Recent Effluvia:

Instagram makes my house look haunted

01 November, 2013
What the what?

I’m not sure what jungle Katy Perry’s “Roar” video was shot in, but it seems to have South African Elephants, Egyptian Baboons, Central American Capuchin Monkeys and Indian Bengal Tigers.

31 October, 2013
Hospital Fun
1. Ask your nurse for some apple juice. Pour it into a urine specimen jar. Nonchalantly walk down the aisles, sipping it.
2. After an operation on [some body part], wake up from the anesthesia and ask, “So how is my [unrelated body part]?”
3. Schedule gurney races down the hallways of ER. Try to beat EMTs with critical patients. Bonus points for having racing stripes, flames or real exhaust.
4. Ask the nurse for a cocktail umbrella and fruit for your urine sample. You know, to make it look Klassy.
5. When you wake up from anesthesia, pretend to speak a different language. Look at everyone as evil foreigners.
6. Scream down the hallways that “They’ve taken my liver! I went to a party and woke up here, with no liver.”
7. If the nurse gives you a choice for lunch, ask if they have Soylent Green.
30 October, 2013
Stop it Bennie. I can’t breathe.

Some days my pug’s gas is both lethal and plentiful. If I don’t finish this post, you’ll kn

30 October, 2013
I finally refreshed the look a bit. Yes, it’s the default Twenty Thirteen theme (with an original photo for the header), but the site needed a kick in the butt. I plan on updating the color scheme when I get time. Next month.

30 October, 2013
You’re Next…

30 October, 2013
Fuck the duck

Is it just me, or does anyone else wish that stupid Aflac duck died from his injuries? I hate those commercials!

30 October, 2013
Pretty much sums up Michigan

29 October, 2013
A taste of … what?

23 August, 2013
It’s a Pee Cake

Saw this at IKEA today

03 August, 2013
Sunset Fail

01 August, 2013
Pet Translation

I just realized that telling my dogs and cats, “I’m going out; be good” is translated in their minds as, “I’ll be gone long enough for you to hide the evidence of whatever you’re planning on destroying.”

22 May, 2013