Caption Time #212

1. javajunki

   13 December, 2007, 1:21 am

   :?:the 40yr old virgin:
   taking new girlfriend to meet “Dad”
   ok, the 44yr virgin….

2. Echo117

   13 December, 2007, 1:25 am

   As his mother and uncle/father look on, little jimmy finally realized why he was different when he managed to scare off every single person at the forest preserve with only a friendly wave of a furry, 4 fingered hand

3. estalene

   13 December, 2007, 3:13 am

   Daddy, there you are ………..

4. Nicolette

   13 December, 2007, 5:42 am

   :wtf: Who the hell fucked that guy up with the ugly stick?!? :wtf:

5. StevieC

   13 December, 2007, 5:43 am

   Family “Slap A Bum” Day at the park.

6. Jay Laverdure

   13 December, 2007, 6:51 am

   “After falling in and getting stuck at my job cleaning out Portapotties, I thought I’d be late for the family
   picnic- but, no, I had time to stop home and pick up
   a clean shirt… What’s that? What’s on my face?
   (Sh-i-i-t..!)

7. junkman

   13 December, 2007, 7:14 am

   ivan takes rena to see the incredible dancing retard with the half-chewed caramel head. :geek: :geek: :geek:

8. patrick

   13 December, 2007, 8:10 am

   Oooh, you managed to snap a picture of a retard in full grand mal seizure. Oooh. Kinda like kicking puppies, isn’t it? I mean, sure you can do it but where’s the satisfaction? Where’s the challenge?
   Just kidding! Looks like he took a shot from that soccer ball right upside his melon.

9. Spud

   13 December, 2007, 8:40 am

   I saw this on the news, he’s actually just been hit in the face with a flying squirrel that was knocked out of its tree by a hard kicked soccer ball.

   Actually it was pretty bad and yet funny at the same time as the squirrel left a skid mark on this poor guys face as it hit him and glanced off, he suffered a broken jaw and a dislocated eye from the incident, National Parks & Wildlife are investigating the animal cruelty claims by the bemused onlookers.

10. junkman

    13 December, 2007, 8:44 am

    too bad his glasses didn’t break.

11. Fleetwood

    13 December, 2007, 8:56 am

    Uncle Bubba I told you not to use so much starter fluid on the charcoal. :wtf:

12. Brooklyn R.

    13 December, 2007, 8:57 am

    Old gray mare she ain’t what she used to be… :undies:

13. StevieC

    13 December, 2007, 9:11 am

    Squirrels wear glasses?? :wtf:

14. AnnieB

    13 December, 2007, 9:24 am

    Junkman, you think he’s demonstrating his masturbating technique? Shouldn’t we alert Mitt? 😛

15. junkman

    13 December, 2007, 9:47 am

    there may be some tampering of the factory going on that mitt should be made aware of. if he had been wearing the magic mitt suit under his clothing in the first place he never would have been borked by skiddy the squirrel. 🙄 🙄 🙄

16. Meagan

    13 December, 2007, 10:09 am

    “You got something on your face.”
    “Over here?”
    “No, all over.”

17. Fleetwood

    13 December, 2007, 10:11 am

    Someone should punch the Little Lad guy in the face.

18. junkman

    13 December, 2007, 10:14 am

    no. if he had been, he would have had the foresight to veer off and avoid getting the shit knocked out of him on the side of a retards head. 😐

19. Meagan

    13 December, 2007, 10:14 am

    It actually looks like that guy is trying to do the Little Lad Dance.

20. Flash Gordon

    13 December, 2007, 11:42 am

    Damn them squirelz! 👿 👿 😈 :wtf:

21. Ronica

    13 December, 2007, 1:27 pm

    Do the humpy hump, shaking and twitchin’ kinda like he was smoking

    Need I say more….

22. Astryd

    13 December, 2007, 1:55 pm

    New and improved PUNCH-OUT!!
    More life like animation!!!

23. StevieC

    13 December, 2007, 3:24 pm

    (with apologies to Boris Pickett)

    – He did the Trance
    He did the Zombie Trance
    – The Zombie Trance
    It was a graveyard dance
    – He did the trance
    It caught on in a glance
    – He did the trance
    He did the Zombie Trance

24. Flash Gordon

    13 December, 2007, 5:32 pm

    I believe the blue-shirted dude is AnnieB’s demented
    Uncle Roscoe. :kiss: :wang: 😐

25. Fleetwood

    13 December, 2007, 5:50 pm

    This is one of the few topics that we have not turned into some kind of fun, twisted, sexual conversation. Maybe Dave will have a picture tomorrow with boobs,(the ZillaGirl kind not the one depicted today).

26. Astryd

    13 December, 2007, 6:17 pm

    Mistress darla can be lots o’fun 😈 but piss her off and… 👿

27. Spud

    13 December, 2007, 6:20 pm

    Give it some time Fleetwood, all things come to those who wait.

