Live! Drive through crucifixion

Drive through crucifixion

You know, for kids. Image courtesy Deep Fried Kudzu

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Show 43 Comments


  1. JFLY

    Try the new McAdam’s Rib! Biggie-size the Last Supper! And don’t forget to ask for a paper crown-of-thorns…

  2. [Comment ID #40699 will be quoted here]


    Very creative, JFLY. I couldn’t think of anything because I was too busy picking up my dropped jaw. I don’t get it. I hope that’s photoshopped.

  3. family jules

    Jesus to bartender:
    Got any bread? Got any bread? Got any bread? Got any bread?

    If you ask me that one more time, I am going to nail your hands to a board!

    Got any nails?


    Got any bread? Got any bread? Got any bread?

  4. Ace

    What, they don’t have time to properly crucify anyone?

  5. I noticed something quite obvious about the sign…the date April 1…a good one from the people of Park Haven Baptist Church…and if it is NOT an April’s Fools joke, they will have to knock my ass out before hand…I WILL NOT DRIVE THRU…

  6. Too bad this isn’t a Caption Time post…I’ve got a good one for you all:

    “If a drive-thru works for McDonald’s, it should work for us too, right?!!!?”

  7. Anna

    Did you notice that they have a ‘Wednesday’ at 7:00 pm. Is that at every 7:00?
    My preference would go to a ‘Saturday’ at 3:00 PM.

  8. JFLY

    Jesus-Christ-on-a-stick, Dave! Where do you come up with this stuff? 😈

  9. Becky

    Oh shucks I was waiting for the Drive Through Resurection!

  10. mitch

    I believe our fast paced life is moving just a little too fast, when we can’t take a little time out from our hectic schedules to crucify someone. Crucifying requires a lot of thought and patience. Drive through crucifixions is just another sign that we are becoming lazy.

  11. [Comment ID #40705 will be quoted here]

    It actually says March 31 & April 1, suggesting it is not an April Fools Prank.

    I agree with mitch. Life is too short to skimp on the important things. Let us follow in the footsteps of Thich Nat Hanh and make everything we do meaningful. Each thudding carcass and crunching bone should be given mindful attention. 🙂

  12. Bob

    If they are in such a hurry they can use cordless nail guns to really speed up service. however I hope they are not using partical board for the crosses it my be cheaper but I dont think it would hold up very well.

  13. Cindy

    Can you get fries with that? :wtf:

  14. Yeah but over at the synagog Moses lets us have it our way.

  15. [Comment ID #40746 will be quoted here]

    I just don’t want this to go unnoticed.

    I even repeated “ON A STICK!” out loud a couple times because I’m pretty much a huge fan of “dad humor”.

  16. Spud

    This conjures up images of an endless line of cars with people getting crucified to their roofracks.

    With a cordless nail gun of course.



  17. This is obviously an enterprising Christian franchise that wants to compete with the Muslim chain of ‘STONINGS WHILE-U-WAIT’ outlets and the Jewish ‘1-HOUR CIRCUMCISION’ kiosks.

  18. Marcus

    If you click on the link in my message it won’t take you to the page I saw. However, if you search the site for ‘crucifixion’ you will fine the stories. Sorry about any problems.

  19. Marcus

    I think I need to be crucified.

    fine = find

    Nail me to the cross, baby.

  20. Bjorn Freeh

    At the Unitarian Jihad name generator I found, I was dubbed, “Brother Pepper Spray of Love and Mercy”.

    Rise up in ferocious defense of moderation! Destroy those who violate reasonableness! Oh, and bring a dish to pass…

  21. jules

    unitarian jihad? where can i sign up !! 😛

  22. TJ


  23. Coley

    [Comment ID #40913 will be quoted here]

    I am “Sister Gatling Gun of Looking at All Sides of the Question”

  24. That sounds like the Judas Iscariot value meal to me (#4 on the menu; no substitution betrayals allowed).

  25. Jen

    Is there that many people that need to be saved in this world, that they must go to this extent?!?! If that is what it takes, then I think I would rather stay lost. Hey, I wonder if the kids eat free? 🙄 Also, I am thinking that the ride home on your luggage rack would be very painful. If you weren’t dead by the time you got home, you were wishing you were. ❓

  26. JFLY

    [Comment ID #40862 will be quoted here]

    Marcus, see Bob…he’s a pro. 😛

  27. MrDoug

    Makes you wonder what the coverstaion between Grummuh & Thomas P would sound like…
    Grummuh: “Thomas P? Thomas P? Lokiee dat Man Thomas P
    Grummuh. Lissen to yer Grummuh. Dat is dat boy billy from the other projects who did not lissen to his Grummuh.
    Theresa Jo: leve em alone he dont need be seen his daddy stapled to dem boards
    Grummuh: “Thomas P? You look! Yo better behave or I staple yo ass to some boards you listenen Thomas P?”

    Now is this for Jesus or just some other common criminal? I know the law is tough in the south but what crime do you have to commit to get crucified these days?

  28. Beasthunter

    i wonder what kind of idiot would actually drive in and ask to be crucified?

  29. cbatdux

    Bible King: If we don’t crucify you in 90 seconds or less, your next papal indulgence is Free! Make sure you ask for your King Herrod bobble-head today! (while supplies last).

  30. John K

    Live Drive-Thru Crucifixion on Tuesday & Wednesday preceeded by morning Sunday School which is followed by morning and evening worship.
    Is it tape delay on Wednesday or do you get crucified twice?
    Is all of this followed by a live Drive Thru Resurrection on Thursday?
    Perhaps we all turn to CNN live all day coverage to see if our sins are forgiven too.

  31. Driver

    [Comment ID #40699 will be quoted here]

    I wonder how much it cost to biggie–size the last supper and do children get a Jesus action figure with thiers?

  32. Ace

    [Comment ID #40794 will be quoted here]

    That’ll be held three days later.

  33. I was also going to say… I think they’ve nailed me pretty good on that…

  34. Timmmy

    Coming soon: Drive thru Combination Car wash and Baptism, Just crank down your window if you want baptised.

  35. [Comment ID #40814 will be quoted here]

    Okay, Okay Captain…I saw the March 31on the sign too…I just thought it was just a ploy from the Park Haven Baptist Church to throw us off…

    And Spud…as for the cordless nail gun…this sign and drive thru crucifixtion was brought to us by Bob Villa and the fine people of Craftsman Tools…

  36. JFLY

    [Comment ID #40997 will be quoted here]

    So the Bob above is really Bob Villa? That explains everything!

  37. Meagan

    I don’t think this is ketchup… :puke:

  38. Meagan

    I think Ikea has something like that, except you build it yourself and in the process of doing that you somehow nail yourself to the boards.

  39. A Baptist church in my areas advertises a “Live Nativity” every Christmas: Wed at 7, Sat at 7 and Sunda at 10 and Noon.

    Two important questions:
    1) How do get the times so precise?
    2) Are these different pregnant Marys or do they shove the baby back in when she’s done?

  40. brianne

    AWESOME!! i always wanted to see wat it would be like to be crucified just two questions 😆
    1) Can i get a jesus action figure for my nephew?? 😀
    2) Do i get a ressurection and if so,when?? :wtf: 😕

Comments are closed