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Good advice

By Davezilla 15 November, 2006Uncategorized30 Comments

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But do they accept credit cheese?

By Davezilla 14 November, 2006Uncategorized17 Comments

Some travel hints (in Engrish) from around the world: We will now be serving snakes. [Singapore Airlines] Upon arrival at Kimpo and Kimahie Airport, please Wear your Clothes. [Korean Steel Mill] Toilet Gents (Ladies Also) [Sign in Bangkok] AEROFLOT: Introducing wide boiled aircraft for your comfort. [Ad for a Soviet Airline] Akita to Okinawa. Non-Stop Fright. [Ad for JAS Airline in Japan] Please Stop the Cock Uptight! [Urinal sign in Japan] Invisible service is available for your rest being not disturbed. [Yuanfei Hotel, China] At the cashier's counter, kindly note that personal cheese are not accepted. [Note in the Imperial…

Fashion Tips for the Clueless

By Davezilla 13 November, 2006Observations29 Comments

For the Gents (written by Davezilla) Experimental facial hair will warm the jowls and frighten the fair sex. "Prison-bitch" pants went the way of the Dodo. Take note. There is a fine line between looking ruggedly unshaven and looking like you've spent a weekend bender with Gary Busey. "Manpris" (capris for men) can only be worn by Belgian hairdressers. There is a finite limit to the number of clip-on electronic devices that you can acceptably wear, and that number is zero. For the Ladies (written by Natalie) Only vagabonds and homeless are allowed to wear more than three layers at…

Caption Time #143

By Davezilla 11 November, 2006Caption Time33 Comments

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How to speak in Programmer

By Davezilla 10 November, 2006Observations23 Comments

When they say: "The SMTP mail server may be acting erratically today." They really mean: "Turn me down for a date, will you? See if you get email anymore." When they say: "Is that really a good user experience?" They really mean: "You're cutting into my World of Warcraft time." When they say: "You haven't provided the proper documentation." They really mean: "I've ruined the project. I plan on blaming you. Somehow." When they say: "That's not a feasible timeframe." They really mean: "You're cutting into my World of Warcraft time." When they say: "I like your t-shirt." They really…

Possible new jobs for Donald Rumsfeld

By Davezilla 09 November, 2006Observations27 Comments

President of the Liars Club Hidden Mine Finder New Orleans Levee Inspector Internet's First Spam Editor Toilet Paper Roll Holder for the Iraqi government Anal Toy Tester Barbara Bush's newest lawn ornament Stunt double for Carrot Top Bullshit Taster What jobs do you think he should apply for? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online…

Our next line of defenseâ€¦

By Davezilla 08 November, 2006Uncategorized29 Comments

What I hate when I have a migraine

By Davezilla 07 November, 2006Observations35 Comments

Anyone operating a lawnmower, chainsaw, leafblower, snowblower, weed wacker; anything with a two stroke engine Anyone playing music I dislike Anyone with a brightly lit office Anyone walking loudly on the floor above me Anyone with too much cologne Anyone with garlicky food Anything that barks Anything that sings Anyone that is too perky Anyone who denies me chocolate or coffee (woe be unto them, for there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth) Anyone wearing any color other than black Anyone capable of speech Anyone enjoying themselves in my presence Anything resembling a phone, or capable of ringing, chirping…

Airplane Safety Tips #2

By Davezilla 06 November, 2006Uncategorized17 Comments

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Caption Time #142

By Davezilla 05 November, 2006Caption Time34 Comments

Teef

By Davezilla 04 November, 2006Uncategorized19 Comments

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Notes to Self, No. 6,230-6,232

By Davezilla 03 November, 2006Observations13 Comments

If you think wearing all white will get you mistaken for the Michelin Man, try wearing a white ski jacket downtown No matter how high you turn up the air on the plane, you will not cover up the foot odor of the shoeless professor across the aisle The effectiveness of a child's scream on an airplane is directly proportional to the length of the flight and how much sleep you need viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for…