Shows I probably won’t see

1. Natalie

   16 October, 2006, 12:08 am

   Well, number 5 would definitely mean Easter was cancelled.

2. nickname4anne

   16 October, 2006, 1:55 am

   okay, 7- that would be interesting-but youre right a waste of actual money….and about #9, are we talking the kind of stories that that guy in fight club found in his basement?-cause those were also amusing(i have no life and am therefore easily amused 🙂

3. cbatdux

   16 October, 2006, 4:24 am

   The Muzak Man starring Barry Manilow
   Tide presents Schindler’s laundry list

4. Lung the Younger

   16 October, 2006, 4:51 am

   Pokemon versus Alien.
   My Left Foot, the Ballet.
   Rabiez, Another CGI Movie about Cute Woodland Animals.
   Unplugged, Terri Schiavo Live. (or rather not)
   JaquesAss, A French Attempt at American Humor.
   I Was A Teenage Adolescent.

5. Gerhard

   16 October, 2006, 7:55 am

   this kinda sucks, im busy writing something very similair to point 2 🙁

   not gonna stop me though 😀

6. mikeB

   16 October, 2006, 8:05 am

   Flush Dance – See an aging Jennifer Beal wiggle her misshapen ass to tired 80s pop songs, culminating in an erotic scene in which Jennifer pulls the loo cord and is flushed away forever.

   My Little Hildalgo Viggo Mortensen rides again across the Arabian Desert in a time-honored race… on cartoon ponies.

   Pickle Surprise! – The Movie! :wtf:

7. Spud

   16 October, 2006, 8:52 am

   George W Bush – Cosiderations and Musings of a Parodox in our time. A one on one encounter with one of the worlds most influential people

   Kim Il Sung – A Tradegy of Human Loneliness and Other Songs 666 Hours of Nothing!

   Wham- Return Concert Tickets On Sale This Friday – $45.97*

8. Nikki

   16 October, 2006, 9:39 am

   #8 can’t be any worse than the Star Wars Holiday Special.

9. Brad K.

   16 October, 2006, 9:49 am

   Well, for #2, there was the ‘Space Herpie’ cameo in the movie ‘Ice Pirates’, a bad science fiction movie from 1984, with Robery Urich and Anjelica Huston.

   I doubt I would watch ‘Mark Foley’s Football Team and Alumni Dating Scene’. Unless you mix in Julie Brown’s ‘Homecoming Queen’s Got A Gun’ (From her ‘Trapped in the Body of a White Girl’ album — Hey I ain’t making this up! This is a classic on the Dr. Demento radio program! Right up there with ‘Dead Puppies aren’t Much Fun’ by Ogden Edsel — which I do *not* want to see the video. Nor the video for ‘The Cockroach that Ate Cincinatti’. Back to Jule Brown — you can see ‘video’s’ for many of the cuts on this album in the Gina Davis movie, ‘Earth Girls Are Easy’, featuring a very young Jim Carrey)
   —

   Hank glowed. He just got The Call. The rural channel wants to feature his prize pig, Arnold (named for the famous Green Acres TV star), for a feature on raising and butchering hogs. Not only would the show show Arnold drinking from the waterer, eating corn off the concrete floor, sleeping in clean straw and wallowing in mud, but also tearing through fences, digging under gates, and getting run over by the tractor. The show would cover cleaning the manure out of the hog house each week, spreading the manure by tractor and manure spreader over the stubble after harvesting the corn crop, and hosing down tools and boots before Mama would let Hank back in the house — and that the coveralls come off outside the door. Hank’s neighbor put up a confinement pig setup, the air is so ‘intense’ inside that just stepping in, a shower is required before going into the house — they put in a separate basement entrance, washing machine and shower to ‘decontaminate’, and food would still taste funny for several hours. Hank still used pastures to raise pigs, and he got a lot better meat quality from the dressed carcass.

   The show would cover loading out a measure of shelled corn, oats, and feed concentrate, running it all through the grinder to mix the coarse-ground results along with a few pounds of Tylan 200 antibiotic as a preventative of pneumonia — getting sick would cost two to four weeks in getting baby pigs to market and butchered. And feeding, both out on the cement floor, and in the Pride-Of-The-Farm 80 bushel feeders.

   The would show the pigs being given iron injections shortly after birth, having their ears notched to track pigs to the sow (if the pigs don’t do well, Mama gets a different call), cut off the tails so they don’t chew each other when they get older, castrate the boar pigs, and how to check the pigs daily, looking for injured or sick animals. Hank wondered if they wanted to film each of the three or four different ways he had used to remove the testicles from the barrows?

