A fun time of chocolate eggs, fluffy chicks and happy smiley bunny rabbits.
Unless of course you live in Canada that is!
In Canada children are forced to run screaming from the infamous “Easter Werepig Monster†whilst being pelted relentlessly with chocolate eggs, encased in a hard plastic shell!
Those that survive this ordeal are allowed to keep their egg, but it doesn’t end there….Oh No.
Then, the poor bruised, battered children are systematically challenged by the “Easter Fatsoâ€!
The “Easter Fatso†traditionally wears an American flag in order to symbolize Canada’s struggle against Americanism.
The children have to survive four, three minute rounds in a pit of freezing mud, whilst wrestling the Fatso in order to keep hold of the egg.
The Fatso has an obvious advantage weighing in at around 600 pounds and due to her mass has the ability to stay in the mud without sustaining frostbite.
Should the child actually manage to win, they must then take the egg to the “Easter Zombie Woman†who will open the egg and give the child the soft chocolate inside, but has she poisoned this one?
Hang on and I’ll explain why I said that.
It’s the “Easter Zombies†job to poison one in three of the eggs she opens to cull the population for the Canadian government, as to her the eggs represent the child’s soul. Using this method only the strong will die which allows the weak to flourish, drink Labatts and watch hockey.
Did I mention that whilst all this is going on that the “proud†parents actually film this sick ordeal to watch later, at home.
Thanks for getting the photo evidence we needed Agent Davezilla.
Your country salutes you!
These Canadians MUST be stopped.
P.S Feel free to eliminate the Brahan woman, Agent, we don’t want this getting out. 👿
I didn’t realize that Easter is now celebrated in June. However, that still doesn’t explain Peter CottonPig.
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Hobbit
I on’y have one word to describe that.
GAAAAAAAAAAHCHSDFJSDFOMGWTFLOLROTFLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
It’s my favourite word and I use it wuite often actually.
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Cheap Date
First, what the hell does the child in the middle have SO MANY EGGS?!?!?!
Second, WHY is the easter pig touching the smallest child…does he have Ronald McDonald syndrome?
Third, what the hell is that tall kid smiling about??
I think the person in the flag sweatshirt is saying, “Frank. Frank. FRANK!! Watch the kids, you lazy bum, I’m going to get another sausage!!!”
Comments
22 responses to “There’s so many things wrong here”
“Hey kids! This way to the Easter ……. uh …… alien pig.”
😯 Is that a member of Slipknot?
Oh, it’s a rabbit, I thought it was a pig.
I am very, very frightened.
“A Canadian school photo taken yesterday.”
👿
@Spud: rabbit … pig … who cares! She shouldn’t wear that awful sweater with the American flag.
I knew I shouldn’t have come here before bedtime.
/nightmares to ensue…
Now THIS is what my Hell will be like.
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Oh Canada! The land of Easter Fun!
Easter.
A fun time of chocolate eggs, fluffy chicks and happy smiley bunny rabbits.
Unless of course you live in Canada that is!
In Canada children are forced to run screaming from the infamous “Easter Werepig Monster†whilst being pelted relentlessly with chocolate eggs, encased in a hard plastic shell!
Those that survive this ordeal are allowed to keep their egg, but it doesn’t end there….Oh No.
Then, the poor bruised, battered children are systematically challenged by the “Easter Fatsoâ€!
The “Easter Fatso†traditionally wears an American flag in order to symbolize Canada’s struggle against Americanism.
The children have to survive four, three minute rounds in a pit of freezing mud, whilst wrestling the Fatso in order to keep hold of the egg.
The Fatso has an obvious advantage weighing in at around 600 pounds and due to her mass has the ability to stay in the mud without sustaining frostbite.
Should the child actually manage to win, they must then take the egg to the “Easter Zombie Woman†who will open the egg and give the child the soft chocolate inside, but has she poisoned this one?
Hang on and I’ll explain why I said that.
It’s the “Easter Zombies†job to poison one in three of the eggs she opens to cull the population for the Canadian government, as to her the eggs represent the child’s soul. Using this method only the strong will die which allows the weak to flourish, drink Labatts and watch hockey.
Did I mention that whilst all this is going on that the “proud†parents actually film this sick ordeal to watch later, at home.
Thanks for getting the photo evidence we needed Agent Davezilla.
Your country salutes you!
These Canadians MUST be stopped.
P.S Feel free to eliminate the Brahan woman, Agent, we don’t want this getting out. 👿
What’s the definition of a Canadian?
– A disarmed American with health care…
I want to be funny like mike B.
Why aren’t those children running away, screaming.
Don’t they know not to take gifts from strangers…
😉
Oh, Canada.
I didn’t realize that Easter is now celebrated in June. However, that still doesn’t explain Peter CottonPig.
I on’y have one word to describe that.
GAAAAAAAAAAHCHSDFJSDFOMGWTFLOLROTFLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
It’s my favourite word and I use it wuite often actually.
First, what the hell does the child in the middle have SO MANY EGGS?!?!?!
Second, WHY is the easter pig touching the smallest child…does he have Ronald McDonald syndrome?
Third, what the hell is that tall kid smiling about??
I think the person in the flag sweatshirt is saying, “Frank. Frank. FRANK!! Watch the kids, you lazy bum, I’m going to get another sausage!!!”
Yeh, I think she’s from Brooklyn.
What’s up with all the hate, Rev?
For instance: where the heck are the flying monkeys?
Girl(?) on the far right: “That McDonald’s gig is looking totally awesome now.”
Canadian children: Yea! Yipee! It’s the Easter pigbunny!
Large American ex-patriot on left: Okay, I’m outa here. Even New York City isn’t this whack…
This is the reason we Vancouverites smoke so much pot. We have much wierdness to escape. Remember the Live Lizard Man?
What the hell?
I now regretfully sucum to sleep knowing i will b staked by this bunny… pig… squirel? for the rest of the month.