Is it just me, or does anyone else wish that stupid Aflac duck died from his injuries? I hate those commercials!
Blog
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It’s a Pee Cake
Saw this at IKEA today
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Pet Translation
I just realized that telling my dogs and cats, “I’m going out; be good” is translated in their minds as, “I’ll be gone long enough for you to hide the evidence of whatever you’re planning on destroying.”
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What Kind of Music Do I Like?
Over the years, I’ve realized that my musical taste boils down to one element that’s proven remarkably accurate: If the singer or musician’s name is “Kenny”, there is a 99% chance I won’t like it.
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The Best Children’s Song Ever. By Me.
I have absolutely no memory of any children’s song lyrics. I don’t think I ever knew (or cared) what they were when I was a child and now that I am a father, I am resorting to making up lyrics to sing to my girl. I hope I don’t screw her up too badly with my version of Hush, Little Baby:
Hush little baby, don’t smack a nerd,
Papa’s gonna buy you an odd-shaped bird.If that odd-shaped bird don’t sing,
Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring (I remembered this part!)If that diamond ring don’t shine,
Papa’s gonna buy you a porcupine.If that porcupine don’t swim,
Papa’s gonna buy you a cat named Jim.If that cat named Jim don’t fly,
Papa’s gonna buy you a marble pie.If that marble pie don’t speak,
Papa’s gonna buy you a homeless freak… etc.Feel free to add new lyrics for this song so it never ends.
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Is gravity increasing? Or is the photographer shrinking?
Seems to happen every time women cram together for a photo.
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