Rejected Childrens Book Sequels

1. jr_drums

   22 February, 2007, 1:43 am

   “Stoned Soup”
   “The Runaway, Crack Addicted, Whore of a Bunny”
   “Arthurs Trip to the Clinic: An Arthur Adventure”
   “The Giving Tree and Your Mom”
   “Where the Wild Weed Grows”
   “Charlotte’s Web of Deceit”
   “Charlie and the Fudge Packing Room”

2. Lung the Younger

   22 February, 2007, 4:20 am

   – Jack the Teen Stalker
   – Where da fuck Wally at?
   – Tom Thumb Sucker
   – The Thief of Baghdad and why Daddy voted for him.
   – Heidi – and other ways to greet a cowboy from Belfast.
   – Boyz in the Red Riding Hood
   – Peter Panhandler
   – The Secret Seven’s Deadly Sins
   – Pipi Longfishnetstocking

3. Spud

   22 February, 2007, 5:54 am

   “Harry & The Magic Mushrooms”

   “The Little Red Cherry”

   “The Crack Pipe That Could”

   “My Favourite Toys & Their Uses For Young Women”

4. Anna

   22 February, 2007, 6:12 am

   The first sexual experiences of Goldilocks and Little Red Ridinghood …. told by Xaviera Hollander.

5. Zilla the Younger

   22 February, 2007, 7:40 am

   Are you there God? it’s me, Satan

   The Hardy boys that Nancy blew

6. Shrubby

   22 February, 2007, 7:41 am

   “The Hodgepodge Book of Broken Dreams”

7. Zilla the Younger

   22 February, 2007, 7:49 am

   Lord of the Spanish flies

8. Bjorn Freeh

   22 February, 2007, 8:27 am

   “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Bone”
   “If You Give a Mouse Some Nookie”
   “The Lion, the Witch, the Wardrobe and Shared Custody”
   “Ron Jeremy’s Big Surprise Book of Pop-ups”
   “Bridge to Terrorbitchia: Mommy’s Monthly Adventure”
   “Aesop’s Fabled Tallywhacker”

9. michele

   22 February, 2007, 9:07 am

   Bin-Laden and the 40 Thieves

   The Velveteen Elvis

   Super-Fudge II: The Leather Years

   Harry Potter and the Flaming Organ

   Ramona Does Him Again

   The Berenstein Bears Go Gangsta

10. Merth

    22 February, 2007, 9:15 am

    Miss Spider’s New Flesh Eating Venom

11. Wayne

    22 February, 2007, 9:40 am

    Harry Pothead and the Sorcerer is stoned 😛

12. Meagan

    22 February, 2007, 11:05 am

    “The BFG” (The Big Fuckin’ Giant)

    “Charlie and the Nike Factory”

    “Where the Sidewalk Ends and So Does Your Life!”

    “The Cat Shat in the Hat”

    “One Fish, Two Fish and Red Fish Blew Fish”

13. Lung the Younger

    22 February, 2007, 11:37 am

    To lower the tone even more.

    – Rabbi Rumpelstiltskin?
    – Charlotte Devours Her Mate.
    – Chicken Little of Lockerbie.
    – Chitty Chitty Bang Bang II, Landmines in Vulgaria.
    – Green Ham and Fly eggs: Why Sam I Am should Clean his Refrigerator More Often.

14. Sher

    22 February, 2007, 11:49 am

    “Guess How Much I Hate You”

    “Wibbly the Pig Makes a B.L.T.”

    “The Little Train That Did’nt Give A Shit”

    “Peppi the Puppy Crosses the Border”

    “The Big Book of Just Leave Me Alone”

    “I Hate to Cook, Clean, Shop….” Fill in the blank on this one.

15. Bjorn Freeh

    22 February, 2007, 12:31 pm

    [Comment ID #95947 will be quoted here]

    We can go lower still, Lung. How about “Rumpledforeskin”?

    I envision Peter Falk in the title role on the PBS live-action adaptation…

16. Terrie

    22 February, 2007, 12:32 pm

    Stolen from some list I saw a while back…but it made me laugh..

    The Child’s Guide to Attention Deficit Dis…..hey let’s go ride bikes.

