Please solve a debate

Please solve a debate

I say Santa is impaled. Natalie says he’s jumping to his death. Maybe you have a better theory. Please solve this debate.

  1. Vote A for Impalement.
  2. Vote B for Suicide by Jumping
  3. Vote C and give your theory
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  1. Klesko Fan

    I vote C: Santa was visiting his married lover and the spouse came home early. Santa, trying to jump over the rail to his waiting sleigh, got caught in the railing and had to bear the indignity of his reindeer laughing their asses off as they flew away, leaving him stuck for all and sundry to see.

  2. Spud

    I Vote C
    I know this one quite well as I was involved with its inception and development.

    Santa is actually being drawn backwards through the metal railings and will end up in 10 separate slices (like a CT scan); this is why his arms are reaching out imploring any passerby to get up there and save him.

    They killed Santa!

    Those bastards…


  3. Stevie C

    C – take a look at how much you spent on Christmas and you’ll know how badly you got screwed by Santa. He’s now perfectly positioned for payback.

    I saw Mommy Screwing Santa Claus …..

  4. Mayborn

    I like Klenko’s suggestion.

    but I do have soem theories of my own!!

    The picture actually just caught santa as he is mid air. He is infact jumping down to assault an occupant of the house ( choose your prefrence: Child/parent/ hermit) which is just exeting the house. This due to the lack in quality milk and cookies left out on the night to xmas eve. The cookies and milk in question gave daddy x mas the runns making him miss new years eve. The fact that he missed the big day meant he lost his chance to snogg with the cute elf down in accounting who always gets frisky on new years eve. And this calls for some major payback!

  5. Mayborn

    oh and I forgot….. My television tastes oddly enough like samon!

    and september is my favorite! I mean nothing beats a blond holding a sexy fish when you need to satisfy your fish fetish!

  6. Ok your all wrong. 3 Rottweilers in house. No time for cookies, he left the presents and had to go. Ouch the safety kit is in the sleigh.

    (My answer would be kidsafe mother approved. Even though I don’t have any.)

  7. pablo

    C. Nobody knew about Santa’s checkered past. After getting out of the joint it was always hard for Santa to pass by anything with bars without feeling like he should bend over. :wtf:

  8. A. There’s definitley a look of mild impalment suprise on his face.

    Women in waders, eh? i know what to get Guy Ritchie for his birthday.

  9. PoisonGirl

    Chad Vader rocks off my effin socks! 8) Poor Santa!

  10. PoisonGirl

    Chad Vader rocks my effin socks! 8) Poor Santa!

  11. There has to be a huge untapped market for specialized calendars out there. How about:

    Nuns in Neoprene
    Geishas in Galoshes
    Belly Dancers in Y-fronts.
    Grannies in Spandex
    Swedes in Crushed Velvet Burkas
    Coeds in Knickerbockers
    Bored Housewives in Slippers

    The list goes on and on…..

  12. Knkangaroo

    B. Suicide by jumping, after catching Mrs. Claus with ten elves

  13. sledge

    Santa’s about to be caught by 3 pissed off kids who were told that he didn’t have play station 3.The look on his face shoes that he would rather argue with the rotti’s

  14. c: santa’s dropping trou at naughty kids this year instead of giving coal. an eyeful of an old man’s wrinkly gray haired sac will convince any hitler-esque pre-teens to behave. next years punishment? a wink from the Old Man’s brown eye.

  15. Looks like he’s getting RAILED from behind if you ask me.

    Oh, I sleigh myself.

  16. Bjorn Freeh

    C. Two floors up, swimming pool in the courtyard, after eleven Coronas, Santa says “Ah bet ah can zhump that far…” and eight reindeer taunt, “Oh, Santa, you know you can’t fly without us!” :wtf:

  17. C. It is a cartoon Santa, not the real one. This is a sick parody of Santa with gas (cabbage rolls?) blowing past the neighbors chimney. I suspect those misguided, ignorant and emotionally detached sickos that put up this ‘decoration’ were depressed, and intentionally wanted to offend those people in their community that cherish and celebrate Christmas with Santa delivering toys and all.

    That or the dog peed on last year’s decoration, and this was all they could find.

  18. Ray

    Actually, that’s not Santa. It’s Michael Jackson in a Santa suit and he just dropped the baby this time. If you look closely, you’ll notice that he is hanging by his new, surgically-transplanted, prehensile tail in an attempt to lower himself and retrieve the fallen child.

  19. Astryd

    C: At the rate that our children are “maturing” and the tactics that they have learned from their _____ (parents, games, toys, friends, steroids in chicken, etc) their evil little minds are developing quicker than usual. A child that would normally start sprouting evilness at a late teenage age is now in full bloom by the age of 10 possibly even 8 years old. When his Christmas demands were not met the child that resides in this building “showed” Santa the way out…off the roof. (At the time the picture was taken Santa was caught mid-fall. Reports say “a child’s demonic laughter could be heard from the rooftop”) Nailed to the old man’s chest was a stocking with a note in it for the easter bunny, tooth fairy and other holiday icons: “It’s all fun and games until someone turns up dead. Non compliance will NOT be taken lightly!! Who’s in charge of New Year?!?!”

    I suggest doing away with “Spare the rod, Spoil the child.” Brats just need a good beating. 😛

  20. C – Trying to climb down to the sleigh, and got his leg stuck! 😆

  21. family jules

    B. Jumping, but not to his death. Christmas is over now and he is obviously pursuing his own interests, bungee jumping. He is such an adventurous type, he can’t just sit around drinking egg nogg and congratulating himself all year long. The man has a LIFE you know!

