20 things to do by age 40

1. slave2oshun

   10 August, 2006, 12:14 am

   1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 11 and 12 I have done.. All before I hit 40. Do I get a prize?
   I would absolutely LOVE to do #13… ALL clowns must die.. Except fatesclown63, I love her…

2. Spud

   10 August, 2006, 12:59 am

   1. Swallow a bug while bicycling – Check
   2. Swallow a bug as part of a foreign dish – Check
   3. Become embarrassed by a coworker’s singing – Oh yeah
   4. Wedgie a close friend, possibly of the opposite sex – Check
   5. Poke a badger with a spoon – um, no, interesting thought pattern though
   6. Take off your clothes in front of the wrong person – Check
   7. Go an entire day without noticing that your:
   * Shirt is inside out – Check
   * Pants have an unidentifiable stain on it – Check
   * Collar has lipstick on it – Check
   * Socks don’t match – Check
   * Face is only partially shaved – Check
   8. Instant message a complete stranger with government conspiracy theories – Not yet
   9. Let a penguin loose at work – Interestingly enough, that thought never occured to me
   10. Order fast food from a drive thru, while pretending not to speak English – Check
   11. Have an attack of Tourette’s Syndrome in a crowded movie theatre – Check
   12. Teach someone else’s toddler a few swear words – Check
   13. Beat a clown within an inch of its life – Once again, never thought of it
   14. Demand that the bug you swallowed bicycling be put on the November ballot – Meat group
   15. What will you do by age 40? – Get booked for mooning a cop

   :geek:

3. family jules

   10 August, 2006, 2:22 am

   Nice Eddie Izzard reference.

   Also, things I plan to do after 40…..

   Stop accessorizing in ways that make sense.
   Stop explaining myself. At all.
   Stop biting my tongue to be polite.
   Stop worrying about …..well……everything.
   Start traveling.
   Start a blog.
   Start shopping for a motorcycle.
   Start asking questions everyone else is too embarrassed to ask. Just blurt them out there and stand there waiting for an answer. Because I deserve one.

   So far, my 40’s have been the most fun decade of my life! I have reached the NBZ….the No Bullshit Zone, somewhere between wisdom and senility where I can spout eternal truths and dispense sage advice, and if it all goes to hell I can blame it on menopause.

4. Meagan

   10 August, 2006, 2:42 am

   1 and 12 I’ve done. Number 3, I was the one singing…
   There’s still a lot for me to do before I turn 40 and fortunately that’s not any time soon. So, I’m sure I’ll be able to get these done before then:
   – Do karoke, just for shits and giggles.
   – Go to Cedar Point and ride all the rollercoasters.
   – Go hang gliding.
   – Stay in a haunted house over night (and hope I don’t die)
   – Party with celebs in L.A.
   – Make a movie that will have everyone talking.
   – Win the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for said movie!!!
   – Date a hot, famous actor :kiss:

5. Ugly Toy

   10 August, 2006, 5:14 am

   Have a threesome with japanese twins! Or failing that at least make it to Japan…

6. Zinta

   10 August, 2006, 6:37 am

   I’m 44… it’s to late for me… boy have I got a boring life.

   I did get put in jail for smacking a cop once though… got off on resisting arrest and 18 months probation. Funny story about this.. the Cop was going to arrest me because I was having my clothes stolen out of a laundramat… by a street person. I caught the street person and was giving him a needed lesson on keeping his hands off my stuff.. when the cop walked in. When the Cop wouldn’t listen and decided to arrest both of us.. I smacked him.

7. bhamm

   10 August, 2006, 7:41 am

   Wow… I’m only 25 and I’ve done numbers:

   1,3,4,6,7,8,10,11, and 12

   #9: Do you know how hard it is to find a decent penguin these days?!
   #11: Ever play the “penis” game? When you’re with a group of friends in a crowded place, the person who yells “penis” the loudest wins. Theaters are the best place for this.
   #12: Hey, she’s my niece and I didn’t know she was standing there when I yelled “shit”. How was I supposed to know she’d say that word all day?
   #13: Clowns deserve to be beaten, but not sure if beating a clown is worth a trip to the Big House.

8. budha

   10 August, 2006, 7:55 am

   BEEN THERE DONE THAT BORING

9. david

   10 August, 2006, 8:03 am

   here’s my top 5
   1. goto a public place or work with your :wang: hanging out.
   2. break and enter into your neighbor’s house and rearrange there furniture totally while they slept.
   3. let a your three year old loose at work with a black permenant marker and scissors.
   4. wear assless chaps. 😛
   5. pet a porcupine.

   i’ve done number five with no injuries. they are rather cute. just don’t scare the crap out of one. the handler that is holding him might have problems.

10. tanderny

    10 August, 2006, 8:24 am

    Ah, an original sin!

11. girl

    10 August, 2006, 9:38 am

    12 and 13 are my favorite. I’d teach my 2 year old nephew swear words, but the little shit is smart enough that he’d probably tell my sister-in-law who taught them to him.

12. Patrick

    10 August, 2006, 9:39 am

    Done- 1,2,3,4,6,7a,7b,7d, 7e, 10-does drunkenese count?, 11-you mean by accident?, and 12-boy were her parents mad!
    16. Streak- you must go streaking at least once in your life. Nothing but sneakers, or in my case army boots. And it must be in a public area. No unknown viewers, it doesn’t count.
    Undone-5, no badgers in OK but I did grab a live owl to pull ass feather for my hat.

