Risky presents to give your in-laws

1. Nate K

   10 December, 2007, 12:33 am

   The Cosby Show: Season 2

2. rust

   10 December, 2007, 12:45 am

   The complete contents of Davezilla’s camera from Bell’s Brewery Tasting Day.

3. Diesel

   10 December, 2007, 12:49 am

   First, you kidnap the family cat about 3 weeks before Christmas. Then you smother it to death, gut it, and stuff it with potpourri. Then on Christmas morning, just when they’ve given up all hope of ever seeing the cat again, you show up at their door with the cat in your arms, all wrapped up with a festive bow.

   A Christmas miracle!

4. The Manticore

   10 December, 2007, 12:56 am

   CHUCK NORRIS!

   :wang:

   hahahaha

5. AnnieB

   10 December, 2007, 1:42 am

   Do-it-yourself kit for preparing their Last Will & Testament.

   Re-gift the fruitcake you received from them last year.

6. Spud

   10 December, 2007, 3:21 am

   Nose hair pliers, the gift that keeps on giving…

7. Lung the Younger

   10 December, 2007, 6:05 am

   Cough medicine, lithium batteries, starting fluid, rubber tubing and a few pieces of dented lab equipment.

   A member’s invitation to the local swingers club.

   A two-week trekking holiday in the Columbian jungle.

   The sheet music songbook of 50-cent’s entire repertoire.

   Low-hung jeans.

   Just write a song for them on your accordion.

   Some Viagra that you got cheap off that cool internet site.

   “My Other Daughter is Britney Spears” bumper sticker.

8. irishcoffee

   10 December, 2007, 6:40 am

   A breeding pair of Madagasar hissing cockroaches-without a cage…after all, the Christmas budget will only stretch so far, right? :wtf:

9. Bigwavdave

   10 December, 2007, 8:02 am

   “HOW TO”, The Dr. Kevorkian handbook.

10. Jay Laverdure

    10 December, 2007, 8:03 am

    A Lifesize Black-Velvet Painting of your Inlaws as
    Satanic Slasher Clowns-
    Her in a Thong, Him in a Diaper-

    Hold the Lube…

11. TimM

    10 December, 2007, 8:20 am

    A gift certificate to Wild Willie’s Wide World of Porno Emporium.

12. Fleetwood

    10 December, 2007, 8:22 am

    A vacation to Hedo II.

13. Meagan

    10 December, 2007, 9:30 am

    Chains and a leather hood.
    Life-casts of you and your spouse’s genitalia.
    A butt-scratcher.

14. Nicolette

    10 December, 2007, 10:37 am

    😈 Engraved headstones…..with deceased date already inscribed! 😈

15. Brad K.

    10 December, 2007, 10:55 am

    A support book for parents of gays and lesbians.

    His and hers sets of provocative lingerie.

    Announce the surprise return of your first wife, who everyone had thought was dead.

    Announce your 13 year old daughter is interested in business – and will be accompanying you on future business trips.

    A hippopotamus for Christmas. Male. Sexually active.

    A hang glider with ‘Grandma Does It Higher’ painted on.

    A gift certificate for 100 hours of help around the house, from the inmates at the local half-way house.

    A new Sunday dress with tasteful flap in back for a tail.

16. Salmon

    10 December, 2007, 11:29 am

    A kick in the crotch.

    An expired bus pass.

    A broken brick.

    But some worms on a large peice of sticky tape and send it with a card 😛

17. Pablo

    10 December, 2007, 12:33 pm

    You should give them the gift of Grandchildren.

    Put a pretty bow on their heads, ring the doorbell and run like hell without leaving a forwarding address.

18. Nicolette

    10 December, 2007, 1:29 pm

    Ok, the picture that’s with the personal ad decoder is way too interesting. Have they been expecting me?? :wang:

19. StevieC

    10 December, 2007, 1:37 pm

    [Comment ID #220021 will be quoted here]

    No, but I have.

20. Fleetwood

    10 December, 2007, 1:39 pm

    Handcuffs
    Gift certificate to a Tat parlor
    Anal lube
    Audio tape of their daughter having a loud spasmgasm
    A restraining order
    Toliet plunger
    Butt floss
    Used kitty litter
    His and Her Ball Gags
    Pictures of your Nude resort vacation
    A Snoop Dog CD collection
    A Booger Pie
    Glow in the dark condoms
    Gift certificate to a mole removal clinic
    A Larry the Cable Guy nude calendar
    Garlic flavored edible panties
    A book entitled,”E.D.Why it is no BIG Thing”
    Porno DVD entitled.”Fun with Fruit and Veggies”
    Airline tickets to Iraq
    Subscription to Whip Me Bite Me and Make Me Bleed
    Cotton Balls
    Naked Twister Game
    A Box of Depends
    His and Her nipple rings
    A gas card for two bucks
    A can of motor oil
    A tube of Lip Nair
    Bronze baby poop from their grand kids
    A Man Bra
    A bag of goat mulch
    A Econo size bottle of mouth wash
    A framed copy of your sperm count test
    Directions to a food bank
    A bottle of Taco Bell farts

21. Fleetwood

    10 December, 2007, 2:18 pm

    Sorry gang. This topic is one of my favorites.

