Live! Drive through crucifixion

1. JFLY

   05 April, 2006, 11:30 pm

   Try the new McAdam’s Rib! Biggie-size the Last Supper! And don’t forget to ask for a paper crown-of-thorns…

2. Fran

   05 April, 2006, 11:40 pm

   [Comment ID #40699 will be quoted here]

   :wtf:

   Very creative, JFLY. I couldn’t think of anything because I was too busy picking up my dropped jaw. I don’t get it. I hope that’s photoshopped.

3. family jules

   06 April, 2006, 12:01 am

   Jesus to bartender:
   Got any bread? Got any bread? Got any bread? Got any bread?

   Bartender:
   If you ask me that one more time, I am going to nail your hands to a board!

   Jesus:
   Got any nails?

   Bartender:
   No.

   Jesus:
   Got any bread? Got any bread? Got any bread?

4. Ace

   06 April, 2006, 12:23 am

   What, they don’t have time to properly crucify anyone?

5. Master Solace

   06 April, 2006, 12:31 am

   I noticed something quite obvious about the sign…the date April 1…a good one from the people of Park Haven Baptist Church…and if it is NOT an April’s Fools joke, they will have to knock my ass out before hand…I WILL NOT DRIVE THRU…

6. Master Solace

   06 April, 2006, 12:33 am

   Too bad this isn’t a Caption Time post…I’ve got a good one for you all:

   “If a drive-thru works for McDonald’s, it should work for us too, right?!!!?”

7. Anna

   06 April, 2006, 1:52 am

   Did you notice that they have a ‘Wednesday’ at 7:00 pm. Is that at every 7:00?
   My preference would go to a ‘Saturday’ at 3:00 PM.

8. JFLY

   06 April, 2006, 2:53 am

   Jesus-Christ-on-a-stick, Dave! Where do you come up with this stuff? 😈

9. Becky

   06 April, 2006, 4:18 am

   Oh shucks I was waiting for the Drive Through Resurection!

10. mitch

    06 April, 2006, 5:20 am

    I believe our fast paced life is moving just a little too fast, when we can’t take a little time out from our hectic schedules to crucify someone. Crucifying requires a lot of thought and patience. Drive through crucifixions is just another sign that we are becoming lazy.

11. Davezilla

    06 April, 2006, 5:32 am

    [Comment ID #40705 will be quoted here]

    It actually says March 31 & April 1, suggesting it is not an April Fools Prank.

    I agree with mitch. Life is too short to skimp on the important things. Let us follow in the footsteps of Thich Nat Hanh and make everything we do meaningful. Each thudding carcass and crunching bone should be given mindful attention. 🙂

12. Bob

    06 April, 2006, 6:30 am

    If they are in such a hurry they can use cordless nail guns to really speed up service. however I hope they are not using partical board for the crosses it my be cheaper but I dont think it would hold up very well.

13. Cindy

    06 April, 2006, 6:55 am

    Can you get fries with that? :wtf:

14. Tami Jo

    06 April, 2006, 7:06 am

    Yeah but over at the synagog Moses lets us have it our way.

15. Other April

    06 April, 2006, 7:28 am

    [Comment ID #40746 will be quoted here]

    I just don’t want this to go unnoticed.

    I even repeated “ON A STICK!” out loud a couple times because I’m pretty much a huge fan of “dad humor”.

16. Spud

    06 April, 2006, 7:41 am

    This conjures up images of an endless line of cars with people getting crucified to their roofracks.

    With a cordless nail gun of course.

    Next!

    :geek:

17. Marcus

    06 April, 2006, 7:54 am

    Fwee Bwian. Fwee Bwian. 😆 I’ve seen worse. Crucifixion is nothing. Merely a flesh wound. 😆 Oh, wait a minute, is it a Philippine church? Check out this link.
    http://news.inq7.net/nation/index.php?dex=3&story_id=31317&published_site=16

    I think the link was 😆 I have always know that Unitarians can never make a decision. 😀

18. Lung the Younger

    06 April, 2006, 8:17 am

    This is obviously an enterprising Christian franchise that wants to compete with the Muslim chain of ‘STONINGS WHILE-U-WAIT’ outlets and the Jewish ‘1-HOUR CIRCUMCISION’ kiosks.

19. Marcus

    06 April, 2006, 9:02 am

    If you click on the link in my message it won’t take you to the page I saw. However, if you search the site for ‘crucifixion’ you will fine the stories. Sorry about any problems.

20. Marcus

    06 April, 2006, 9:03 am

    I think I need to be crucified.

    fine = find

    Nail me to the cross, baby.

