Valentines Day cards I’d like to see ♥

1. Spud

   14 February, 2006, 1:37 am

   1. Our love will never become cold and hollow,
   Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

   2. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk,
   But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

   3. You’re a woman of style, you’re a woman of class,
   Especially when I’m spanking, your big-fat ass.

   4. Valentine’s Day is devoted to love.
   Why don’t we have a day devoted to hatred?

   unashamedly plagarised

   :geek:

2. Shannon

   14 February, 2006, 5:15 am

   The roses are fake
   The violets are glass
   If you screw her again
   I’ll kick your ass. 😛

3. mitch

   14 February, 2006, 6:30 am

   I’m a very open man, my love…
   Willing to let you try anything…..
   But if you fuck a Republican….
   I’ll hunt you down like Dick Cheney on crystal meth….

   Happy Valentine’s Day

4. MandyLocke

   14 February, 2006, 7:22 am

   Happy Valentine’s Day
   Now take one for the team :limp:

5. Becky

   14 February, 2006, 7:30 am

   Yikes somebody hates Valentine’s Day! :dead:

6. Russell

   14 February, 2006, 8:17 am

   no hunny i did not buy this diamond necklass at Kmart. it is real i swear….. NO DON”T YOU EAVEN BRING OUT THAT BLACK LIGHT :undies: 😈 :wang:

7. bhamm

   14 February, 2006, 8:21 am

   Happy Valen….. screw it, I’m gettin’ a beer.

   This Valentine’s card is special-made
   To guarentee I’m gettin’ laid.

   You are the inspiration that drives my soul
   You are the wings that carry my heart
   You are the love that fills me so completely
   You are the essence of all I need
   P.S.> I’m sleeping with your sister.

   I could not love you more if I tried.
   Of course a three-some might help.

8. Nikki

   14 February, 2006, 8:36 am

   Roses are deadly
   Violets, a trap
   If you screw that idiot
   He’ll give you the clap. :kiss:

9. Night Queen

   14 February, 2006, 9:43 am

   Happy Valentines’ Day —- Now, Karma Sutra the position! 😛 :wang:

10. Jeffro

    14 February, 2006, 10:41 am

    You are my wife
    Of many many years
    you talk all the time
    Thats why I drink beers

11. Patrick

    14 February, 2006, 10:45 am

    THESE ARE MY PEOPLE! YOU’RE ALL TWISTED AND DEMENTED! By the way I like that in a person.

    “I’ll buy you red wine.
    I’ll give you some grass.
    Get in the position,
    and give me that ass”!

    “I brought you some chocolates
    and gave you some flowers.
    I took the Levitra,
    Let’s fuck for hours”!

    Violets are blue
    and roses are red.
    I gave you a damned card
    now give me some head”.

12. Tommyboy

    14 February, 2006, 12:00 pm

    😈
    He picked her up for a fuck
    but he had was a buck
    She said “I can’t do it!”
    He decided to screw it
    so he kicked her outta his truck
    👿

13. Esther

    14 February, 2006, 12:10 pm

    Forget the chocolates
    I don’t want a flower
    Take off all those pesky clothes
    And let’s do it in the shower. 😈

14. franklito

    14 February, 2006, 12:14 pm

    Valentines day is a joyeous occasion
    so let me bust this nut to releive all this frustration

15. Jeffro

    14 February, 2006, 12:32 pm

    Roses are red
    And kinda thorny
    Lets get nekkid
    ‘Cause me so horny

16. Bubbles

    14 February, 2006, 12:34 pm

    Our first Valentine’s Day as newlyweds;
    I’m getting roses, you’re getting head

17. starbugmama

    14 February, 2006, 12:39 pm

    :boob: :wang: :boob:

18. starbugmama

    14 February, 2006, 12:39 pm

    😈

19. Becky

    14 February, 2006, 12:55 pm

    🙄

20. Ron

    14 February, 2006, 1:42 pm

    Honey, I hope you like the pearl necklace I’m going to give you :wang:

21. Paige

    14 February, 2006, 2:08 pm

    To my ex- Happy Valentines Day!! You suck!!!!!!!! I hope that your day is terrible and that you are thinking of me while my real man of a boyfriend is eating chocolate covered cherries off of my belly!!!! :boob: :boob: :wang:

22. kate

    14 February, 2006, 2:46 pm

    [Comment ID #23083 will be quoted here]

    thats hatefull but inspiring here is my take

    “roses are red
    you never take out the trash
    so hears to you
    i gunna kick you ass!!!!”

    comments on my nastynes are welcome 😆 :wtf: :undies:

23. MandyLocke

    14 February, 2006, 2:57 pm

    comments on my nastynes are welcome 😆 :wtf: :undies:

    What about comments on your :undies:?

