: “Kneading the dough balls.”
One more!
“I have a zoo. I feed the beavers daily.”
Nikki and Dave, you have created a monster. 😈
blowing the horn.
wetting the reed.
vamp! (to do it over and over again)
“Buttering his muffin”
My husband’s favorite,
Poker in the front and liquor in the rear.
Paula
Ok. . said it backwards. .it should be
Liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
:wtf:
Paula sounds fun. 😈
:java:
Weeding her azaleas
Posting his blog
Mopping her milk
Pumping his brakes
Polishing the knob
Cut her cake with my knife.
Love your peaches want to shake your tree.
eating a spicy taco,
putt the hot dog on the bun , and add a little mustard
she likes to lick the cream out of the canoli before she eats it
come sit on santas lap
She said to me she ate 3 hot dogs today she doesn’t think she can take another, and that she is stuffed full of thoose wieners she doesn’t kno wwhere she would put that 4th one i cooked up for her.
Has anyone seen my girlfriend? she said she was just going to go get some hard salami from the butcher some long Squash from the green grocer, and maybe a rocket pop from the ice cream man, She even promised to bring me back a snowball from the ice cream man, but i havent seen her in 2 days
When you kill a rooster and eat it for dinner, why isn’t it called eating cock?
Family vacation in the minivan
Little Sussy : MOMMY! Johny keeps poking me with his spoon and trying to balance his cheerios on my chin and forehead while im trying to sleep,
Mom : dont worry Sussy, he’s just like his father, he’ll be done in a minute and be sound asleep
:wang::???::limp::thong::undies::boxers::wtf::sad::mad::eek::???::wang::roll::razz::oops::kiss::java::idea::grin::geek::evil::dead::cool::smile::boobs::twisted::neutral::mrgreen::-(:-?:!::wtf:
Blowing his Horn?
Lubing the Tuba?
Plucking the G-String?
Tooting the Flute?
Playing the Organ?
Beating her Bongos?
Orchestrating a Movement?
Sounds like music to my ears!
I don’t like ketchup on my hot dog
Tuning his instrument.
Boning her fish.
:boobs::boobs:
Peeling chiles
Applying her lip gloss
Eat at the “Y”
Stirring her brownies
Pushing in her stool
and of course, the ever popular,
“Stick your penis in her butt and move it around a bit.”
Riding the bolonie pony
eating tube steak smothered in underwear
It really creams my Twinkie
When we visit Felicia