Recent Effluvia:

  • Hospital Fun

    Naughty Nurse

    1. Ask your nurse for some apple juice. Pour it into a urine specimen jar. Nonchalantly walk down the aisles, sipping it.
    2. After an operation on [some body part], wake up from the anesthesia and ask, “So how is my [unrelated body part]?”
    3. Schedule gurney races down the hallways of ER. Try to beat EMTs with critical patients. Bonus points for having racing stripes, flames or real exhaust.
    4. Ask the nurse for a cocktail umbrella and fruit for your urine sample. You know, to make it look Klassy.
    5. When you wake up from anesthesia, pretend to speak a different language. Look at everyone as evil foreigners.
    6. Scream down the hallways that “They’ve taken my liver! I went to a party and woke up here, with no liver.”
    7. If the nurse gives you a choice for lunch, ask if they have Soylent Green.
  • Stop it Bennie. I can’t breathe.

    Some days my pug’s gas is both lethal and plentiful. If I don’t finish this post, you’ll kn

  • I finally refreshed the look a bit. Yes, it’s the default Twenty Thirteen theme (with an original photo for the header), but the site needed a kick in the butt. I plan on updating the color scheme when I get time. Next month.

  • Fuck the duck

    Is it just me, or does anyone else wish that stupid Aflac duck died from his injuries? I hate those commercials!

  • It’s a Pee Cake

    Saw this at IKEA today

    20130803-181849.jpg

  • Pet Translation

    I just realized that telling my dogs and cats, “I’m going out; be good” is translated in their minds as, “I’ll be gone long enough for you to hide the evidence of whatever you’re planning on destroying.”

  • What Kind of Music Do I Like?

    Over the years, I’ve realized that my musical taste boils down to one element that’s proven remarkably accurate: If the singer or musician’s name is “Kenny”, there is a 99% chance I won’t like it.

    Kennys

Swiggety-Swag

I make things. People buy them.

Tarot of the Unexplained

USD $22.95

  • The first tarot deck to include cryptids, the paranormal, portals, and Forteana.
  • Silver, gilded-edge 30 gsm cards
  • Includes a 96-page full-color book

Magical AI Grimoire

USD $22.95

  • 288 page grimoire chronicling the magical community’s adoption of tech and AI
  • Learn how to use AI for spells from multiple magical systems point of view
  • Forward by Peter J. Carroll