24. Steppenwolf

    14 February, 2006, 3:26 pm

    On this special day
    To my sweetheart so sublime
    I’ll try to find a way
    To express my love in rhyme.

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I need some head
    Cause my balls are too.

    Your virginity was a turn on
    In the beginning, that’s true
    But if you don’t give it up soon
    Your sister will do.

    :wang: 🙄

25. franklito

    14 February, 2006, 3:42 pm

    [Comment ID #23077 will be quoted here]

    bubbles can i trade with your husband for today.

26. franklito

    14 February, 2006, 3:45 pm

    roses are red
    violets are blue
    im a rip off your clothes
    and fu k the shit out of you

27. Jilly

    14 February, 2006, 4:37 pm

    Valentines day is special it’s true
    and as much as I love being under you
    at times I get so excited I feel I might pop
    so tonight you’re my bitch and I get to be on top

28. Ron

    14 February, 2006, 5:25 pm

    Roses are red, violets are blue, just keep suckin’ baby, cause I’m about to spew :wang: 😈

29. Pappy

    14 February, 2006, 6:15 pm

    :undies: are pink,
    And covered in lace,
    He just wants them off,
    Replaced by his face. 🙄

30. dougieace

    14 February, 2006, 6:28 pm

    our love has been so great
    through the good times,and the rocky,
    it’s valentines day how about bukaki :kiss:

31. Alex

    14 February, 2006, 9:51 pm

    I ain’t getting any tonight. I have a raging bout of the runs! :puke:

32. Wendyfb

    15 February, 2006, 12:48 am

    Alex, take a full dose of Imodium, a shower and start all over!…… :} GOOD LUCK!

33. Wendyfb

    15 February, 2006, 12:49 am

    YOu all are all way too creative for me today… had jury duty! Happy Valentines day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8)

34. Moate Boy

    15 February, 2006, 1:05 am

    Panties are nice,
    Bras are too,
    But all I want now,
    Is to take them from you.

    Flowers will die,
    Chocolate digests,
    So how about I,
    Just give you sex.

    My last Valentine,
    Was just a big liar,
    Now my damn cock,
    Feels like it’s on fire!

    Sex is like a box of chocolates, most of it sucks but some is to die for.

    Love is just a word invented by card companies to help out the condom industry.

    If I could have you,
    For my Valentine,
    Then I could prove,
    That love isn’t blind.

    Some like it hot,
    Some like it cold,
    Baby I bought,
    You a ring made of gold!

    I realize you know,
    That life is too short,
    So lets throw our clothes,
    All over the floor.

    Turn on the music,
    Turn off the lights,
    You know the rest,
    Here’s to tonight!!

35. Master Solace

    15 February, 2006, 1:35 am

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Your friend looks very lonely,
    Can we invite her, too?

    Lawyers are liers,
    Politicians are too.
    If you don’t fuck me,
    I’ll have Cheney shoot you.

    And I must do this one…a presidential Valentine, circa the “Wild Willy” Bill Years(aka the BJ Clinton Era)…

    Violets are blue,
    My balls are too.
    I have big round room with a view.
    Please help me, I promise I won’t spew……..
    WILL YOU BE MY INTERN!!!!!

    And this one as well…a presidential Valentine, circa the Buhs Years…

    I sure I will keep it,
    This promise to you.
    We couldn’t find Osama,
    So Saddam’s gotta do…….
    Happy Valentines Day, Dad….
    (P.S. Ha ha, I got him, and you didn’t!!)

    Couldn’t help myself…no, really I couldn’t 😛

36. goth princess

    16 February, 2006, 3:05 pm

    i fuckin hate valentines day so i got nuthin to say!!! FUCK YOU, valentines day SUX 😡

37. Cherish

    17 February, 2006, 6:12 pm

    I work at Hallmark Cards… the last thing I want to see when I go home is a greeting card…

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