Colds are disgusting. Your eyes look and feel sand-blasted, your nose has lost five layers of epidermis and you are left with the lung capacity of an asthmatic sparrow, but look on the bright side:
- Your boss will encourage you to go home early.
- You can keep ill-tempered coworkers at bay with a mere sneeze.
- No one’s going to sneak in your cubicle and use your phone.
- If you come in looking disheveled, women will take pity on you, rather than scoff at you.
- Other employees will do the heavy lifting for you.
- You get to catch up on all the daytime crap on TV that you’ve been missing.
- A cold won’t keep you from hitting the coffeehouse.
- You can blame any miscommunications on your plugged sinuses.
- You get to pepper your conversation with important-sounding words like antibiotics and gastroesophageal reflux.
- If something goes wrong, you’re really too drugged up to care.
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