Choosing the new Pope

1. Matt

   19 April, 2005, 12:24 am

   Elton John!
   Terri Schaivo!

   or if you’re into child molestation, Michael Jackson 😳

2. millie

   19 April, 2005, 12:57 am

   The spanish cardinal… Cardinal Sicola. Once he is elected, he will make much advertising revenue for the church, as he will become Pope Sicola!
   (sound it out if it doesn’t make sense)

3. Kirk

   19 April, 2005, 1:12 am

   Excellent Millie! :wang:

4. Kirk

   19 April, 2005, 1:17 am

   ooops, I forgot to vote…dang nabbed paper ballots and chalice thingy….”I call as my witness, Chris the Horde who wil be my judge, that my vote is given to the one who, before (insert your choice of supreme being here), I think should be elected……I elect as supreme powerpoint…Davezilla!” :wang: :wang: :wang: (the official seal):wang::wang::wang:

5. notsnot

   19 April, 2005, 1:28 am

   Rev Jellybaby. (for some reason, having a “jellybaby” as a world leader of sorts reminds me of Ronald Reagan.)

6. Spud

   19 April, 2005, 1:41 am

   Yeah, I’ll second the Rev as a candidatecardinale…

7. Elkit

   19 April, 2005, 1:52 am

   I’m voting for Joe Bob Briggs. I think the world is ready for Pope Joe Bob.

8. TinaMarie

   19 April, 2005, 2:26 am

   I nominate Cardinal Joseph Bernadine of Chicago.

   Okay…so he’s dead. But then again, he wouldn’t get the Catholics into any child molestation problems. And besides, he was a very nice man. Very nice. Just ask my Nana Jean. Uh…then again, don’t. She’s dead too.

   Nevermind.

9. Lung the Younger

   19 April, 2005, 3:34 am

   I have no idea why, but for some reason Alan Greenspan keeps coming into my head when I think of a possible new pope.

10. Anna

    19 April, 2005, 4:07 am

    Don’t care, as long as she’s pro gays, aids prevention and birthcontrol. Also she must be tough [read: shoot them] on childmolesting priests.
    She may wear a papal pair of paints if she so wishes (al those old geezers in dresses … bbrrr :limp:)

11. mikeB

    19 April, 2005, 6:40 am

    Papal paints, Anna? Is she one of those Spring Break chicks?

12. Lace Valentine

    19 April, 2005, 6:48 am

    Hell, why not let Wolfowitz have that job too!

    “Ah-woo! The Wolfowitz of Romans…”

13. Lace Valentine

    19 April, 2005, 6:49 am

    Enjoyed the Cartoon, Dave.

    Great job.

14. Fellow Eskimo

    19 April, 2005, 7:28 am

    Jon Stewart! Cant you just see him holding out his papal ring and asking other men to kiss it?!

15. Andy M

    19 April, 2005, 7:30 am

    I don’t see any way of posting an image so here is a link to my suggestion…

    http://www.foneblog.ie/andym/_entry/552868c4033a51b101035a37fd5c08a1/ps/ENTRY/EDITENTRY?mediaElementId=552868c4033a51b101035a37fd5c08a2&foneblog=1113910172537

    Sorry it is such a long link!

16. TheFaramir

    19 April, 2005, 7:30 am

    Why, isn’t it obvious who the next Pope should be? Davezilla, of course!

    We could call him “Popezilla.”

    As a graphic artist, he could design his own rock-star-style “Popezilla World Tour” T-shirt and raise millions of dollars for the needy.

    He could pimp out the Popemobile.

    When he moves to Europe, imagine all the new species not indigenous to North America that could be added to the Freak Watchers Textbook!

    His Manly Tips for Bachelor Living would make a great guide for all the priests who aren’t allowed to marry.

    He could develop a website that automatically absolves sin online, thereby increasing the efficiency of the confessional by 50%! (Maybe by more if we could get all the porn sites to offer a link to this site. Just think: getting naughty with one’s self then immediately being forgiven. That greatly decreases the chance of getting killed and being sent to hell between the two acts for millions of Internet users.)

    Davezilla for Pope in 2005!

17. TheFaramir

    19 April, 2005, 7:34 am

    Oh, yeah. I forgot.

    Davezilla could also realize the “Catholicism Wow!” campaign and make the Buddy Christ the new symbol of the Catholic Church. (With Kevin Smith’s permission, of course.)

    (Thanks for jogging my memory, Andy M.)

18. frisko

    19 April, 2005, 8:14 am

    I vote for George Carlin as Pope. There would be much reform in Europe.

19. Spud

    19 April, 2005, 8:44 am

    TheFaramir makes a strong argument.

    However, I tender the following nomination for Pope…

    Alfred E. Neuman

    The reasons are obvious,

    He’s young
    He’s good looking
    He’s available
    He’s your man

    😀

20. woozy

    19 April, 2005, 9:27 am

    either
    a. “Ron Mexico” or,
    b. Rae Carruth

21. Merth

    19 April, 2005, 9:34 am

    I am really starting to like soccer. Thank you mikeB!

22. Venessa

    19 April, 2005, 11:32 am

    Rowan Atkinson – Have you seen his skit “A Warm Welcome”?

    http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Alley/1842/atkinson.html#welcome

23. rust

    19 April, 2005, 11:33 am

    I hate to say it, but isn’t it obvious? No matter what the Cardinals vote, GEORGE DUBYA BUSH-BABY will steal the election …

24. jen

    19 April, 2005, 12:20 pm

    white smoke… waiting for the grand unvieling. I’m guessing the African guy.

25. JFLY

    19 April, 2005, 1:39 pm

    My answer is Jesus Christ – he’s perfect for the job.

26. Natalie

    19 April, 2005, 1:40 pm

    I know who it is, but I think Eddie Izzard should have been the next Pope. We’ll just overlook the fact that he’s Anglican. High Anglicans are almost the same thing as Catholics anyway.

    Cake, or death?

27. Quality26

    19 April, 2005, 2:15 pm

    Bill Clinton

28. Lord Satan

    19 April, 2005, 9:16 pm

    😈 we shall have elected a new pope that will decry the idolatry that is the worship of the prophet jesus. :wang: The new pope will proceed to rape another priest to symbolize his support for the homosexual marriage :wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang::wang:

29. Mandy

    19 April, 2005, 9:25 pm

    Millie!

30. Kirk

    19 April, 2005, 10:25 pm

    Looks like the prize goes to the college of cardinals …who in their wisdom have elected a ultra conservative former Nazi as Pope! Woot-woot! Now we ALL can burn in hell!

31. Andy M

    20 April, 2005, 4:40 am

    I’d back Nathalie on Eddie Izzard. He could save the vatican a fortune and bring his own frock.

32. RoscoeP

    20 April, 2005, 9:46 am

    I think Winnie should be the new Pope because it would be fun to say Winnie The Pope.

    And you forgot a smoke signal. A succession of short brown smoke signals means the Cardinals are taking turns farting into the pipe.

33. Kelley Bell

    20 April, 2005, 12:29 pm

    For Pope?

    How about the chick from “Misery”

    you remember her…

    “Im your number one fan…”

    Creepy. (Shiver)

34. wantwit

    20 April, 2005, 4:08 pm

    i didn’t enter the contest because i just wanted the 40 dollars.

35. Esther

    20 April, 2005, 7:16 pm

    Cake.:kiss:

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