- Ask your nurse for some apple juice. Pour it into a urine specimen jar. Nonchalantly walk down the aisles, sipping it.
- After an operation on [some body part], wake up from the anesthesia and ask, “So how is my [unrelated body part]?”
- Schedule gurney races down the hallways of ER. Try to beat EMTs with critical patients. Bonus points for having racing stripes, flames or real exhaust.
- Ask the nurse for a cocktail umbrella and fruit for your urine sample. You know, to make it look Klassy.
- When you wake up from anesthesia, pretend to speak a different language. Look at everyone as evil foreigners.
- Scream down the hallways that “They’ve taken my liver! I went to a party and woke up here, with no liver.”
- If the nurse gives you a choice for lunch, ask if they have Soylent Green.
Recent Effluvia:
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Hospital Fun
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Stop it Bennie. I can’t breathe.
Some days my pug’s gas is both lethal and plentiful. If I don’t finish this post, you’ll kn
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I finally refreshed the look a bit. Yes, it’s the default Twenty Thirteen theme (with an original photo for the header), but the site needed a kick in the butt. I plan on updating the color scheme when I get time. Next month.
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Fuck the duck
Is it just me, or does anyone else wish that stupid Aflac duck died from his injuries? I hate those commercials!
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It’s a Pee Cake
Saw this at IKEA today
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Pet Translation
I just realized that telling my dogs and cats, “I’m going out; be good” is translated in their minds as, “I’ll be gone long enough for you to hide the evidence of whatever you’re planning on destroying.”
Swiggety-Swag
I make things. People buy them.
Tarot of the Unexplained
USD $22.95
- The first tarot deck to include cryptids, the paranormal, portals, and Forteana.
- Silver, gilded-edge 30 gsm cards
- Includes a 96-page full-color book
Magical AI Grimoire
USD $22.95
- 288 page grimoire chronicling the magical community’s adoption of tech and AI
- Learn how to use AI for spells from multiple magical systems point of view
- Forward by Peter J. Carroll
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