- Reward their singing by pouring delicious, hot soup in their chilly hands.
- Offer to accompany them on the electric sitar and mouth harp.
- Fill snowballs with yogurt and fire away.
- Follow in the footsteps of our ancestors by pouring boiling oil out the window on them.
- Join along in the singing, allowing your Tourette Syndrome to spice things up.
- Ask them to sing the Coventry Carol in the original Middle English.
- Should they fulfill this say, “OK fine, but can you sing that while eating a cracker?”
- Give them leftover Halloween candy and tell them that their costumes aren’t very original.
- Correct their pitch.
- Rent a polar bear to patrol the yard. Alert the bear to their presence.
- Offer to sell them Amway products.
- Request some Sammy Hagar.
- Answer the door in fetish gear with your significant other on a leash.
- Give them cookies laced with illicit drugs.
- Begin breakdancing.
- Start moaning and tell them that caroling makes you so hot.
- Play the Jeopardy theme song every time they begin to sing.
- Ask them to sing the dreidel song.
- Yell, “Hail, Satan!†at the close of each song.
- Wait patiently for them to finish, then tell them in sign language that you are deaf.
Guest co-author Natalie
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YES! 😀
That’s good stuff! Number 20 is just pure comedy gold, love it.:twisted:
Should I show off my my recent obtain beer-gut, by wearing nothing more than a boxer with my privet expose too? or is that too graphic for the yonger carolers?
I was thinking the same thing, opsirin. Make sure you scratch the nads and belch loudly. :dead:
Don’t open the door. Report the fearful noisey gathering to the local authorities.
Re: #19 – make sure you come out in your evil halloween costume when you do that.
Flash them your :boobs::boobs: and demand beads
When the finish, give them the Watchtower magazines the Jehovah Witnesses left at your house at 7:30 in the morning last Saturday. 😛
Sometimes the lax gunlaws in the US doo come in handy.
I got nothin’. ReV?
Answer the door in fetish gear with your significant other on a leash.
Flash them your :boobs::boobs: and demand beads.
Wait, that’s how I normally answer the door. Is there something weird about that?
Thank you MikeB, I will remember to bring a loudspeaker when I do that.
“Hail Satan!” at the conclusion of each song.
That is disturbingly wrong. :wtf:
when they are finished,ask them if they would stay and help decorate the holiday deer carcass
Top 20 Ways to Annoy Carolers
…
Yell, “Hail, Satan!†at the close of each song.
I already do that. 😈
You guys are all so cynical. Christmas is a time for sharing.
When carolers come to my door, I listen patiently, and then offer to sing for them.
“Feelings….WHOA OH OH Feelings!”
If that doesn’t make the little fuckers run, I start doing Ethel Merman tunes!
Tina is my new hero.
answer the door butt naked … either you’ll get some … or they’ll just leave
either way you’ll win
I kinda liked the “Hail Satan” thingy at the end of each song.
It seems somewhat appropriate.
Either that of the Deaf one which I thought was verrrrry clever.
😕