- “Mary no longer sleeps with me. She’s taken to spending her evenings staring out the front window, or curling up in the bath tub.”
- “I don’t know where Michelle goes every night. She begs to out out and comes back late, covered in burrs, and mud.”
- “Every time Antonio gets upset, he shits on the bed. He’s nearly 18 years old and he’s still doing it.”
- “Jessica refuses to take a bath. I have to hold her down in the backyard to hose her down. Sometimes I have to get some of the neighbors to hold her still.”
- “It’s so embarrassing. Whenever my sister comes over, Jeremy starts humping her leg and licking his balls.”
- “I used to love my evening talks with Helen. Lately, she hides in the basement, killing and eating spiders.”
- “Miguel hides under the bed, whimpering, every time he hears thunderstorms or fireworks.”
- “Our four-year-old, Mindy, loves to watch us having sex. She sits on the edge of the bed, staring and clearly excited.”
- “An expert told me if I gave Mitch pineapple with his supper, he’d stop eating his own vomit, but so far, nothing has worked.”
- “Cassandra hates all my friends, except for Charles. Whenever he comes over she’s suddenly social and rubs her ass against him. Sometimes she drops rat heads at his feet.”
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