Davezilla.com

Davezilla’s Dictionary, Part 4

By Davezilla 19 February, 2007Observations25 Comments

Fuckle: v. To really screw something up. Won't get you in trouble to say it. At least not right away.Ex. Darn it all, this Windows Vista sure is fuckled up. Janx: v. Past tense of jinx. Or should be. Ex. I janx that bitch, but good. Pune: adj. Something disgusting. Something that smells bad. (On a side note, how come we can impune, but not pune?) Ex. John's bedroom was so puned out.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for…

Overheard: Thai Restaurant Edition

By Davezilla 18 February, 2007Observations15 Comments

Scene: Natalie and I are eating Thai in what we thought was a private booth. Behind us was a grandmother and her two unruly grandchildren. Grandmother: Mawcus? Mawcus! You've taken in too much food. Spit it out. Spit it out right now, young man. Right here. Spit it out on the table. Marcus: Plplpltew! Granddaughter: Ew! Grandmother: That's bettah. Marcus: Grandma? Who is better? Me or my cousins? Grandmother: No one is better. Marcus: But you said my cousins have better manners. So that makes them better. Grandmother: I nevah said that. I said they had bettah mannuhs. That doesn't…

Caption Time #161

By Davezilla 16 February, 2007Caption Time37 Comments

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Failed Valentines Sentiments

By Davezilla 15 February, 2007Observations20 Comments

These didn't work last year or this year. Don't try them next year. When you said you wanted me to meet your mother, I knew in my heart you were special. Is she up for a three-way, as well? My hulking, little love buffalo. Your hips are like two enormous wetlands, teeming with wildlife. You're like a star. An imploding, White Dwarf star. Your lips are crimson; like the radial blood spatter of a fatal car accident. I love when you make that honking noise in bed. You, my love, are brutish. When I said you had a beautiful body,…

Dear Mistre Dave Zilla

By Davezilla 14 February, 2007Observations40 Comments

Normally I don't reprint email, respecting the privacy of my readers and because I have better things to do. However, when I am specifically requested to reprint said communiqu? by none other than the Sultan of Cleveland, well, what can one do? I give you, unabridged, yesterday's fan mail: Dear Mistre Dave Zilla, I know your real name sin't ZIlla it's Linaburty so I address you by your real name, the name you gave yourself. it is m9ore poewrful than nay amulet . Nay, more powerful than a +3 sword of Enchantrment!!Lissen I love your sight, It cracks me up…

Good to know

By Davezilla 13 February, 2007Uncategorized27 Comments

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Caption Time #160

By Davezilla 12 February, 2007Caption Time26 Comments

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Too soon?

By Davezilla 10 February, 2007Observations23 Comments

Beloved pinup model and pop icon, Anna Nicole Smith dies, suddenly. The identity of her baby's father is left uncertain. The next day, Microsoft's Clippy is declared officially dead. Coincidence, you say? I think not.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra…

Caption Time #159

By Davezilla 08 February, 2007Caption Time35 Comments

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America’s best

By Davezilla 07 February, 2007Uncategorized28 Comments

Overheard

By Davezilla 06 February, 2007Observations36 Comments

Bob: "I see you wear white frequently." Me: "Every day, Bob. We've been through this six or seven times." Bob: "I see you come to Starbucks a lot." Me: "Yes, Bob." Bob: "And I see you wear white frequently." Me: "Thank you, Captain Obvious." Bob: "No, my name is Bob." Me: "Thank you, Captain Bobvious." Please tell me I'm not the only person who has to deal with someone like this. He isn't slow. He's actually rather intelligent, but idolizes me for some reason and won't leave me alone.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work…

Caption Time #158

By Davezilla 05 February, 2007Caption Time50 Comments

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