So… how do you make women?

1. Penguin Pete

   31 May, 2006, 1:28 am

   Well, since they reproduce by cloning, you obviously only need one sex. However, if you insist:
   UFO+DNA+pruning shears(-:wang:)=woman?

2. Spud

   31 May, 2006, 1:37 am

   Daisy Duke shorts + man = woman

3. Ace

   31 May, 2006, 2:41 am

   Pat Robertson lift a ton? Nah, not even if he had legs the size of tree trunks! Had it been Jack LaLanne I might have believed it. He swam form alcatraz island to fisherman’s warp towing a 1,000 pound boat, and he was 60 years old when he did it! That’ll show Pat!
   But based on some new top secret highly scientific evidence, UFO + DNA = man! And all this time I thought they were made of frogs and snails and puppy dog tails. All lies! Jack can very well be exhibiting super human strength because he isn’t human at all! He might just be from a far off planet named Krypton, and related to a certain Jor-el.
   I can only conclude that women are not made of sugar and and spice and everything nice. I think their formula goes a little sonething like this: UFO + DNA + Macaroon = Woman

4. Ace

   31 May, 2006, 2:47 am

   I should really edit. Sorry guys!

5. Anna

   31 May, 2006, 3:10 am

   Always thought they were from another planet (the planet 👿 👿 :evil:)

6. Master Solace

   31 May, 2006, 3:10 am

   [Comment ID #58232 will be quoted here]

   Who said anything about editing?…it was good

7. Master Solace

   31 May, 2006, 3:15 am

   And 2,000 pounds is impossible. I can do 1,100, but after about 10 reps, I feel like I might need to go to the hospital for a leg amputation…for both of my legs.

   But I’ve always thought that Pat Robertson was full of something…those protein shakes that they talk about at the end of the article might not be completely protein rich…I detect fecal matter…….lots of it

   Don’t hurt me, it’s just my opinion…..

8. Lung the Younger

   31 May, 2006, 3:29 am

   Man + LSD = UFO

9. Bjorn Freeh

   31 May, 2006, 8:02 am

   “Scotty, I need more power.”

   “Ah cannah, Cap’n. It’s just a minivan!”

10. STEBE

    31 May, 2006, 9:04 am

    i think master solace is on to something. this is not about the lifting just a bad case of the grunties. ❓

11. Master Solace

    31 May, 2006, 9:08 am

    [Comment ID #58421 will be quoted here]

    Maybe Scotty should offer him one of Pat’s crap…er…protein shakes….

12. dumas

    31 May, 2006, 9:31 am

    Man – Logic – Emotional Stability = Woman 😈

13. FISH

    31 May, 2006, 9:31 am

    (UFO +DNA) + (:boob: :boob:+ :undies:)(PURE :evil:) = WOMAN

14. Nef

    31 May, 2006, 9:51 am

    MAN + COMMON SENSE = WOMAN

15. Bjorn Freeh

    31 May, 2006, 11:50 am

    I think all the pixels of scorn that Robertson has generated must add up to 2000 pounds by now. So, in a way…

    🙄

16. franklito

    31 May, 2006, 12:41 pm

    control issues + emotional instability + PMS + a need to be crazy + sexual attraction + big tits + nice ass + a dash of ditsy + a cup of bitchiness + beautiful skin + long legs + hypnotic abilities + ability to invade mans dreams + ability to arouse through touch + ability to tear down hopes and dreams + ability to make men fat + uncontrollable need to be center of attention + no hope for ever becoming reasonable + satisfaction out of makin man feel little + pound of clinginess + a gallon of fake tears + ability to make men stare + ability to make man fight + the ever needto change the sports channel to woman network + the power to make men miserable for all time + the ability to never be wrong + the ability to satisfy through sexual acts that over power mans pride and reasoning = my girl

17. Russell

    31 May, 2006, 2:34 pm

    [Comment ID #58477 will be quoted here]

    I think you forgot memory of an Elephant and the power to recall in an instant things you did 20 years ago and remember it like it was yesterday

18. Jeffro

    31 May, 2006, 2:39 pm

    GOD + DNA + sand = Adam – Rib – grapes + 👿 = Woman.
    The aliens just watched.

