Rules to live by

1. kismet

   05 November, 2004, 12:13 am

   Gansta Knitter is disturbing.

2. Esther

   05 November, 2004, 12:40 am

   So it looks like Frank Zappa’s retarded second cousins have been let out of the basement for a bit.

3. Fran

   05 November, 2004, 1:21 am

   If your dog’s been left alone in the house for 8 hours and you take it out to pee and it doesn’t, then you should look for a wet spot somewhere in your house. :wtf:
   -courtesy of my dog, Hope

4. Fran

   05 November, 2004, 1:50 am

   Gangsta Knitter was entertaining…but then my drugs have just kicked in.:???:

5. April

   05 November, 2004, 2:50 am

   Never play leap frog with a unicorn. — CONFUCIUS

6. Matthew

   05 November, 2004, 4:20 am

   “The wish to become a politician should forever bar one from becoming one.” ~ Billy Connoly.

7. Mike

   05 November, 2004, 7:42 am

   “If it has tits or tires, it’s going to cause you trouble”

8. rust

   05 November, 2004, 8:35 am

   Surprise, surprise, surprise!

   Things is always in the last place you look!
   – GOMER PYLE, USMC

9. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

   05 November, 2004, 9:31 am

   ReV’s Rules to live by:

   1/ Never put your self down (There’s plenty of others to do that for you)

   2/ Never trust an Ewok with your library card.

   3/ Never eat yellow snow cones.

   4/ Every cloud has a silver lining therefore, every silver lining MUST have a cloud.

   5/ A man who thinks he can never win, has already lost.

   6/ Walk quietly and carry a big stick.

   7/ Don’t hit things bigger than you or with more teeth.

   8/ Don’t expect too much from life, as then you will never be disappointed.

   I hope you all utilize my advice to become better people.

   Good Day Citizens.
   😕

10. Abby

    05 November, 2004, 11:08 am

    1. Don’t pick up an angry cat naked. (Personal experience for that one…never mind how.)

    2. Never play poker for money with someone whose nickname is a city.

    3. I’d like this one to be emblazoned in public places:

    Never leave your child anywhere you wouldn’t leave your wallet.

    (Unattended in the front seat of your car, in your shopping cart while you’re in the next aisle, in your house with the door unlocked, in the care of a person whose references you haven’t checked…)

11. Cheap Date

    05 November, 2004, 11:58 am

    If you’re running late for work, rest assured you’re going to get stuck behind the slowest bastard with non-working turn signals! 😡

12. Emily

    05 November, 2004, 12:13 pm

    You have no idea how much fun I have reading your site. And today, aside from the usual fun that I have reading it – I saw you post something by someone from trumansburg, new york. I’m sure this means little to anyone else, but to me – who spent much of my youth at the Rongovian Embassy there…it gave me an added little thrill and put a smile on my face. Thanks for the funnies each day.

13. Lace Valentine

    05 November, 2004, 12:32 pm

    “There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain of its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.” –Machiavelli, from his tombstone

    “The reasonable man adapts himself to the circumstances that surround him…The unreasonable man adapts the surrounding circumstances to himself…All progress depends on the unreasonable man.” –George Bernard Shaw

    “After the final no, there comes a “yes.” And on that “yes,” the future of the world depends.” –Wallace Stevens

    “The Great Spirit doesn’t smile on those who dampen others and take the stars out of happy eyes.” –White Eagle

    “To risk is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To expose feelings is to risk exposing our true self. To place your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk loss. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To try at all is to risk failure. But to risk we must. Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.” –Emerson

14. April

    05 November, 2004, 1:55 pm

    Lace, you always have the best quotes. 🙂

15. paddlepoplion

    05 November, 2004, 10:18 pm

    sorry, but have to disagree with number 20 dave, i have a huge assignment due on wednesday, and this is by far the best method of procrastination.

16. Shamrock

    05 November, 2004, 11:57 pm

    What goes around, comes around . . . and to paraphrase several others here, carpe diem!

17. wantwit

    06 November, 2004, 12:01 am

    A blind possum trapped in your backyard during the day is worth a litter of possum babies in your basement. -WANTWIT

18. Lace Valentine

    06 November, 2004, 3:51 am

    Shucks, April, you sweet thing you… 😆

19. Frisko

    06 November, 2004, 4:08 am

    I have tits, and I have tires. Does that mean I stir fear in the minds of men?

    Frisko

20. Spud

    06 November, 2004, 6:36 am

    I agree with number #20 😕

21. Anna

    08 November, 2004, 3:26 am

    Whatever hits the fan will not be distributed evenly.

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