Davezilla.com

Tag: fish

  • My fish hate me

    Every morning, my fish stare at me, blankly. I always wonder if they are hungry or don’t like what I’m wearing.

  • What a fish in an aquarium is thinking

    Ohhhhh geez. What’s with the florescent light, buddy? I would kill for some eyelids right about now.

    [swims a bit]

    Christ on a crutch. Dere’s dat damn Pufferfish again. Swimming by my filter tube! Don’t he know that’s my turf? I better shows him who’s boss around here.

    [swims up]

    Hey! Yo, Puffie! Yeah, you. Get yer no good, bloated belly-havin’ prickly-ass outta my turf!
    What? Oh is dat a fact? Listen pal. I been in dis tank since you was a fry. I remember the day dey dropped your bag in the tank. Dere goes the neighborhood I says. We all knew you was gonna be trouble. And look at you. You’re fat. You gots prickles all overs ya. You gots buggy eyes and a tiny dorsal fin. And you knows what the ladies say about fish with small dorsal fins. BWAHAHAHAH!

    What? No, I’m a clownfish pal, get it straight. See dat anemone back dere? Dat’s mine. Go ahead. Touch it. The poison will kill ya. Whaddya mean, you gots stronger poison? In your scales? What the? Your cousin killed a Japanese guy? Serves him right for eatin’ him! BWAHAHAHAHAH! No offense pal, but I can’t sees why anybody would wants to eat ya. Yer uh, how do I put dis delicately? FUGLY!