  22. Flash Gordon

    C. He was photographed trying out this house’s new trampoline. Some
    yo-yo Republican lives here. 🙄 😛 :wtf: :dead:

  23. Da Popster

    Just like poor Humptiy Dumpty, he didn’t fall, he was pushed. :limp:

  24. Driver

    C. Santa does not exist and parents who tell thier children he does should be FLOGGED ! Anyway this guy looks like he just got the dogs ice cold nose stuck right in his brown eye .

  25. Got to admit, my mind is in the gutter: Ol’ Nick is bent over to give access to the old Hershey Highway. It’s obvious that his girth comes from something going in the back way… I AM SICK! Somebody help me… :puke:

  26. liza

    C. he’s acting out his favorite scene from “mission impossible”

  27. Red Dog

    C… He is being dangled by an invisible Michael Jackson.

  28. I forgot the letters. I vote V and one half. See, he’s moving up, not down. He accidentally inhaled the helium from some balloons he was delivering and now he’s floooooating awaaaaaay.

  29. I say he’s had one too many marshmallows and started floating upward and is trying to hug a tree. 😮

  30. Bi_Angel_of_megalomania

    Well…according to the newspaper…Santa was at first in a 35 years old females bathroom taking a fresh, stinky shit…and then the really charismatic and horny mother busted in and started getting really frisky with him. All of a sudden her husband who just happens to be Michael Jackson comes in and wants in on the action and santa freaks out and jumps off the balcony, landing in some bushes and getting a stick shoved up his ass. It took paramedics about an hour to remove the stick. He is fileing assult charges on wacko jacko and because of this Jackson is spreading malicious rumors that they have had personal contact for the last 2 christmas’s and he didn’t run then. :wang: :wang: :wang:

  31. beyonduplication

    My first impression was that he is jumping… but it could be either. Ponderous. 😕

    Why do you need waders if you’re in a swimsuit? :geek:

  32. C: Santa humping an invisible beach ball.

  33. butterdogfly1

    Must say C. SANTA has been at this party for awhile and has sneaked out to the balcony to expel some of that liquor. Just caught him after his upheaval and is now starting to get up to return to the party like nothing happened at all!
    He’ll be needin some aspirin in the morning! 🙄

  34. MrDoug

    C: Looks like the magic dust ran out at a very inopportune time. This is why you do not mess with the whole space time continuum.

    [Comment ID #82893 will be quoted here]

    You have this backwards I think it should read: Why do you need a swimsuit
    if you’re in waders…

  35. mikeme

    His “HO” kicked him out of the house! 😆

  36. mikeme

    Oh, yea –C

  37. Cara

    I think some 5 year old just got pissed by their present and kicked Santa off th Balcony. Or maybe he just didn’t give Mrs. Claus what she asked for and she kicked him into the dog house.

  38. Astryd,

    About your ‘I suggest doing away with “Spare the rod, Spoil the child.” Brats just need a good beating.’

    Brats really need *discipline*, not a beating. There is a difference. Discipline is ‘the will to complete a task’. Disciplinary action, or a beating, is intended to correct a misdeed and motivate good behavior. Look at Iraq. Beatings and such really seem to be working there, right?

    No, our kids are worse than we are, because our teachers, our parents, and especially our grand parents were on average much wiser about discipline. Kids today are still capable of responding correctly to ‘The Look’, to quiet or even non-verbal corrections or reminders. They haven’t really changed all that much. We just have to many parents that procrastinate learning about parenting, and schools, churches, and communities that are shy about telling parents to begin parenting effectively. Plus, as a nation we have a vanishingly small number of adults that are familiar with working livestock. As any 4-H or FFA leader will tell you, raising livestock is a far more rigorous preparation for parenthood than playing with dolls.

  39. Dragonmaster

    The sleigh is under the other window

  40. Gladia

    C. Santa was definitely pushed, That girls dad told Santa he was going to buy her the bike, so what does Santa do……. 👿 😛

  41. Raz

    ‘C. he’s acting out his favorite scene from “mission impossible” ‘

    I’d say it looks more like his favorite scene from Brokeback Mountain.


  42. Steve

    C. He is definitely just climbing at an odd angle. I always prefer the squashed against the wall Santa though.

  43. Astryd

    [Comment ID #82948 will be quoted here]

    I totally agree…this was suppused to be funny, though, taken lightly not so seriously. The 😛 at the end should have given that off.
    But using your point “parents that procrastinate learning about parenting, and schools, churches, and communities that are shy about telling parents to begin parenting effectively”, strengthens my argument.
    If they don’t learn to use the evil eye ‘the look” or non-verbal/non-physical corrections effectively or efficiently, it is still the parents’ lack of follow through…um…excessive procrastination and society’s shyness that some of our kids are BRATS. Notice I was not generalizing about all children. Only spoiled rotten (again figure of speech) ones that have parents who either don’t have the time or motivation to parent/discipline correctly. (also the blank ______ followed by the examples was only because so many people blame so many things for their child’s misbehavior)
    Anyway, like I said, I agree with you but it was just for fun…an exaggeration of occurances that are actually taking place. But I’m glad to see such passion for a topic such as that from someone who at least seems rational. Thanx. 😆

  44. C: I say Santa was caught leaving something other than coal, so they hung him up by his underwear over the balcony.

  45. Demara

    ummmmmmmmmm C: i think Santa is trying to escape the child (who in the poem twas the night before christmas) caught him bringing presents. So he tried to jump but his fat ass got stuck and he looks constipated because he is trying to squeeze out before the child actually realizes it. 😛 🙄 🙂 santa has a fat ass :thong: lol P.S. i dont believe in him lol

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