OMG, an eagle!

C.C.: [Points out car window] “Oh look! An eagle! OMG, it’s totally an eagle!”
Me: “Um, that’s not an eagle. That’s just a crow with a piece of bread in its mouth.”
C.C.: “Uh, huh. You’re right. OK. This does not leave this car.”
Me: “The hell it doesn’t.”
T.T.: “And to think, we get to see it eating its natural prey—bread.”
C.C.: “All right. Enough.”
Me: “You know, eagles developed their keen vision so they could spot wild herds of bread from a mile in the air. Then they swoop down and snatch one before it escapes.”
C.C.: “Enough!”
T.T.: “Bread can be quite wily, I hear.”
Me: “Indeed. Very wily.”
C.C.: “Fuckers.”

Overheard: People are fuh-reaks edition

GIRL 1: “Um, I got him a tie, a video game and his-and-hers buttplugs.”
GIRL 2: ‘OMG! I bought Mike the same things!”

[From Natalie, overheard on the subway:] MAN: “Don’t those blow-up dolls come with orifices and shit?”

PERSON IN DELI: “Is this milk? It says it is. Is it?”

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