How not to pick up girls

1. Pete

   21 July, 2005, 12:10 am

   Hopefully that spiky-haired dude didn’t use all ten of these phrases at once.

2. Lung the Younger

   21 July, 2005, 3:34 am

   Coincidently my sleazy brother just sent me a whole list of atrocious pick up lines. The fact that he’s married proves Darwin wrong:

   -(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.
   – Nice legs… What time do they open?
   – Do you work for the post office? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
   – You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
   – Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
   – I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
   – I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
   – Wanna play army? I’ll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me.
   – I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked.
   – You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
   – I’d walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
   – If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
   – (Look down at your crotch) Well, it’s not just going to suck itself.
   – You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
   – You, Me, Whipped cream and Handcuffs. Any questions?
   – Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
   – My name is (name)…remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.
   – Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
   – Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
   – I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
   – Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
   – Do you wash your pants in Mr Sheen because I can see myself in them?

3. Mandy

   21 July, 2005, 6:54 am

   A networking :geek: at work tried to impress me with how many miles of Ethernet he’d strung. 😐

4. Amy

   21 July, 2005, 8:18 am

   “If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?…Please?”

5. Chris

   21 July, 2005, 8:32 am

   I had a friend that actually got a girl with this line.

   “Nice shoes…wanna fuck?”

   I could not believe that had worked.

6. Lung the Elder

   21 July, 2005, 10:28 am

   Chris: You clearly don’t understand women.

   My contribution: “You’re ugly, but you fascinate me”

7. Merth

   21 July, 2005, 10:49 am

   Mandy, I would imagine you have heard some very interesting lines. ???

   How about.
   “You look like you have had a rough day. Sex always make me feel better. What do you say?”

   “So, is this going to happen or what?”

8. Timonea

   21 July, 2005, 3:30 pm

   My creepy brother-in-law is proud of this one :
   “Do you want to get a pizza and fuck? Or don’t you like pizza?”

9. Spud

   21 July, 2005, 6:33 pm

   so… no mentioning of plumbers crack would impress a girl ??

10. Dante

    21 July, 2005, 7:49 pm

    And please don’t use “you’re so hot I can fry bacon on you” or “my dick just ain’t for peeing ya know”. They’re only funny in theory :razz:.

11. DK

    21 July, 2005, 8:28 pm

    Don’t tell her great looks remind you of an old girlfriend, who was, btw, a fu***g, cu** with a bad attitude and worse personality. 🙄

12. Keith Burgin

    21 July, 2005, 10:36 pm

    At a WeightWatchers meeting:

    “Hey, baby… how many points is my dick?”

13. Katlyn

    22 July, 2005, 12:26 am

    “do you have breast cancer?”

14. Christopher

    22 July, 2005, 2:43 am

    My favorite is, “Is that a keg in your back pocket? ‘Cause I want to tap that ass!”

    My friend likes, “That’s a lovely shade of hot you’re wearing.”

15. Lung the Younger

    22 July, 2005, 5:09 am

    No kidding, in the past a typical way to propose marriage in rural Ireland was:

    “D’you want to be buried with my people?’

16. PirateSimon

    22 July, 2005, 7:12 am

    Ahoy there, lassie! My parrot wants tae know if thar be an “x” painted on the seat of thy pants?

    Because methinks there be fabulous booty buried within! Arr!

    –Simon

17. Steve

    22 July, 2005, 7:23 am

    “I’ve learned to breathe through my ears”

18. newnicki

    27 July, 2005, 9:09 am

    I’d like to meet Steve.

19. Andy

    29 July, 2005, 11:34 am

    My personal favorite:

    “Baby, gimme your mama’s address, I wanna send her a thank-you card!”

    Too bad I thought of it after I was already married, but it always gets a laugh.

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