Tag: French

  • What Your Language Sounds Like To Me

    Possibly the most offensive post I have ever written. But since I am picking on everyone’s language, it’s sort of equal opportunity offensiveness. Enjoy!

    1. Farsi: Like a Spaniard with Downs Syndrome is reciting the German alphabet while eating toast
    2. Welsh: Like a foppish Englishman with a cleft palette is choking on a spider
    3. Vietnamese: I concur with David Sedaris who wrote, “While our language flows from our mouths, the Vietnamese language sounds as if it is being forced from the speaker by a series of heavy and merciless blows to the stomach.”
    4. Hawaiian: Like American toddlers making up nonsense syllables
    5. Albanian: Like Americans poorly imitating Russian gypsies with Whooping Cough
    6. French Canadian: Like really bored Argentinians imitating how Americans sound speaking French
    7. Cajun Patois: Like a Haitian, imitating a Frenchman, imitating a Canadian, imitating an Acadian. Oh wait. That’s kinda what it is.
    8. Michigan: Bugs Bunny

    What do foreign languages sound like to you?