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Relax, Iâ€™m here to protect you.

By Davezilla 21 November, 2004Uncategorized28 Comments

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Complete this sentence #14, Victoria’s Secret Edition

By Davezilla 20 November, 2004Observations26 Comments

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Caption time #26

By Davezilla 19 November, 2004Caption Time49 Comments

Danger! Man with two penises approaching

By Davezilla 17 November, 2004Funny Signs51 Comments

Danger! Man with two penises approaching

Random Effluvia

By Davezilla 17 November, 2004Observations29 Comments

I would like to build a popcorn-powered car. It would make a pleasing sound when driving and the exhaust would be tasty and make small birds happy. Teeth never inflate when you inhale, cause that would look really stupid. I'm glad it never rains skunks and porcupines. I heard someone say that we need to pray for peace. Except I thought she said, peas. So I prayed for peas. Then I had some for dinner. I'm glad I prayed for those peas, cause they were good. Whose bad idea was it to make a corn popsicle? viagra free viagra buy…

Overheard: Small change edition

By Davezilla 16 November, 2004Observations20 Comments

Me: Iâ€™ll have a cappuccino with an extra shot. Barista: Thatâ€™ll be $4.03. Me: [hands her a $20] Barista: Donâ€™t you have anything smaller? Me: Yes, I have some nickels. Barista: â€¦viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk…

Note to self: 5,099

By Davezilla 15 November, 2004Observations17 Comments

The next time you decide to drink absinthe until 4am with your friends, make sure there will be no construction going on at 6am next door.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for…

Honeymoon Poem. Finally, a talent equal to Tiny Tim

By Davezilla 14 November, 2004Observations34 Comments

If you've ever had any doubts whether or not Britney Spears has any talent, let me shoot them in the foot right now, then bend those doubts over, give them a knee to the groin, pull their shirt over their head and sweep their legs. Perhaps I am being too harsh. Perhaps it is because I have been watching martial arts movies all morning. I am of course, referring to Britney's "Honeymoon Poem." It is, if I may quote George Bush, "A catastrophic success." Forget all the inane LiveJournal goth poetry you've ever begrudgingly read. This one beats them all.…

Keeping abreast of my readers #3

By Davezilla 13 November, 2004Uncategorized40 Comments

Yes, it seems like Iâ€™ve created a monster. Or rather, Esther and Mandy have. Readers are busting out at the chance to express themselves. Trouble is, Iâ€™m not sure how many of these are real anymore. You decide. Bobby Peru has never looked lovelier. Sorcha Myra Lori Bobby Peru mikeB viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase…

Anagram Interviews: Dick Cheney and Tony Blair

By Davezilla 12 November, 2004Uncategorized13 Comments

DICK CHENEY Davezilla: Was it really true that you received a ton of kickbacks from Haliburton from the Iraqi conflict? Dick Cheney: I deny check. Davezilla: Mr. Vice-President? Describe your lesbian daughter in two words. Dick Cheney: Needy chick. Davezilla: What's the secret of your unhealthy pallor? Dick Cheney: Chicken dye. Davezilla: No one seems to call you Richard. I guess you don't seem like a Richard so much as a Dick. Dick Cheney: Hence, Dicky. TONY BLAIR Davezilla: Parliament seems to have more on the ball than the US government. Why is that? Tony Blair: Brainy lot. Davezilla: Your…

Meet the Americans #1

By Davezilla 11 November, 2004Observations30 Comments

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Neenie Moo Moo

By Davezilla 10 November, 2004Uncategorized25 Comments