Bored

My easily attainable 2014 New Years Resolutions

I make resolutions with the bar set really low, so I can attain them. I resolve never to purchase a Perfect Polly™ this year. Or any year. I resolve not to eat my fellow travelers if we're stranded in the Arctic. Expanding on that last one, I resolve not to go anywhere I could possibly fall into a canyon (alone) and be forced to saw off my own hand. I resolve not to defect to a Communist nation. I resolve not to use my spit to hold my daughter's hair in place. I resolve not to punch a Great White…
dirty diapers

Parenting: What no one told me

So I became a father for the first time. At 49. I had pretty much given up the hope of having children, but then it happened. No, don't congratulate me. It was easy. What wasn't easy was sifting through the reams of advice you're given from doctors, family, magazines, blogs, friends and complete strangers—yes the same strangers who feel compelled to feel up your wife's belly like she was a prize Berkshire hog at a county fair. Most of the advice a new parent gets seems to come from well-meaning, but childless adults who are disappointingly often dead right. Other…
Amazon drones to deliver packages

Ready? Package is up… and PULL!

Amazon claims it will use flying robot drones to deliver packages to us in the near future. Sorry, USPS. You've been replaced. Perhaps this is smart thinking on Amazon's part as they plan for a United States that may lose its short-sighted postal service. On the other hand, duck hunters now can have twice the fun blasting the bloody hell out of someone's 50 Shades of Grey novel.

For the Time Being

When people say, "Oh, it's just for the time being," I freak out. We have Time Beings that demand offerings from us? When did this start? Next thing, you'll be telling me the government is being run by Reptile People.