How to Speak Waiter
"I made this drink special for you. It has a unique, subtle flavor.""I've added a toxic cleaning chemical to poison you. Can you guess what it is before the EMT arrives?" "May I take this out of your way?""You selfish bastard. You're taking up a table for four by yourself during our dinner rush. I will continue to remove things until it soaks through your proto-hominid skull that you're not wanted." "How is everything tasting?""I don't give a shit how my service is, so I won't ask you about it." "Small, medium or large?""Just choose the large, fat-ass." "Would you…
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