13. silentstorm

    10 August, 2006, 10:51 am

    I’ve done some of the others, but I really like #13. That one I plan on working on real soon and since I’m 25, I figure I should get it out the way 😛

14. franklito

    10 August, 2006, 11:07 am

    1.have a threesome
    2.join the mile high club
    3.smack the living crap out of a complete stranger for talking too loud
    4.throw a water balloon off a high rise building and hit someone with it.
    5.have protected sex with a complete stranger
    6.date a supermodel
    7.buy a really fast sports car
    8.shoot a fifty caliber machine gun at some targets on a firing range
    9.go to nascar school
    10.take scuba diving lessons
    11.jump out of a plane(with a parachute of course)
    12.have loud passionate freaky sex in a department store
    13.egg your annoying coworkers car on halloween
    14.go to a bull fight
    15.join the marines ooh rah!!
    16.drive your car 60 miles per hour over the speed limit at least once
    17.splurge and spend an enormous amount of money on yourself
    18.splurge and spend an enourmous amount of money on your wife
    19.go to atlantic city and try your luck and play poker at the high stakes table.
    20. prepare for retirement

15. fake davezilla

    10 August, 2006, 11:22 am

    i hereby order you all to get working on #13. there are two many clowns out there.

16. POISON GIRL

    10 August, 2006, 1:21 pm

    Swallow a bug while bicycling:yes
    Swallow a bug as part of a foreign dish : no
    Become embarrassed by a coworker’s singing :Yes
    Wedgie a close friend, possibly of the opposite sex :of course
    Poke a badger with a spoon: Not yet
    Take off your clothes in front of the wrong person : No
    Go an entire day without noticing that your:
    Shirt is inside out : do your pants count???
    Pants have an unidentifiable stain on it: EWWW
    Collar has lipstick on it: NO
    Socks don’t match :YEs
    Face is only partially shaved :UHHH No
    Instant message a complete stranger with government conspiracy theories: No
    Let a penguin loose at work: On my to do list
    Order fast food from a drive thru, while pretending not to speak English: no
    Have an attack of Tourette’s Syndrome in a crowded movie theatre: Yes
    Teach someone else’s toddler a few swear words: Working on my 10 month old niece
    Beat a clown within an inch of its life soon :very soon
    Demand that the bug you swallowed bicycling be put on the November ballot :NO
    What will you do by age 40?

17. Myra

    10 August, 2006, 3:24 pm

    “So far, my 40’s have been the most fun decade of my life! I have reached the NBZ….the No Bullshit Zone, somewhere between wisdom and senility where I can spout eternal truths and dispense sage advice, and if it all goes to hell I can blame it on menopause.” – Totally agree, I am 48 and I have done 1, 3, 6, 7, 10 and 12 and would love to do #13. Of course, I would love to the new Superman, Brandon Routh too, that man is totally hot!

18. MrDoug

    10 August, 2006, 5:03 pm

    Get a blow job from a hooker in Vegas
    buy a motorcycle in spite of protest from the wife
    put a $1,000 on a long shot in the third race
    drink till I blackout…keep puking first not as much fun
    shoot to kill
    Smoke some crack
    Meet the white underwaer wearing Davezilla in person

19. Nikki

    10 August, 2006, 5:24 pm

    Kick the kids out of the house.

20. Mandy

    10 August, 2006, 5:52 pm

    [Comment ID #73045 will be quoted here]

    What a class act, you are. :puke:

21. mikeB

    10 August, 2006, 7:34 pm

    Since you’re past 40 Zilla, we assume you’ve done all of these? :wtf:

22. Nunu

    10 August, 2006, 7:49 pm

    Does it count if you swallowed a bug for extra credit in an anthropology class? 😛

23. crystal

    10 August, 2006, 8:17 pm

    Well shit… I just realized that by growing up in Middleton, Idaho, that I have accomplised more on that list then others twice my age. The sad relaization that you have partook in many redneck games is disturbing. As for the badger… How about a Drunk ex father in law having you pull the car over in the middle of nowhere after a day of uneventful fishing and lots of jack daniels… only to have him grab a huge ass rock and smash a badger in the head with it 10 feet from where you are standing with your mouth hanging open. To make matters worse, you have to rush him 3 minutes later to the nearest hospital… 45 minutes away cause a second badger snuck up behind him and you were to astonished to scream any warning.. only to have the badger bite his left testical completly off and then proceed to kick his ass some more. After having to shoot the badger and throw it in the car and drive him to the ER… we later found that the badger had swallowed the testical whole, and my ex father in law had it fermented as a keepsake of the day he decided to be an imbred asswipe. :limp: 😳

24. Drusky

    10 August, 2006, 8:50 pm

    Shouldn’t ‘Beat a clown with in an inch of it’s life’ be on the list of things to do before the end of the day?

    Does teaching a friend’s parrot to say “Green Bay Sucks” while parrot-sitting for a month count? (Yes, he is a Cheese Head…) 😆

25. silentstorm

    10 August, 2006, 9:57 pm

    Crystal,
    your story took all the fun out of #5, but I found it hiliarious anyway! 😆

26. Spud

    10 August, 2006, 9:59 pm

    Crystal’s ex father in law must win this weeks Darwin award.

    :wtf:

27. Timm

    11 August, 2006, 3:01 am

    Quick Question: Could “smacking a (wild) groundhog with your fingers” be substituted for number 5?

28. Meagan

    11 August, 2006, 3:36 am

    Ya know, I’ve always wanted to swing a squirrel by its tail around my head and then just fling it into the air and see what happens. ‘Cause I hate squirrels more than I hate badgers. 😈

29. Irish

    11 August, 2006, 8:20 am

    [Comment ID #73064 will be quoted here]

    :wtf:

30. david

    12 August, 2006, 8:43 am

    [Comment ID #73083 will be quoted here]

    omg you poor woman :dead: :puke:

31. Penguin Pete

    12 August, 2006, 5:58 pm

    >> Let a penguin loose at work

    But I *am* the penguin loose at work!

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