Russell? Seriously?

17 August, 2010Posted inObservations6 Comments
Like many of you, I am addicted to HBO's True Blood. Best. Show. Ever. Certainly the best vampire show. How then, did they come up with the bone-headed scheme of naming a 3,000 year-old vampire king Russell? Seriously? Russell means "red" so I can see the meaning, but seriously. A tri-millenial vampire should surely rank a spookier name than Russell. However, since they feel this name is fitting, and from the storyline, it looks pretty certain that King Russ is going to be offed soon, I have some alternate names for the replacement king: Cuthbert Bubba Joe Billy Bob VI…

Die, Robin. Die.

03 August, 2010Posted inObservations5 Comments
For three years now, I have been attempting to grow grapes. I planted two large vines in Lizz's yard back when we were just friends. Last year, we got engaged and the first three bunches of grapes showed up, only to be devoured by insects a month later. This year, we got married and 42 bunches of grapes appeared! The grapes were beautiful and had just started to turn into a beautiful purple shade when they began disappearing one by one. We have one of those wild, English garden yards that dozens of birds, butterflies and other wildlife like to…

Attention New Readers

29 July, 2010Posted inAnnouncements
If you're new to Davezilla, and tried to sign up today but couldn't, it's not you. It's me. Really. I had a spate of Russian spammers signing up all day with fake names and emails. I have no patience for the Russians. Blackhats, the lot of them. Anyway, if you are a real live legitimate person and want to sign up to comment, pop me an email and proof that you're a human (send me a pic or a link to your Facebook profile for example) so I can add you manually. Sorry. If you're a real reader from Russia…

What I Learned About Car Theft from Movies

21 July, 2010Posted inObservations12 Comments
All cars can be hotwired. The first time the wires contact, they will spark. The second contact will always start the car. You'll never steal a car with bad brakes, poor suspension, etc. Stolen cars can jump cliffs, bridges and take impossible turns. Stolen cars never have safety glass. Shooting a criminal's windshield will always kill the driver instantly, causing the vehicle to roll off a cliff into a fireball. Shooting a hero's windshield will cause the glass to spider 14" to the right or left of the driver. When your car is too narrow to fit through a thin…

Screw Tumblr. I’m back.

20 July, 2010Posted inAnnouncements, Freaks16 Comments
Thought it was more fun to post quickly to Tumblr, but it's not fun to write on Tumblr and I have been itching to write again. And take my own pictures again, instead of reposting others images. With that, I give you this d-bag who decided to park in a no parking spot in front of the local Pei Wei.

Davezilla has moved! is back

22 April, 2010Posted inAnnouncements7 Comments
Back in 1994 I started this site as a place to store cartoons and anagrams I did of celebrities. I miss doing that. I had a very small, but dedicated audience. I've gotten away from that, more to photos, links and videos. My audience is much bigger as a result. I want to go back to my roots, but not lose you, dear readers. So I have a solution. I started posting Davezilla comedy on my new Tumblr blog. You can find me there, several times a day now. Meanwhile, this site will be redesigned as an anagram site once…