Honey Don’t List

  1. Don’t bathe the puppy in the dishwasher. Or the washing machine.
  2. Don’t use your socks to mop the floor. Or mine.
  3. Cleaning the mini blinds does not mean turning the slats the other way so the dirt faces the neighbors.
  4. Laying 2x4s over your pants does not constitute ironing.
  5. Don’t use the iron to make grilled cheese for the kids.
  6. Don’t use the leaf blower indoors.
  7. Tying the dog to the bumper and driving to the store is not walking the dog.
  8. Taking the kids to see the game does not mean taking them to a bar with big screen TV.
  9. Do not use M80s to clean the gutters
  10. What don’t you want your honey to do?

Suggested by Chris Barry

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Show 18 Comments


  1. tabbie

    don’t hand off the baby to your mom when I say watch the baby for a little while while I go to town.
    don’t eat all the cookies when told to put them away.
    don’t say you can’t find something when you just look at the table instead of moving stuff.

    I haven’t been on in awhile… Sorry it’s a life thing but I have read!!!!
    I am first YEAH!!!!!!!

  2. me

    don’t clean the baby by holding in the toilet and flushing

  3. silentstorm

    don’t clean off the table by putting everything on the coffee table and vice versa
    don’t bathe cat in dishwasher or washing machine
    don’t call a sports fan during a game and get mad when they don’t pay attention (girls like sports too!)
    don’t try to have txt msg convos with me, i have to pay for those too!

  4. Mandy

    Don’t talk after sex. Ever.

  5. Driver

    [Comment ID #74882 will be quoted here]

    Mandy you are every mans dream and a godess :wang:

  6. Kirk

    Don’t breath! ….. okay, so, I’m going through a nasty divorce… 😛

  7. Spud

    Don’t forget to pull a finger before you fart or somewhere an angel dies.


  8. Anna

    Don’t you DARE tell me what you don’t want me to do!!! I’ll do any damn thing I please!!

  9. -..use whiteout on the squished mosquitoes instead of cleaning them off the wall.
    -..install basketball hoop directly over flowerbed.
    -..clip your nose hair at church meetings.
    -..sing Rod Stewart songs in the shower.
    -..use MY hairdryer to dry YOUR upholstery.
    -..try to slip the cashier your cell number when you think I’m too busy bagging our groceries to notice.
    -..try to impress other guests at the gallery opening by simultaneously fitting four canapés in your mouth.
    -..keep belching the theme tune to Walker Texas Ranger every time it comes on the TV.
    -…store your back issues of Hustler under the baby cot.
    -…start snoring three seconds after we finish.

    One of the above sentences was said to me by my girlfriend a long time ago .. but I’m not saying which one.

  10. I don’t have a boyfriend, so I’ll use my step-brothers instead.
    Don’t leave your dirty clothes on your bedroom floor or the puppy will get them and eat them.
    Don’t leave dirty dishes on the counter when the dishwasher is right in front of you.
    Don’t ever scare me with a fake spider or I’ll castrate you. :limp: :wtf:

  11. Logan

    i’ll use my ex-girlfriend, don’t ever tell me the opposite of what i want to hear unless i’m drunk on vodca, or bacardi. she truly was a bitch 👿

  12. Logan

    [Comment ID #74882 will be quoted here]

    can we do it :thong:or do i owe you an apology :wang:

  13. jwalkingthunder

    :roll:oh how true lmao 🙂

  14. crystal

    Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do with our dog, since I primarily take care of him.
    Don’t put a plate with food still on it in hte sink without cleaning it off first.
    Don’t use my nightstand because your’s is too full of plates and garbage.
    Don’t be nice to me just to have sex, just tell me upfront, you may even be surprised… :wang:
    Don’t leave your mess in my clean kitchen during the nighttime hours, so I have to wake up to it.
    Don’t teach our children naughty things to say to your mother in law….:twisted: 😈
    Don’t turn your shirt inside out and think it means your clean.
    Don’t think saying “Yes Dear” makes everything ok, it doesn’t.

  15. Flash Gordon

    Don’t try to dry the Chihuahua in the microwave, for pete’s sake.
    Don’t starch my shorts. 👿 😈 🙄 😳 :wtf:

  16. Irene

    Please don’t leave the stairs to the loft lifted, specially if I’m still SLEEPING in the loft!! Spiderwoman I’m NOT!!!

  17. evelyn

    when i clean th etable that does not mean take the broom and sweep it off ❓

Comments are closed