What I Learned from Prescription Drug Ads
Single folk don't take prescription drugs. Only straight, married couples do. The people who take prescription drugs own Golden Retrievers. They wear matching sweaters tied around their necks and take long walks down the beach. They have unlimited resources for traveling to exotic locales. Only white and black people take prescription drugs. Asians, Hispanics, Pacific Islanders, etc. apparently don't need prescription drugs. Side effects are generally worse than the conditions being treated. Anti-depression drugs cause depression and lead to thoughts of suicide. Wait. Wut? All of this leads me to postulate that if you're white, married and retired, avoid wearing…
And this is why we close HTML tags
Holy crap. Kids, this is why we close HTML tags. Keep scrolling on this page. Courtesy of b3ta.com.
The Hate Cake
My mother made me a Hate Cake today. I don't know what I did to upset her so, but it must have been bad. This was the meanest Hate Cake I'd ever seen. And I've seen plenty in my time. In place of flour, she'd substituted plaster dust. The cake had three wicked layers—each more revolting than the one below it. Each layer was separated by a thin glacé of duck lard. The bottom layer had a fine dusting of used coffee grounds to add texture and a less than delightful crunch. Layer two was equally appalling. It had a…
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