    A bottle of Febreze…for that old person smell

    A copy of Hustler Mag. with their two daughters featured as the “Girls Next Door”

    A box of dust
    Hundred dollars worth of one cent stamps
    Matching denture cups
    Gay pride T-shirts
    Tickets to a Miami Dolphins football game
    A Michael Vick jersey
    Cat and dog food with a note suggesting they Enjoy!
    Black and white TV
    Sign them up to be featured on Dr. Phil’s episode,”Old Perverts and the People who love them.

22. chainstay

    10 December, 2007, 6:05 pm

    Home made porno movie with you, their daughter or daughters, or son/sons, all of the above, and their dog.

    A gerbil stuffing kit.

    If it is risky you want, after the porno gift give dad a new shotgun and a coupon for three boxes of 00 buck shells. For mom a home taxidermy kit.

23. Fleetwood

    10 December, 2007, 6:53 pm

    Bitch slapping lessons
    Gold grill
    Time share at a creamitorium
    A case of hot snot pockets
    A life time membership to a fat farm
    A Picture Guide to Wild Monkey Sex
    Algae
    An Aussie’s Guide to Getting High By Licking Frogs
    Camel Humping house slippers
    Cold Chili Dogs
    Morning Breath scent perfume
    Hot Pepper eye drops
    Ass flavored candy corn
    A Case of Boone’s Farm Strayberry Hill or Mad Dog 20/20
    Box of butt lint
    Heart worm pills
    Fart Yarn for making old lady shaws

    Well Gang, with all of my postings today on this topic I clearly have Issues.

24. MrStitch

    10 December, 2007, 7:17 pm

    A professionally constructed power point slide show presentation of you banging your mother-in-law.

    Optional – Background music by Buck Cherry….. Crazy Bitch

25. Bigwavdave

    10 December, 2007, 7:58 pm

    Jesus, Fleetwood – I’m LMAO right about now :wtf:

26. Drusky

    10 December, 2007, 8:37 pm

    Well, damn. By the looks of it, we could just send them Fleetwood and get it over with… 😆

    Meagan spanked out:
    “Chains and a leather hood”

    (shaking head) Meagan, Meagan, Meagan… You’re supposed to list gifts for the IN-LAWS, not gifts you’d keep for yourself… 😈

27. misterarthur

    10 December, 2007, 8:44 pm

    Christmas ornaments made of dryer lint.
    Fruitcake. hahahahahaha. There’s a new joke.
    A gIft certificate to Applebee’s.
    All your bills in a box with a fake “I got fired” memo.
    A carbon credit.

28. misterarthur

    10 December, 2007, 8:44 pm

    Christmas ornaments made of dryer lint.
    Fruitcake. hahahahahaha. There’s a new joke.
    A gIft certificate to Applebee’s.
    All your bills in a box with a fake “I got fired” memo.
    A carbon credit.

29. Flash Gordon

    10 December, 2007, 9:01 pm

    A LP album–Zamfir and the haunting strains of the
    pan flute. {meant that to be “an”}.

    Ann Coulter’s used Kotex. :limp: :limp: :puke:

30. AnnieB

    10 December, 2007, 9:19 pm

    [Comment ID #220032 will be quoted here]

    Man, he should’a got the hook about halfway through #20. 😛

    Just teasing you Fleetwood, but I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a rant that longggggggggggggg and passionate before.

    Now if that equates to any other talents you might have, we’d like to hear about them as well. In detail. 😛

31. AnnieB

    10 December, 2007, 9:29 pm

    [Comment ID #220036 will be quoted here]

    I’m sure she probably uses tampons luv, ’cause you know that’s the only action she’s going to be getting down there.

    She must also put one up her butt since the only thing that comes out of her mouth is crap.

32. Fleetwood

    11 December, 2007, 10:12 am

    [Comment ID #220037 will be quoted here]
    I will give you all the details you want and anything else for that matter.

    :wang: :wang:

33. StevieC

    11 December, 2007, 11:46 am

    Re: video of the day. Those people are crazy! Don’t they know that vegetables are for eating or making sex toys out of? I noticed that even an orchestra has no use for broccoli.

34. ItsMeMaven

    12 December, 2007, 5:37 pm

    Hmmm, if I had to pick one gift that was questionable, I’d go for the juggular and say a Jack Hammer Jesus Dildo.

    It’s festive.
    It’s timely.
    It’s useful.

35. Memphisbandman

    12 December, 2007, 9:23 pm

    “Well, damn. By the looks of it, we could just send them Fleetwood and get it over with…”

    That’s the funniest mental picture of them ALL!

    Doorbell rings, Drusky awaits a perplexed couple as he explains that HE is their present from their son-in-law, and he will be spending the holidays with them. As they are feeding and housing him, he will be enlightening them on just, exactly, what their daughter’s husband thinks of them. Now, give me cab fare!

36. Memphisbandman

    12 December, 2007, 9:24 pm

    er, Fleetwood standing on the doorstep, not Drusky.

37. graffix729

    12 December, 2007, 9:58 pm

    Herpes—The gift that keeps on giving

    A Don Stewart “Prosperity Handkerchief” found for free at: donstewarttv.com

38. lanabell91

    12 December, 2007, 10:48 pm

    -Hentai
    -Socks
    -edible underwear
    -Gift card To Hot Topic or Spencers

    😈 😆 😈

39. Drusky

    13 December, 2007, 7:57 pm

    [Comment ID #220131 will be quoted here]

    Thanks, I was wondering what to wear… :wtf:

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