19. scamper95

    31 May, 2006, 3:16 pm

    [Comment ID #58452 will be quoted here] Wrong formula. Man – commen sense –

    :wang: + nice :boob: :boob: + mans checkbook = women

20. Myra

    31 May, 2006, 3:45 pm

    Pat Robertson is so full of it! This is almost as stupid as his claim that God talks directly to him about tsunamis, etc. The Terminator couldn’t lift 2,000 pounds so an elderly wimpy guy like Pat sure couldn’t do it. Since men are supposed to be from Mars and women from Venus maybe that formula is true for both. I think it’s men – common sense – basic communication skills – thoughtfulness – :wang: – 😈 = women

21. Other April

    31 May, 2006, 4:16 pm

    TMNT + TNA = April O’ Neil, Channel 6 News

22. Esther

    31 May, 2006, 4:53 pm

    Pat Robertson = Self Righteous Pompous Assclown :wang:less Tool

    I think that about covers it.

23. Patrick

    31 May, 2006, 5:34 pm

    rael? Aren’t they the nutjobs (pun intended) who Bobbetized themselves in anticipation of the comet that was going to take them to Heaven? And another group if rael-heads committed mass suicide shortly thereafte?
    Hooray for National Macaroon Day! Any opportunity to eat macaroons is welcomed. Me like macaroons! Macaroons, uuuuhhhhh! Sorry, my Homer Simpson imitation is a little rusty.
    Pat Robertson is full of what the bull left in the barnyard. Just about every time he opens his mouth. What a pathetic dope. God is going to slap him silly when he gets there.

24. Flash Gordon

    31 May, 2006, 6:02 pm

    He might not get there, Patrick! Just hearing that wangy voice chaps
    my cheeks.
    Woman + :wang: :wang: =man. 😕 :kiss:

25. Chicky

    31 May, 2006, 6:17 pm

    [Comment ID #58588 will be quoted here]

    Right on, sister!

26. Bjorn Freeh

    31 May, 2006, 6:29 pm

    The thing about Robertson and his mighty lift that bothers me: Some poor old people are going to believe he actually lifted a ton — clearly a sign from God — and send the bastard the last of the rent money. And he’ll just ask for more.

    That, my friends, it truly 👿

27. Tina Marie

    31 May, 2006, 7:20 pm

    The CBN Web site attributes Robertson’s energy in part to “his age-defying protein shake.”

    Yeah. Uh huh. Sure.

    Look, I’ve heard that Parkinson’s tremor that people get when they’re old called an awful lot of things, but “age defying protein shake” is not one of them. I think Mr. Robertson needs to get real, and maybe get a life, too.

28. Tina Marie

    31 May, 2006, 7:24 pm

    [Comment ID #58588 will be quoted here]

    Perfect! Now why didn’t I think of calling him an assclown? 😆

29. scamper95

    31 May, 2006, 7:41 pm

    [Comment ID #58551 will be quoted here] Yep thats right, and said so well by a woman. Men – everything = woman.

30. Creelock

    31 May, 2006, 9:03 pm

    [Comment ID #58719 will be quoted here]

    Agreed

    [Comment ID #58524 will be quoted here]
    Ditto … and yet you have to admire them .. God Love a good
    Woman 😮 😛

31. Creelock

    31 May, 2006, 9:08 pm

    [Comment ID #58477 will be quoted here]

    Sorry, I missed that as part of the discription of a true master piece of Godly design 🙄

32. Drusky

    31 May, 2006, 9:20 pm

    This formula works for other things, as well…

    :boob: :boob: + :thong: = Hallie Berry

    :java: – (taste) + :puke: = 7-11 coffee

    :java: + (Higher cost than super unleaded gas) = Starbucks

    :boob: :boob: + :wang: = Jaime Lee Curtis

    :boob: :boob: + :thong: + :wang: – (impeachment) = Bill Clinton

    and so on… 😈

33. mikeme

    31 May, 2006, 9:23 pm

    Most televangelists are full of shit, not to mention they never lie unless caught by “nonbelievers”

34. Drusky

    31 May, 2006, 9:29 pm

    [Comment ID #58588 will be quoted here]

    Thanks, Esther, Now I have to, yet again, clean coffee off my monitor and keyboard and remove the cat’s claws from my legs after surprising it with laughter….
    or in formula:

    (Esther’s post) + 😆 + :java: + (keyboard) + (cat claws) = :dead:

35. mikeme

    31 May, 2006, 9:33 pm

    Oh, and I saw a 1,000 foot protien shake in the desert outside of Los Vegas!

36. britt

    31 May, 2006, 9:57 pm

    man- :wang:+ :thong:+ $= Paris Hilton

37. Esther

    01 June, 2006, 12:05 am

    “protein shake” + gym = Ambiguously Gay Robertson

    Dresky, a little Bactine will help with the claw marks. :kiss:

38. Esther

    01 June, 2006, 12:06 am

    Oops, bad speeling. I meant ‘Drusky’. 😳

39. Meagan

    04 June, 2006, 10:48 am

    Well there goes Darwin’s Theory of Evolution…

Comments are closed