Bigfoot’s Diary

03 December, 2009Posted inObservations15 Comments
2 Dec 2009 10 AM: Spent the morning leaving deliberate tracks in the snow near that stupid hunter's cabin. Made sure to leave a clump of rat hair on fence nearby. Took a long dump on his front porch, but decided to scoop it up and smoosh it in his mailbox instead. PUNK'D! Thought it might be funny to remind the park rangers of my existence, so I walked in front of the infra-red wildlife cameras. Here's the trick to wildlife cameras. Listen for the click and release of the shutter. Count carefully, so when you walk in front of…

An Open Letter to All Friend Requests on Facebook

20 December, 2008Posted inObservations13 Comments
Thank you for trying to add me as a friend because you:read my blogsaw me speak at your conferencewant me to fix your computerwant me to link to your blog so you'll be "popular, real fast"are stalking my girlfriendI'd love to reciprocate, however I have a few prerequisites, so bear with me. I will probably NOT add you if……your profile photo is a shitty pencil drawing of yourself that you did one weekend on the beach when you were drunk and "artistically inspired" but actually looks like you are an epileptic Yeti with no feet…you only have one friend and…