Davezilla.com

Chats

  • Sleep deprivation

    LIZZ: “That’s it, honey.” [SITTING UP, ROCKING IN BED]
    ME: “What are you doing?”
    LIZZ: “I just… I have to stay awake and…to make sure the baby doesn’t fall asleep on me.”
    ME: “What? I didn’t even hear you get out of bed.”
    LIZZ “Oh. My. God. I am losing my mind.”
    ME: “What?!?”
    LIZZ: “This isn’t even the baby. I’ve been rocking the cat.”

  • Overheard: “Sangrina” edition

    Bartender: “So what did you two do last night?”
    Waitress #1: “We had some sangrinas. They were so good.”
    Bartender: “I’ve heard of those. They’re like margaritas, right?”
    Waitress #2: “No, they’re a wine thing with like fruits and shit.”
    Bartender: “Oh, that’s sound good! What kind of wine is it?”
    Waitress #2: “Dark wine.”
    Waitress #1: “Yeah, dark wine. I dunno, Chardonnay or something.”

    I swear, I lost 10 IQ points listening to that.