Overheard: Stupidity edition

1. Drusky

   02 September, 2007, 12:54 am

   First Comment!
   You don’t buy coffee here. You MORTGAGE coffee here…

2. J

   02 September, 2007, 2:38 am

   No this is an automotive parts store
   get it right…….

3. StevieC

   02 September, 2007, 8:05 am

   Considering there are e-guides on Ordering at Starbucks, maybe the question should have been “Do you sell normal coffee here?”

4. Spud

   02 September, 2007, 8:38 am

   “Do you sell coffee here?”

   “Certainly sir, and what did sir have in mind? we have double decaff latte white or black, I believe we have some Danish mild roasted just in…”

5. AnnieB

   02 September, 2007, 9:02 am

   No, I’m AnnieB. Serious will be in later. 😛

6. StevieC

   02 September, 2007, 9:15 am

   [Comment ID #199754 will be quoted here]

   Surely, you must be joking!

7. pablo

   02 September, 2007, 9:41 am

   [Comment ID #199755 will be quoted here]

   No, I am Serious. And quit calling me Shirley.

8. Brad K.

   02 September, 2007, 11:10 am

   Yes! We sell coffee, sandwiches, and stale pastries. We are very proud of our ‘Battlestar Galactica’ history. You know, we were started by the original ‘Starbuck’ to share the staff catering table! Lorne Greene would have been right at home in the first Starbucks, if he hadn’t been tits-up at the time!

   Would you prefer the original cup of Folger’s coffee that Starbuck spilled on the set in the middle of taping episode #7? We have cloned the beans used to brew that particular pot of coffee, and have been permitted to duplicate that first expression of Starbuck’s coffee! Don’t let all the fancy varieties and flavors throw you, sir! Many people have come to enjoy many of the different tastes that mean ‘coffee’, but that mountain-grown Folgers was the start of it all. Might I suggest a triple latte double?

9. AnnieB

   02 September, 2007, 11:47 am

   That was just her stage name, her real name is Mary Coffee.

   Coffee?

   No thank you.

10. Flash Gordon

    02 September, 2007, 12:54 pm

    It’s Britney, baby. Hee, hee! :boob: :thong: :thong: :limp: :limp: 🙄

11. Driver

    02 September, 2007, 2:54 pm

    Yes yes we do but due to a recent espresso overdose I’m afraid I’ll have to ask to see your ID and have you sign this liability release form :java: 😛

12. patrick

    02 September, 2007, 5:17 pm

    No, as a matter of fact, we sell everything BUT coffee here. We got CDs, we got scones, we got muffins, we got latte’s, cappucinos, frappacinos mochacinos, hot and cold. But despite the outward appearances we do not sell coffee. Here’s your sing.
    BTW, I am not Sirius, I’m Harry freakin’ Potter!

13. patrick

    02 September, 2007, 5:21 pm

    SIGN, not sing! :limp:

14. Meagan

    02 September, 2007, 6:26 pm

    No, but we do sell brains. 🙄

15. Bjorn Freeh

    02 September, 2007, 6:36 pm

    [Comment ID #199756 will be quoted here]

    I have a friend named Robust… maybe you two should start a catalog store?

16. kennyh2o

    02 September, 2007, 10:49 pm

    what? ?? where you from????

17. Lung the Younger

    03 September, 2007, 3:58 am

    Customer in Starbucks: Do you sell coffee here?
    Barista: No Sir. This is a club for people with green apron fetishes, would you like to be spanked?

18. Lung the Younger

    03 September, 2007, 5:54 am

    I have to be honest here. That’s not the first blonde I’ve heard of who fakes her rapture.

19. mikeB

    03 September, 2007, 8:06 am

    “Yes. We sell coffee. But not to you. You’re too stupid to drink it and will sue us later for spilling a hot liquid on your lap. Now kindly get the fuck out.” 😐

20. junkman

    03 September, 2007, 9:47 am

    “do you sell coffee here?”
    “sure do…may i suggest the money shot?”
    “what’s that?”
    “it’s just a $14 coffee but we put so much whip cream on top that when you put the lid on it, it shoots out the little hole and gives you a pearl necklace.”

21. kennyh2o

    03 September, 2007, 10:40 am

    money shot might be a good seller in some parts of this country, good thought JUNKMAN.

22. Chris S

    03 September, 2007, 11:29 am

    Could be the customer was trying to be funny like those guys that go to McDonalds and order a Whopper. It’s just not that funny though. 😐

    I refuse to go to a Starbucks. The prices are so ridiculous you need a loan to drink :java: there on a regular basis, and I hate hype. Too much hype or mania around something makes me boycott it out of spite. I never had a Crispy Creme until people stopped camping in front of them waiting for them to open and the mania was gone. I think some started closing up for good around then too. 8)

23. Nicolette

    03 September, 2007, 2:17 pm

    :wtf: You know, REGULAR COFFEE……. not the half cafe, whipped cream, 2 bazillion calorie, grande, mocha, java, wtf is this crap in my cup! Nevermind, I’ll have a cup of Earl Grey!

24. Astryd

    04 September, 2007, 11:14 am

    My ‘well-to-do’ cousin takes me to starbucks to have a cup of coffee then gets upset when I order tea instead.
    I tell her, for that much I’m gonna drink something I actually want at 6 o’clock in the afternoon.

    I’m a lightweight, after two cups and no breakfast I begin trembling and can’t sit still. That’s why I don’t do drugs, the legal stuff is too hard-core for me already…

25. officeratt

    04 September, 2007, 10:46 pm

    [Comment ID #199756 will be quoted here]

26. Pablo

    05 September, 2007, 6:03 pm

    [Comment ID #199985 will be quoted here]

    Good come back! I stand in awe. Let me bask in your golden prose. Permit me to indulge in your incomprable ability to paint pictures with words. I feel as if transported to another world where only you can describe it’s beauty.

    Now in the real world let us discuss irony & sarcasm.

27. officeratt

    12 September, 2007, 8:43 pm

    Sarcasm is all we Zilla folks know…. 😮

28. StevieC

    13 September, 2007, 7:40 am

    [Comment ID #200734 will be quoted here]

    That, and a few naughty words. 😈

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