Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist

Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist
Nude Model No. 2,The NudistSecond only in popularity to The Earth Mother, The Nudist is usually an elderly gentleman, with a silver ponytail collected from his few remaining strands of hair. His buttocks are withered as raisins and his hairy stomach hangs from him like a weaverbird nest.

The Nudist loves the outdoors and finds no greater pleasure than sunbathing on the front lawn, while waving casually to his astonished neighbors. He’s retired from his corporate job and now spends his days making wine in his basement in the nude, reading “Naturist” magazines while nude, and riding his Harley, in the nude.

Quotes:

  1. “Pretty young thing like you confined in all that clothing. It ain’t natural.”
  2. “Course, me and my ladyfriend still have sex from time to time. We did it last night on the bench you’re sitting on.”
  3. “How’s the Cabernet? You know I was nude when I made that.”
  4. “I’m just trying to get back to Eden. Fruits, nuts and nude folk. How God intended it.”
  5. “I know your aunt! We shared a hot tub up north. Nude.”

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34 responses

  1. Good Lord, that’s a nasty crack! It seems the Nudist probably suffers from the dreaded Dik-Du disease. (His belly sticks out, further than his Dik-Du) :limp: Also most likely a naturalist because of Dunlap (His gut Dunlapped over his belt)

  2. motleygirl12 Avatar
    motleygirl12

    :boxers: i dont mean to be rude but yo butt is pretty stanky :dead:

  3. Dave, I think my eggs just went into retirement after seeing this.:neutral:

  4. Anna Avatar
    Anna

    “To be nude or Not to be nude, That’s the Question”.

  5. I would have say that in this case, the answer would be an unequivocal “negatory, good buddy!”:dead:

  6. frisko Avatar
    frisko

    He looks like he is performing Shakespear…”To be or not to be…” eew

  7. Shakespeare, yes. But I think the pose is more like “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio

    On second thought the line ought to be from Lear, “Nothing can come of [wearing] nothing

  8. JFLY Avatar
    JFLY

    Crack kills, Dave…:dead:

    But the Rap Lyrics Translations were hysterical 😀

  9. Hubba hubba! That is one sexy pony tail. How about bringing your fine self on this way.

  10. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Me thinks he doth protest clotes too much.

  11. mitch smith Avatar
    mitch smith

    :boxers: Yes, as you can see even my stretch marks have stretch marks.

  12. Spud Avatar
    Spud

    Brilliant drawings dave, terrific, laughing long at this series.

    🙂

  13. Craig Avatar
    Craig

    Love the “dickey do.” ( That’s when your belly sticks out further than your dickey do):limp:

  14. I’m truly loving this series. It reminds me of some of the more “memorable” models I encountered in art school.

    I bet this guy had a bunch of faded tattoos down his thighs and back, too.

  15. misskitty Avatar
    misskitty

    You’re killin’ us dave! But thank you for not subjecting us to the front view Oh I can only imagine!:razz:

  16. OK… I am now convinced that every male nude model in the world is trained in the “one foot forward, one arm extended” pose.

    Followed by “other foot forward, two arms extended”

    Followed by…

    “one foot forward, one hand on hip”

  17. Nina Avatar
    Nina

    :dead: :dead: :dead:

  18. I see you have met my father…

  19. rust- I”m your father?! :wtf:

  20. Lula Avatar
    Lula

    :roll:If being nude is what makes you happy then hey go for it.

  21. Sean Connery has really let himself go.

  22. dougieace Avatar
    dougieace

    hey nikki thats george carlon,saw him a few weeks ago in dayton.that old man is still funny.

  23. Mandy Avatar
    Mandy

    Dave, you never told us you were a nude model! 😛

    just kidding :kiss:

  24. Christall Avatar
    Christall

    O.K. Who took the cheap shot of Willy Nelson. and by the way the neighbors cat your looking for, look no more if you look close enough you can see it stuck in the nudist’s butt crack.

  25. logan Avatar
    logan

    😕 it burs us it burs us why does master have to be so cruel:dead:

  26. logan Avatar
    logan

    wtf is up with that:eek:

  27. This is why people have sex in the dark.

  28. Mandy Avatar
    Mandy

    Sex in the dark? But you don’t get to see the :wang: and :boobs::boobs:. What’s the point? 😛

  29. Marcus Avatar
    Marcus

    :razz:Yes, a cup of tea would be quite nice. This is a beautiful print of “Nude descending a staircase” It’s what I do every morning.:wtf:

  30. father… father…!

    *son!* *wheeze*

  31. yes…Luke…search your feelings…dang, I mean rust…my bad! :geek:

  32. mYstEryGirL Avatar
    mYstEryGirL

    can you say ‘scared for life?’:-?

  33. GentleRose Avatar
    GentleRose

    ❗ i agree that definately *scar’d* me almost enough to not ever stay married long enough for my old man to get that ugly

  34. Paige Avatar
    Paige

    AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:wtf:

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