21. Bjorn Freeh

    06 April, 2006, 10:15 am

    At the Unitarian Jihad name generator I found, I was dubbed, “Brother Pepper Spray of Love and Mercy”.

    http://homepage.mac.com/whump/ujname.html

    Rise up in ferocious defense of moderation! Destroy those who violate reasonableness! Oh, and bring a dish to pass…

22. jules

    06 April, 2006, 11:00 am

    unitarian jihad? where can i sign up !! 😛

23. TJ

    06 April, 2006, 11:41 am

    On a STIIIIIIIIICK
    😈

24. Coley

    06 April, 2006, 11:45 am

    [Comment ID #40913 will be quoted here]

    I am “Sister Gatling Gun of Looking at All Sides of the Question”
    :wtf:

25. Esther

    06 April, 2006, 12:56 pm

    That sounds like the Judas Iscariot value meal to me (#4 on the menu; no substitution betrayals allowed).

26. Jen

    06 April, 2006, 1:21 pm

    Is there that many people that need to be saved in this world, that they must go to this extent?!?! If that is what it takes, then I think I would rather stay lost. Hey, I wonder if the kids eat free? 🙄 Also, I am thinking that the ride home on your luggage rack would be very painful. If you weren’t dead by the time you got home, you were wishing you were. ❓

27. JFLY

    06 April, 2006, 1:50 pm

    [Comment ID #40862 will be quoted here]

    Marcus, see Bob…he’s a pro. 😛

28. MrDoug

    06 April, 2006, 2:10 pm

    Makes you wonder what the coverstaion between Grummuh & Thomas P would sound like…
    Grummuh: “Thomas P? Thomas P? Lokiee dat Man Thomas P
    Grummuh. Lissen to yer Grummuh. Dat is dat boy billy from the other projects who did not lissen to his Grummuh.
    Theresa Jo: leve em alone he dont need be seen his daddy stapled to dem boards
    Grummuh: “Thomas P? You look! Yo better behave or I staple yo ass to some boards you listenen Thomas P?”

    Now is this for Jesus or just some other common criminal? I know the law is tough in the south but what crime do you have to commit to get crucified these days?

29. Beasthunter

    06 April, 2006, 3:14 pm

    i wonder what kind of idiot would actually drive in and ask to be crucified?

30. cbatdux

    06 April, 2006, 4:55 pm

    Bible King: If we don’t crucify you in 90 seconds or less, your next papal indulgence is Free! Make sure you ask for your King Herrod bobble-head today! (while supplies last).

31. John K

    06 April, 2006, 5:43 pm

    Live Drive-Thru Crucifixion on Tuesday & Wednesday preceeded by morning Sunday School which is followed by morning and evening worship.
    Is it tape delay on Wednesday or do you get crucified twice?
    Is all of this followed by a live Drive Thru Resurrection on Thursday?
    Perhaps we all turn to CNN live all day coverage to see if our sins are forgiven too.

32. Driver

    06 April, 2006, 7:11 pm

    [Comment ID #40699 will be quoted here]

    I wonder how much it cost to biggie–size the last supper and do children get a Jesus action figure with thiers?

33. Ace

    06 April, 2006, 7:31 pm

    [Comment ID #40794 will be quoted here]

    That’ll be held three days later.

34. addfdf

    06 April, 2006, 8:44 pm

    :D, 🙂

35. CroneWynd

    06 April, 2006, 9:03 pm

    My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Sister Nail Gun of Courteous Debate.
    Get yours.

36. CroneWynd

    06 April, 2006, 9:04 pm

    I was also going to say… I think they’ve nailed me pretty good on that…

37. Timmmy

    06 April, 2006, 10:20 pm

    Coming soon: Drive thru Combination Car wash and Baptism, Just crank down your window if you want baptised.

38. Master Solace

    06 April, 2006, 10:22 pm

    [Comment ID #40814 will be quoted here]

    Okay, Okay Captain…I saw the March 31on the sign too…I just thought it was just a ploy from the Park Haven Baptist Church to throw us off…

    And Spud…as for the cordless nail gun…this sign and drive thru crucifixtion was brought to us by Bob Villa and the fine people of Craftsman Tools…

39. JFLY

    06 April, 2006, 11:17 pm

    [Comment ID #40997 will be quoted here]

    So the Bob above is really Bob Villa? That explains everything!

40. Meagan

    07 April, 2006, 8:23 am

    I don’t think this is ketchup… :puke:

41. Meagan

    07 April, 2006, 8:25 am

    I think Ikea has something like that, except you build it yourself and in the process of doing that you somehow nail yourself to the boards.

42. Dorothy

    07 April, 2006, 8:59 am

    A Baptist church in my areas advertises a “Live Nativity” every Christmas: Wed at 7, Sat at 7 and Sunda at 10 and Noon.

    Two important questions:
    1) How do get the times so precise?
    2) Are these different pregnant Marys or do they shove the baby back in when she’s done?

43. brianne

    09 April, 2006, 3:21 pm

    AWESOME!! i always wanted to see wat it would be like to be crucified just two questions 😆
    1) Can i get a jesus action figure for my nephew?? 😀
    2) Do i get a ressurection and if so,when?? :wtf: 😕

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