Some days my pug’s gas is both lethal and plentiful. If I don’t finish this post, you’ll kn
Recent Effluvia:
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I finally refreshed the look a bit. Yes, it’s the default Twenty Thirteen theme (with an original photo for the header), but the site needed a kick in the butt. I plan on updating the color scheme when I get time. Next month.
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Fuck the duck
Is it just me, or does anyone else wish that stupid Aflac duck died from his injuries? I hate those commercials!
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It’s a Pee Cake
Saw this at IKEA today
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Pet Translation
I just realized that telling my dogs and cats, “I’m going out; be good” is translated in their minds as, “I’ll be gone long enough for you to hide the evidence of whatever you’re planning on destroying.”
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The Best Children’s Song Ever. By Me.
I have absolutely no memory of any children’s song lyrics. I don’t think I ever knew (or cared) what they were when I was a child and now that I am a father, I am resorting to making up lyrics to sing to my girl. I hope I don’t screw her up too badly with my version of Hush, Little Baby:
Hush little baby, don’t smack a nerd,
Papa’s gonna buy you an odd-shaped bird.If that odd-shaped bird don’t sing,
Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring (I remembered this part!)If that diamond ring don’t shine,
Papa’s gonna buy you a porcupine.If that porcupine don’t swim,
Papa’s gonna buy you a cat named Jim.If that cat named Jim don’t fly,
Papa’s gonna buy you a marble pie.If that marble pie don’t speak,
Papa’s gonna buy you a homeless freak… etc.Feel free to add new lyrics for this song so it never ends.
Swiggety-Swag
I make things. People buy them.
Tarot of the Unexplained
USD $22.95
- The first tarot deck to include cryptids, the paranormal, portals, and Forteana.
- Silver, gilded-edge 30 gsm cards
- Includes a 96-page full-color book
Magical AI Grimoire
USD $22.95
- 288 page grimoire chronicling the magical community’s adoption of tech and AI
- Learn how to use AI for spells from multiple magical systems point of view
- Forward by Peter J. Carroll
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