   The show would cover Arnold being loaded on a livestock truck (C. W. McCall’s ‘Pig Pen’ in the song ‘Convoy’, “You wanna back off another 5, 10 miles? Those hogs are starting to close up my sinuses!”), hauled to the packing plant, killed, cleaned, skinned, trimmed, and aged, then cut for packaging and distribution.

   And, if they show the program in January, why, we might get the TV antennae back on the roof. It’s only been 5 years since the guys that put it up said ‘we’ll be back’ (it fell down 3 weeks after they put it up the first time). There is lots of room for patience, in farming. It should be an interesting show, except that part where the camera man got agitated, filming the manure being broadcast out the back of the spreader, as the idjit stood right there by the wagon as we went past… Remember, the clohtes come off outside the door, to keep the house clean. Mama has her rules!

10. pablo

    16 October, 2006, 9:55 am

    Cooking with anorexics (the binge & purge hour)
    Make room for Momar
    Butt crack theatre
    WTF on the Discovery channel (ok, I might watch that)
    Bowel movements of the rich & famous
    Live ar the Apollo hosted by Rush Limbaugh
    the CBS nightly news with Pee Wee Herman
    Skank!
    Name that smell
    CSI: cavity search
    Law and Order: Animal regulation

11. cbatdux

    16 October, 2006, 12:22 pm

    [Comment ID #78420 will be quoted here]

    BRAVO!

12. junkman

    16 October, 2006, 1:02 pm

    days of thunder ll: bumpernuts http://www.bumpernuts.com
    steven jesse bernstein: happy & hopeful hour
    desparate housewives: the reality show
    house: 1 hr. of footage of a house
    ernest ainsley’s armor of god pajama party telethon
    bless my wallet: an oral roberts retrospective
    the amazing race!: a new race of people that must run from george w.
    howdy doody special: starring george w. as the irritating puppet
    behind mr. ed: starring george w. as the talking horse’s ass
    prison break: andrew fastow bankrupts texas prison and blames it on cellmate

13. Mandy

    16 October, 2006, 1:02 pm

    I feel like I need Cliff Notes to read Brad K’s comments. :dead:

14. junkman

    16 October, 2006, 1:17 pm

    cliff notes for mandy:

    paragraph 1 & 2: various obscure movie references
    paragraph 3 – 7: hank and his prize pig show – hilarity does not ensue

15. Keith Burgin

    16 October, 2006, 1:48 pm

    What’s Eating Gilbert Gottfried

    Boys on the Side: Mark Foley on Ice.

16. Meagan

    16 October, 2006, 4:40 pm

    I’m actually working on a play about an artist that hallucinates about a doll, a teddy bear and Santa Claus. You’d see that right?

17. Flash Gordon

    16 October, 2006, 4:58 pm

    Dance of the Sugar-Plum Butches.
    Washington’s Wonderful World of Perverts.
    A Fudge-Packer in Washington. :limp: :limp: 😈 👿 :puke:

18. cbatdux

    16 October, 2006, 6:59 pm

    Touch your toes and other great exercises with Mark Foley.

19. Bigwavdave

    17 October, 2006, 1:04 pm

    My Mother The Carbine – Starring John Lee Muhammad & Lee Boyd Malvo

    Let’s Do Some More Speed by Brad K.

20. Drusky

    17 October, 2006, 9:27 pm

    The Final Word by Brad K.
    Sports Illustrated’s Mother Teresa Swimsuit Special
    Inside Gynecology Today with Sandra Bernhardt (from Hudson Hawk… :sad:)
    QVC’s Fashion Hour with Davezilla ( Oh, look. Here’s our next item and it’s all white, too…)
    The remake of “Endless Love” starring Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller
    and When Trailer Park Trash Attack!
    😈

21. Timm

    18 October, 2006, 1:20 am

    “Patton” starring Andy Dick

22. Wayne

    18 October, 2006, 9:29 am

    Herpes! The Musical

    Humm, sounds like a girl i knew once…

    oh and hey pablo are you sure that, Bowel movements of the rich & famous is’nt actually a show on fox?!

23. pablo

    18 October, 2006, 9:19 pm

    Sorry Wayne, it’s actually “Everyday Crap” on Fox.

24. mesmereyes

    19 October, 2006, 1:13 am

    1. Loan (the sequal of Rent)
    2. The Archangel Gabriel Wears Gucci
    3. Memoirs of an Asian Hooker
    4. Harry Potter and His Adventures with his Wand :wang:

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