Year: 2013

  • Spirit Animal

    I think my spirit animal was taken by the Humane Society and put up for adoption.

  • Parenting: What no one told me

    So I became a father for the first time. At 49. I had pretty much given up the hope of having children, but then it happened. No, don’t congratulate me. It was easy. What wasn’t easy was sifting through the reams of advice you’re given from doctors, family, magazines, blogs, friends and complete strangers—yes the…

    dirty diapers
  • Two Shakes of a Lamb’s Tail

    How come when someone says, “I’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” it always takes about 45 minutes? Just how big is a lamb’s tail?

  • Elf on a Shelf or Whore in a Drawer?

  • Jesus died so you could have it your way

  • BITCHES DON’T KNOW…

  • Ready? Package is up… and PULL!

    Amazon claims it will use flying robot drones to deliver packages to us in the near future. Sorry, USPS. You’ve been replaced. Perhaps this is smart thinking on Amazon’s part as they plan for a United States that may lose its short-sighted postal service. On the other hand, duck hunters now can have twice the…

    Amazon drones to deliver packages
  • For the Time Being

    When people say, “Oh, it’s just for the time being,” I freak out. We have Time Beings that demand offerings from us? When did this start? Next thing, you’ll be telling me the government is being run by Reptile People.

  • Watch old men dance to acid house

  • My fish hate me

    Every morning, my fish stare at me, blankly. I always wonder if they are hungry or don’t like what I’m wearing.

  • This is why I am against GMO foods

  • I see what you did there