Malapropisms and mispronunciations

  1. “perifeal vision” (heard on CNN)
  2. “samwichiz (heard on CNN)
  3. “perdickuler” (neighbor)
  4. “fedral mandrate” (heard on CSPAN2)
  5. “teepanated” (heard at work)
  6. “for all intensive purposes” (heard on CNN)
  7. “lack toast and tolerant” (heard at work)
  8. “I guess it was just a pigment of my imagination.” (same neighbor)
  9. “My glasses were so foggied up with compensation.” (heard at Pier One)
  10. “Michael Jackson sleeps in a hyperactive chamber.” (heard at Starbucks)

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Comments

28 responses to “Malapropisms and mispronunciations”

  1. Kenn Avatar

    Stop beranguing me! (My wife. Not sure if I was berating her or harranguing her at the time. Maybe both.)

  2. Kenn Avatar

    Er… haranguing. (Note to self: Learn to spell.)

  3. Dante Avatar

    “Addictive A-personality”

    (Said by me all the bloody time).

  4. Nikki Avatar

    “New Or-lee-yans” (Larry King) 👿

  5. Mission Avatar
    Mission

    “Just a pigment of your menstration.” (heard at a college party… nuf said)

  6. pappy Avatar
    pappy

    “Haha you sound like you have a speech predicament.”

    ..

    Ugh. :dead:

  7. pappy Avatar
    pappy

    Oh and by the way on that one..

    It was this stupid girl in my class and when she said it, I laughed..

    But no one else got it.. 🙁

  8. rust Avatar

    Make no mistake:

    bzzzt! red alert! man yer battle stations! major BS to follow! Prepare to receive major spin!! Weapons! Mass! Destruction! Yer! With! Me! or! Yer! with! thuh! Terr’rists!

  9. Minnie Avatar

    “Fe-bew-ary” (CNN). 👿

  10. Fran Avatar

    Minnie, didn’t you know that’s the best month to go the lie-berry.

  11. GiGi Avatar
    GiGi

    My son likes the “Florida State Sinimoles”

    Go Moles!

  12. Spud Avatar
    Spud

    # “Michael Jackson sleeps in a hyperactive chamber.”

    this could actually be true…

    some of the others are very funny and often repeated, everywhere…

  13. ME Avatar
    ME

    I’m so slick and turd & the hole 9 yards:wtf:

  14. Michele Avatar
    Michele

    3 dimensions? With my per-ferial vision I can see in like 20 dimensions (spoken by a co-worker, and because of repeating this quote, I can no longer pronounce peripheral)

  15. Esther Avatar

    “Suposeably,” “Noocular,” or “axed” for “asked”.

  16. tinamarie Avatar
    tinamarie

    My dad used to work at a ‘noocular’ plant and my grandmother was afraid that all that radiation would make it so his ‘tessicles’ wouldn’t ‘work like they should.’

    This was my grandmother’s fear–mine was that my grandmother would never learn decent diction.

  17. Josh Riemens Avatar
    Josh Riemens

    I thinks it’s funny how almost everyone says pronounciation when it’s actually pro-nun-ciation! Go ahead…look it up!

  18. rust Avatar

    Tinamarie: are you sure Granny wasn’t saying “teslacles” (which would make more sense, considering the generation of electrical energy and all)?

  19. Vazey Avatar
    Vazey

    When I was younger my mother used to make us girl cheese for lunch and biscetti for dinner. I’m much older and and i still slip up and say them like that from time to time.

  20. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    “if I wear pajamas I will look conspicious.”

    (pronounced “con-SPI-shus”)

  21. Fran Avatar

    very funny, Rust:smile:

  22. rust Avatar

    Akshully, getting back to Tinamarie and her Granny, it could have been “Tesla Coils” she was saying, not testicles. You never know how brilliant some people are…

    I’ve got a cold. That’s why my brain hasn’t been working at full charge.

  23. Wild Bill Avatar
    Wild Bill

    I worked as a cop with a fellow many years named Hicks. We put together the “Hicks-tionary”.
    The fire was distinquished.
    I’m stopping a VCR van. (RV)
    I’m stopping a Terrolla Terrolla. (Toyota Corolla)
    I’m stopping a Dodge Aspirin.
    I’m stopping tag two-one-nine A-Alice, Q-Cuba.
    Many, many more!

  24. Ms.Z Avatar
    Ms.Z

    How about “Does anyone have fidty cents?” instead of fifty. :dead:

  25.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    inflammibal

  26. charisse Avatar
    charisse

    Repeated to me by a physician as told to him by his patient when asking about the patient’s medical history: and I quote: I have fireballs of the ukerrus (fibroids of the uterus)… this is a true story:smile:

    same physician told me… a patient when asked about whether or not their insurance will pay for a particular procedure… “Oh, yes, my HBO will take care of that!!!!

  27. charisse Avatar
    charisse

    I was laughing so hard.. I was historical!:smile:

  28. Steph Avatar

    “Exetera” for “et cetera”

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