Russell? Seriously?

17 August, 2010Posted inObservations6 Comments
Like many of you, I am addicted to HBO's True Blood. Best. Show. Ever. Certainly the best vampire show. How then, did they come up with the bone-headed scheme of naming a 3,000 year-old vampire king Russell? Seriously? Russell means "red" so I can see the meaning, but seriously. A tri-millenial vampire should surely rank a spookier name than Russell. However, since they feel this name is fitting, and from the storyline, it looks pretty certain that King Russ is going to be offed soon, I have some alternate names for the replacement king: Cuthbert Bubba Joe Billy Bob VI…

Things I Learned from Movies: Vampires

06 June, 2009Posted inOriginal Humor21 Comments
They never check a vampire for ID Likewise, no one asks child vampire why they aren't in school The DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) never seems to notice that vampires are about 2,000 years too old to drive. Oh wait, they OWN the DMVs. Vampires exist by hard and fast rules. Once you turn, that's it. Unless you're in love with a good-looking human. Then you can return to the living by being nice. Becoming a vampire isn't like a tattoo where it's there forever. You can opt out. Just kill the lead vampire, and you can go back to…