17. Keith

    22 February, 2007, 12:43 pm

    “Uncle Wiggly Registers as a Level Three”

18. evilmister

    22 February, 2007, 1:11 pm

    Bob the Builder Builds a Crackhouse
    Thomas the Engine Imports Slave Labor
    Charlottes Web of Lies
    Curious George goes to an Animal Tesing Lab
    Babar Gets Poached
    Allison Wonderland, an Expose into the Sex Life of Freaky-Deaky Otherworldly People
    Gulliver Contracts NAsty STDS Abroad

19. MRDOUG

    22 February, 2007, 2:09 pm

    Bambi and other deer daddy shot
    Little Red’s clitoral hood
    Horton Hump’s a Ho
    Arthur and the methadone clinic
    C is for Crack a child’s first letter book
    Crack Ho’s – A touch and feel book
    Nancy Drew and the mystery of the busted hymen

20. Spud

    22 February, 2007, 3:43 pm

    Best thread for ages

21. Penguin Pete

    22 February, 2007, 4:16 pm

    “The Muppet Chainsaw Massacre”
    “Jack’s First Red Wings”
    “Harry Potter and the Wiccan Fag”
    “One Ho, Two Ho, Brown Ho, Black Ho”
    “Mickey’s Disney Ride Malfunction Adventure”
    “Why Does Daddy Touch Me There?”
    “Blackmail Your Way To An A+”
    “Are You There, God? Well, F*** Off!”
    “Potty Chairs For Dummies”

22. Spud

    22 February, 2007, 4:27 pm

    ‘scuse me while I get off the floor 😀

23. Danno

    22 February, 2007, 4:51 pm

    “Alice in Wonderlust”
    “Peter Panhandler”
    “Dorothy Does the Emerald City”
    “How The Little Mermaid became the Big Old Bitter Mermaid”
    “Make My Little Brother Go Away For Good: A How To Book”
    “Unmentionable Fun With Farm Animals”

24. Flash Gordon

    22 February, 2007, 5:42 pm

    “Froggie went a’ humping”
    “Little Black Sambo–‘Mine’s Biggern yours!”
    “The Little Engine That Did”
    “Uncle Remus Tails–My old Kentucky Ho”

    😛 👿 😈 🙄 :wtf: ❗

25. Mandy

    22 February, 2007, 6:10 pm

    Pat the Playboy Bunny :wang:

26. Bigwavdave

    22 February, 2007, 7:00 pm

    [Comment ID #96167 will be quoted here]

    Would that be Patricia or Patrick? :wtf:

27. pablo

    22 February, 2007, 7:54 pm

    Fresh from Disney!

    Pinocchio’s adventures in San Francisco
    Skanky Ho and the 7 dwarves
    20,000 leagues below the Sea II: Going down on Nemo
    Faggotasia
    Rapunzilla
    Cinderfella’s surprise
    Dumbo & Dumboer
    Finding Nemo naked

28. adognamedgromit

    23 February, 2007, 12:44 am

    Michael Jackson’s new after school special
    Mother Goose and Grim readapted by Steven King
    Free Willie (no the other one)

29. Timm

    23 February, 2007, 6:34 am

    Clifford The Big Red Dog gets neutered.

30. Meagan

    23 February, 2007, 8:44 am

    “Snow White and the 7 Pimps”

31. mitchell52

    23 February, 2007, 2:46 pm

    1. Horton hears the strange rumbling of an impending irritable bowel attack.
    2. Madeline learns fisting.
    3. Green eggs and drool.
    4. Little Red Riding Hood and her herpes.
    5. The three bears eat Godilocks.
    6. Harry Potter and his new wand.

32. Cynical Villain

    23 February, 2007, 5:19 pm

    here are some best sellers….Barnes and Noble should have them:

    One Pill Two Pill Red Pill Blue Pill (just what the Matrix needed)

    Heather Has Two MILFS

    Dick In Jane, and Mary (The Hot 3some)

    How to Eat Fried Chicken

33. Kevin

    24 February, 2007, 1:22 am

    My Sisters Hamper.
    The Hole In My Daddy’s Arm Is Where The Money Goes.
    Boner! by Judy Blume
    Climbing Rope For The Soul
    Are You My Foster Mommy?
    Feral Cats and Bunnies Go To Town. by Richard Scarry
    Rikilickmytavi
    The Goloryhole Adventures Of Goofus and Galliant
    Tom Thumbinherbum

34. Meagan

    24 February, 2007, 3:49 am

    “Goodnight Moon and Goodnight Cruel World” :dead:

    “If You Give a Mouse Cocaine”

35. Coley

    24 February, 2007, 9:27 am

    [Comment ID #96177 will be quoted here]

    See, and I just assumed it was a verb. 😀

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