The Bruise Fairy

1. Esther

   28 March, 2005, 1:27 am

   As I type this, I currently have 2-3 small bruises on my lower left thigh. I also have a couple on my right, along with a rather large one, close to my knee. The big one can most likely be attributed to a battle with my luggage on Wednesday. The others, I wish I could blame on naked people fun. However, they showed up a couple of days ago, with me having done nothing but sleep, maybe work, eat, and watch ‘Deadwood’ and ‘X-Files’ since last Thursday.

   The Bruise Fairy is a regular around here.:evil:

2. JFLY

   28 March, 2005, 2:35 am

   And all along I’ve been blaming those bruises on my husband’s bony hips… :wang:

3. Minnie

   28 March, 2005, 2:36 am

   No bruise fairy here – thank goodness – but damn, your caricature rocks. I’d cover his scrawny crotch, though. 😉
   :boxers:

4. Spud

   28 March, 2005, 3:20 am

   As my nickname in life, not net is Bruiser I can only say…

   T’was not moi!

   Plus I’m not bony, more curvascous thanks very much.

   Clever idea though and great cartoon.

   😀

5. Lace Valentine

   28 March, 2005, 3:54 am

   The bruise fairies (or Blue Fey as they call themselves as a whole) exist in seven hierarchies, from most powerful bruising to minor scrapes, these are:

   Purplish Pucks 😕
   The Knucklim 👿
   Slap Fairies :wtf:
   The Yellowael 😡
   Funnybone Fey :wang:
   BugaBoo-Boos 😐
   The Frogger Fairies 🙁

   The best way to insure no bruising in the midst of sleep is to leave a bowl of bread pudding in your room–but it must be cooked with ambiguous love, and then cooled to room temperature and left on the sill. The Blue Fey often pull the tails of cats.

6. Kirk

   28 March, 2005, 4:56 am

   OMG….Lace Valentine ROCKS!

   Being gay, I wish the straight world would stop blaming all these destructive behaviors on fairies! 😛

7. Davezilla

   28 March, 2005, 6:34 am

   The Knucklim made me spew my OJ.

8. Mandy

   28 March, 2005, 7:27 am

   Can we please drag the ZOOM quilt over his icky little :limp:?

9. Mandy

   28 March, 2005, 7:31 am

   BTW, the Bruise Faery seems to have a liking for my right arm. Two small yellow ones. 🙁

10. Esther

    28 March, 2005, 9:24 am

    Damn, I need some of them Slap Fairies here at work!

    Does it have to be bread pudding, Lace? Will mini Butterfinger Crisps do?

11. rust

    28 March, 2005, 10:55 am

    No stories about the bruise fairy, but I have had some experiences with the Damn-My-Back-is-Scratched Sprite and the Lipstick-on-my-collar Gnome, both of which have existed in my family for years, starting with my Dad.

12. jen

    28 March, 2005, 2:11 pm

    I’m pretty once you turn 30 pimples are brought by some sort of fictional winged something good or bad. Bad methinks as everytime i manage to get a job interview I get a HUGE one in the smack middle of my chin, forehead, bridge of my nose.. BIG PIMPLE! :boobs: yeah about that big…

13. wookiee

    28 March, 2005, 2:57 pm

    I’m more frequently visited by the Scratch Fairy, which leaves red lines across my shoulders or lower back.

14. enfanta

    28 March, 2005, 7:36 pm

    I want the pinch fairy on a tee-shirt! Too cool!

15. Venessa

    28 March, 2005, 8:47 pm

    LOL…at last, you discovered the bastard!! That little shit stalks me, I want him brought up on assault charges.

16. Fran

    28 March, 2005, 9:09 pm

    lol@Lace Valentine. I actually believed that was real stuff and true because I read it on Davezilla.com. 😕

17. Anonymous

    29 March, 2005, 12:32 am

    Okay, so you’ve found the Bruise Fairy. Now who’s the bastard who keeps unbuttoning my nightgown in the middle of the night? The TittySniffler? The BoobyDrooler? The KnockerNuzzler?

    What? You say it’s my horny husband?

    You don’t say!

    Okay, well…..nevermind.

18. TinaMarie

    29 March, 2005, 12:33 am

    That last comment was not anonymous at all! I am TINAMARIE, slut queen of my cul-de-sac! Behold my smut and adore me!

    That is all.

19. julie

    29 March, 2005, 12:36 am

    The Bruise Fairy looks like Howard Jones.

20. Anna

    29 March, 2005, 4:31 am

    Here in the Nether Lands we have these shin bruises …. must be from the clogg-fairy …. when he tries to jump up and grab the :boobs::boobs:
    I suffer from “I will try to hump you any way I can”-dogs bruises.
    (I feel a need to explain. I walk with my dogs in the woods close to my house. And there are alot of friendly dogs walking around too, who love to jump up against you. NOOO, I don’t have kinky sex!! well … not THAT kinky)

21. Davezilla

    29 March, 2005, 7:00 am

    Now who’s the bastard who keeps unbuttoning my nightgown in the middle of the night?
    Sorry, that was me. 😳

22. em

    29 March, 2005, 7:56 am

    The bruise fairy is always picking on me, but this weekend he went TOO FAR and gave me an enormous cut on my arm too, that looks like I’ve tried to amputate it and failed. Why?! Where did it come from? Who knows…:undies:

23. whfropera

    29 March, 2005, 8:41 am

    :boobs:
    thats where mine is right now!! Now I know who to blame, instead of a certain someone who shall remain nameless 😆

24. bud

    30 March, 2005, 2:32 pm

    very appropriate – from the late
    Shel Silverstein-
    _Never Bite a Married Woman on the Thigh_
    http://www.banned-width.com/shel/works/thigh.html

25. Anonymous

    02 April, 2005, 2:19 pm

    :undies:

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