Ten ways to make a sushi chef lose it

1. rust

   11 August, 2005, 2:18 am

   Did he?

   Damn, I hate having to pick off that black rubbery stuff that goes around the outside. What is that? Fish bellies?

2. JFLY

   11 August, 2005, 3:08 am

   Rust…It’s the slimey underbelly of some unknown inedible sea creature that the Japanese have secretly been farming and making trillions of dollars off of…LOL

   Seaweed…mmm..mmm…good :dead:

3. Keith Burgin

   11 August, 2005, 4:58 am

   Throw your credit cards on the grill and start talking about your home loan.

4. Spud

   11 August, 2005, 5:07 am

   Are you allowed to fart in a sushi joint?

5. The Bishop

   11 August, 2005, 7:09 am

   Arrange the maki rolls behind your menu and have your partner do the same. Wait till things get real quiet then yell, “B-9? You sank my battleship!” 😈

6. Cherish

   11 August, 2005, 9:00 am

   Ask for a Fork.

7. Cheap Date

   11 August, 2005, 9:11 am

   Yell that you HAVE FOUND NEMO!

   Start doing the JAWS theme!

   Tell the Chef that you LOVED HIM IN THE KARATE KID!

   😛

8. Esther

   11 August, 2005, 10:37 am

   Mmmmm. Now I want sushi for breakfast. Yum!:cool:

9. MIKE

   11 August, 2005, 11:05 am

   MMM Tastes Like Chicken

10. larfus

    11 August, 2005, 11:14 am

    Ask him to cook while doing the wax on wax off movements or place your order by moving your mouth as if you were talking but with no sound then close your mouth and say it. sorta like the old ultraman shows.

11. Jim Amos

    11 August, 2005, 12:45 pm

    But gravy on fries is one of England’s finest delicacies!

12. tj

    11 August, 2005, 12:51 pm

    ask for a “to-go bag” because your cat is hungry.

13. Natalie

    11 August, 2005, 2:15 pm

    Bring your cat to the restaurant. Insist that he place the order.

14. rust

    11 August, 2005, 4:57 pm

    I prefer my sushi with a little less WHISKAS® and a touch more Brewers Yeast, thank you.

    😈

15. jindun

    11 August, 2005, 7:01 pm

    pretend to catch flies w/ your chopsticks and then eat them

16. tinamarie

    11 August, 2005, 7:07 pm

    No, no, no! Leave the poor sushi chef alone. If you want to freak out someone, freak out those newbie morons who come to sushi restaurants but freak out at the sight of raw fish.

    Follow these directions closely, as they work exceptionally well.

    1. Make sure you are sitting in close proximity to a newbie, or bring one with you.

    2. Order AMA EBI (Sweet Shrimp.) Ask the chef if they give you the cooked heads, and if not, skip the order, because you need the heads to do this right.

    3. First, eat the AMA EBI when it comes. Warning: the shrimp will be raw, but it still tastes pretty damn good. This alone may be enough to gross out any newbie you have brought with you.

    4. Once they finally, and I do mean finally (it takes a while to cook shrimp heads) deliver the shrimp heads, find the one that is the most intact. Usually, the shrimp heads will have a few of the legs and both feelers still attached. At this point, you should exclaim “Oooooooh! Shrimp heads!” to attract attention.

    5. Put the head in your mouth while leaving the legs and feelers dangling outside your lips.

    6. Chew slowly. Very slowly. As you chew, the legs and feelers will wiggle around, waving back and forth with every chewing motion. For all the world, it will look like the shrimp is alive in your mouth and trying desperately to get out.

    The last time I did this, one newbie off to my right nearly lost her lunch, and the sushi chef got quite a giggle. 😀

17. tinamarie

    11 August, 2005, 7:11 pm

    p.s. If you just want to be crass and gross people out, order sashimi or raw fish sushi, and when you eat it loudly exclaim “Damn! This tastes just like my girlfriend!”

    Then turn to someone at your table and offer them a bite, saying “Here–try this!” When they try it, say “Does’t that taste just like (insert name)?” Pass the raw fish around. Get a few opinions. Why not? Lots of folks have tasted your girlfriend, right???:oops:

18. JFLY

    11 August, 2005, 11:28 pm

    Tinamarie…too funny!!!

    But I think a woman ordering “blowfish” would be hysterical…

19. Dante

    12 August, 2005, 1:43 am

    “Hey, Fukumoto! Get over here and cook this shit!”

    I actually do know a girl whose surname is Fukumoto.

20. Sean Peters

    12 August, 2005, 12:20 pm

    Forget the Godzilla rolls… are the Davezilla rolls really made out of Davezilla?
    :dead:

21. larfus

    12 August, 2005, 8:06 pm

    and to think I thought I seen it all when I took this picture http://ontr.textamerica.com/?r=2042969. wow thats alot of I’s

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