As has been the custom on this site since 1994, I am posting my New Years Resolutions. I try to make mine easily attainable so I don’t get down on myself midway through the year.
- I resolve not to accept a Sloppy Joe from a Maori Cannibal
- I resolve not to incite our distant cousins—the Langurs—into an all-out revolt against their human overlords
- I resolve not to invent a beer called Stupid Douchebags Enjoying Time Off With Their Relatives
- I resolve not to watch any shows starring Howie Mandel, Rachel Ray or Abe Vigoda
- I resolve not to dress and act like a Drum Major in front of potential clients
- I resolve not to get a Tay Zonday tattoo
- I resolve not to dress like my pets
- I resolve not to grow vestigial limbs on my body
- I resolve to post more often in 2009 (for reals)
- What are your New Years Resolutions?
Comments
23 responses to “2009 New Years Resolutions”
I resolve not to kill myself until I make sure I’m absolutely the fat ugly loser people think I am
I resolve to be a badder me. 😈
I resolve to walk around naked more often. :boob: :boob:
I resolve to read Davezilla more often, check my emails, and not bitch slap stupid people who really irritate me or cut me off in traffic. 😆
I resolve to try to stay out of the funny farm where everything is beautiful.
I also resolve to try not to provoke AnnieB about her menagerie of relatives; hey, babe,
it’s 8:15 EST, are you well on the way to being wasted yet?. Happy frigging
New Year ! :wang: :kiss: :love: :dead: :wtf:
I resolve not to resolve, therefore putting no pressure on, nor disappointing myself. 😛
I resolve to NOT expect REAl change in 2009…the campaign is over…reality bites! :troll:
I resolve to find better carpet cleaner then resolve
I resolve not to slap the taste out of the mouths of people who prove their ignorance by trying to look important in the Starbucks line.
I will absolutely dress my pets in the most silliest of clothes, but dress my kids in sturdy, well made outfits that do not match in any way shape or form.
I resolve to waste half my life on the internet, then the other half actually talking to REAL people who exist…. not just in my head.
I will become a big deal on the internet….. and not for showing my boobs. That’s too easy. :boob: :boob:
I resolve to keep a g/f this year. I love the sausage… but sometimes you just need some taco,…….. ya know??
I resolve to continue to hold the goddesses of Zillaland in high regard.
[quote comment=”593076″]I resolve to keep a g/f this year. I love the sausage… but sometimes you just need some taco,…….. ya know??[/quote]
I agree. But we need photographic evidence. 😈
What do you have against Abe Vigoda? The man is an icon; nay, he is like a god! Right up there with Chuck Norris!
I resolve to point out other perople’s flaws so that they may better themselves.
I make no promises.
I may blow something up.
I may not.
I urge politicians to donate a nuclear warhead to every person who would like one.
I may dig a large bunker.
I may not.
I may get a clue this year.
I may not.
:geek:
I resolve to encourage everyone to give up their silly new year resolutions for Lent.
[quote comment=”593676″]I resolve to encourage everyone to give up their silly new year resolutions for Lent.[/quote]
lol, I am with you on this one…if all else fails…claim that you were saving it for Lent. 😉
In light of everythng. I resolve to just make it to 2010!!!!!! (Hope to see you all there ;-)!!!!
[quote comment=”593286″][quote comment=”593076″]I resolve to keep a g/f this year. I love the sausage… but sometimes you just need some taco,…….. ya know??[/quote]
I agree. But we need photographic evidence. :twisted:[/quote]
Did Dave really say he likes the sausage too? Hummm… :gay:
Typo: It’s suposed to be the “pornographic evidence”. 😛
Sorry Dave couldn’t let that one go. It’s done out of love.
I resolve to resolve .
[quote comment=”593679″]
Did Dave really say he likes the sausage too? Hummm… :gay:
[/quote]
No, I agreed that Nicolette should have a G/F and provide us with evidence. 😈
I resolve to continue to require being dragged kicking and screaming further into socially acceptable adulthood.
Also to give up Lent.
I resolve to be okay with Meagan walking around nude more often. I think we’ll need photographic/pornographic evidence so we can help boost her morale and self-esteem.
I resolve to be VERY OKAY with Nicolette keeping a g/f because, yes I do know that sometimes we just need some taco. And, sweetie, unlike Dave, I’m not going to insist that we have photographic evidence. I will be quite content with lurid lusty details penned by your magnificent self. I’ll let my imagination do the rest and just say thanks.
[quote comment=”592865″]I resolve to try to stay out of the funny farm where everything is beautiful.
I also resolve to try not to provoke AnnieB about her menagerie of relatives; hey, babe,
it’s 8:15 EST, are you well on the way to being wasted yet?. Happy frigging
New Year ! :wang: :kiss: :love: :dead: :wtf:[/quote]
Since you resolved to quit irritating me last year Flash I don’t give much credence to this year’s resolution but I appreciate the renewed effort nonetheless.
Hey and HNY back at you babe! :kiss: :love:
:wtf: I’m curious though why you’d WANT to stay out of the funny farm if everything is beautiful there…
BTW, how are you feeling? Back to your (ab)normal self, I hope! 😛
i need more sex :limp: :knickers: :kiss: :wang: 😉
Funny resolutions!