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  • Expectation vs. Reality

    Expectation vs. Reality

  • It’s Friday

    It's Friday, only 2 more working days until Monday!
    Feel free to share this with others.

  • Slowest drivers on the road

    IMO, slowest drivers on the road own:

    1. PT Cruiser
    2. Chrysler Pacifica
    3. Ford Flex

    Discuss.

  • A Narcoleptic’s Dream Come True

    A Narcoleptic's dream come true

  • My Embarassing Dream Soundtracks

    As I’ve written about before, I remember most of my dreams, which isn’t so bad, but they always have a soundtrack. A bad one. Usually a short section of a song or jingle that repeats throughout the dream like a broken record. Ninety percent of the time, it’s a musical genre I would not listen to, willingly.

    Worse, I wake up with the song replaying in my head. This morning, it was Olivia Newton John’s Xanadu. Here’s some of the more revolting ones from this month.

    • The theme music from HGTV’s Love It or List It
    • Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie
    • Guns and Roses’ Welcome to the Jungle (While not a fan, this is the least miserable)
    • He-Man Masters of the Universe soundtrack (fortunately, the Juno Reactor version, which is actually cool)
    • Almost every Free Credit Report dot com jingle
    • Alanis Morrisette’s Ironic, blecch.
    • Love in an Elevator by Aerosmith. Just couldn’t be a cool Aerosmith song like Sweet Emotion or Back in the Saddle. I hate ‘Elevator’.

    Does this happen to you? Please tell me I’m not the only one experiencing this.

  • More Terrifying Dance Moves from the ’70s

    I should make this a regular Friday feature. I’ve found dozens of these.

  • Unfortunate Names #2

    Would you buy a house from the Hitler Brothers?

    Unfortunate names
    Click for full size image

    From here.

  • People Who Need to Go Far, Far Away

    1. People who hit their brakes inexplicably when nothing is in front of them and they aren’t speeding.
    2. People who use douchebag words like ‘braggadocious’ and ‘YOLO’ in everyday speech.
    3. The inventors of Powerpoint, Jeggings, Crocs and UGGs.
    4. The creators of ‘Call of the Wildman’, ‘Hillbilly Handfishing’ and other white trash train wrecks.
    5. Professionals who say, “Let’s really think out of the box on this one, guys.” As if their coworkers were intentionally coming up with tired ideas because no one reminded them to be innovative.
    6. Honey Boo Boo, although I rather feel bad for this kid. She’ll grow up realizing that she was the laughing stock of the entire world and no one really liked her at all.
    7. People who never wash their hands after using the loo.
    What. The. Fuck. Is. That? Kill it. Kill it with fire!
    What. The. Fuck. Is. That? Kill it. Kill it with fire!

  • So that was the inspiration for the OK Go dogs video

  • What I Learned from Movies XIV: Military Movies

    • Holding up a fist will instantly stop an entire army dead in their tracks.
    • Any time bullets are shot at you in slow motion, you can avoid them (in slow motion) by leaning way back until your spine is almost broken. Hover in this position for several seconds until the bullet-time effect has ended.
    • Make a ‘V’ with your index and middle finger. Now point them at your eyes, then your fellow soldiers’ eyes. This alerts them to use vision instead of their sense of smell to navigate streets and tunnels.
    • The enemy can’t smell lit cigars due to their inferior, foreign senses, so by all means, smoke up!
    • After you’ve used up your clip, you can safely throw your weapon to the ground in favor of a handgun. The army doesn’t mind you throwing away M16s. They have thousands more laying about.
    • Covering oneself in mud will drop the body temperature enough to fool aliens and thermographic registers, but won’t cause hypothermia.

  • Separated at Birth No. 10: Tanning Bed Woman

    Separated at Birth

  • And a Diet Coke please…

    And a Diet Coke please