    Junkman – the rodent was wearing goggles, you know, like the flying rat in Rocky & Bullwinkle.

    😛

28. Spud

    13 December, 2007, 6:48 pm

    E wha la!

29. AnnieB

    13 December, 2007, 7:18 pm

    Rocky was a squirrel goofball. But they both taste like chicken. 😛

30. Fleetwood

    13 December, 2007, 7:32 pm

    I bet in your case, you are neither! You taste like…

31. StevieC

    13 December, 2007, 7:44 pm

    ‘Nuff said

32. pablo

    13 December, 2007, 7:45 pm

    Some guy got bitch slapped with a squirrel and I got nothin’

    Oh sad day

33. Supercharged_goddess

    13 December, 2007, 8:13 pm

    Is that a 40 yr old K-fed? :limp: :puke: :limp: :puke:

34. Fleetwood

    13 December, 2007, 8:21 pm

    Great avatar..on this site you have to expect the following comment…nice pussy!

35. Fleetwood

    13 December, 2007, 8:45 pm

    BTW the kitty is where we all want to be for Christmas Eve, New Years Eve…hell all of the time.
    :boob: :boob: :wang: :boob: :boob:

36. Meagan

    13 December, 2007, 9:04 pm

    That’s what he gets for being disobedient. 👿

37. Marcus

    13 December, 2007, 9:09 pm

    Someone please photoshope me.

38. Fleetwood

    13 December, 2007, 9:14 pm

    Hi Boss. Glad you joined the site. No sorry, my mistake..you are my last X-wifes attorney. So FU

39. Bear

    13 December, 2007, 9:29 pm

    I don’t know, but I think that sure looks a lot like George Bush on holiday…oh yeah The Decider…ROFL

40. Fleetwood

    13 December, 2007, 9:50 pm

    Good on ya..I agree..The Decider..What a Dumb Ass.

41. StevieC

    13 December, 2007, 9:51 pm

    Here kitty, kitty, kitty …. 😈 :wang:

42. junkman

    14 December, 2007, 10:21 am

    can someone please photoshope me too? it has been so long since i have been photoshoped. i wanted to do some x-mas photoshoping but have not had a chance to get to the shopes. i wa shoping to have it done much earlier this year. once again this prove shope is chocolate covered shite. seems appealing at first til you hit that soft center. :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

43. Nicolette

    14 December, 2007, 10:24 am

    Hay all. Dave’s Facebook says he’s taking the day off to go Xmas shopping. What do you think he’s getting us? Restraints? Whipped cream? 😈

44. junkman

    14 December, 2007, 10:41 am

    here’ shoping his shoping goes well!

45. Fleetwood

    14 December, 2007, 10:59 am

    We can only hope!

46. junkman

    14 December, 2007, 11:33 am

    here is my new avatar for dinkmas. what do you dink?

47. Fleetwood

    14 December, 2007, 2:17 pm

    Since there will not be anything new to comment on today, how about a ZillaGirl dirty comment contest?
    :boob: :wang: :boob:

48. Astryd

    14 December, 2007, 3:41 pm

    …instead of whips and chains she’ll use branding irons and blades. Hmm…Mistress Darla, am I on your naughty list? If I am, would you please use the blades?

49. Astryd

    14 December, 2007, 3:50 pm

    :wtf: I typed up a story for you all but every time I try to post it I get this message-
    [406]Not AcceptableYour request has triggered our security filtering system.

    I’ll send it to Dave. Maybe it’s too long or has subliminal messages and the government is trying to prevent my releasing them to all of you? 🙄
    Maybe Dave can look at it and tell me what’s wrong or post it himself? 😛

    Sorry, I tried… ❓

50. Mandy

    14 December, 2007, 4:16 pm

    how about “uncle binky shows off his misunderstanding of the dirty sanchez.”

51. Davezilla

    14 December, 2007, 4:25 pm

    Wow, what are you typing? I don’t see anything held in the spam queue. Are you writing a story about casinos that hand out Viagra? 😛

52. Astryd

    14 December, 2007, 4:46 pm

    No. 🙁
    It’s one of MY stories. :wang: :undies: :boob: :boob:
    I sent it to you via Contact Davezilla above.

53. Davezilla

    14 December, 2007, 4:53 pm

    Never got it. 😐 Can you email it to me?

54. Astryd

    14 December, 2007, 5:00 pm

    Done.

55. Astryd

    14 December, 2007, 5:11 pm

    She walks towards me with purpose after selecting a slender double edged sinuous dagger, a keris, from many that had been meticulously layed out on a black velvet covered tabletop. Her presence demanding and assertive. The glimmer of her eyes mirrors that of the keris’ serpentine blade.

    I lay on this cold metal slab, void of comfort, punishment for my crimes of defiance. I lay still…frozen…unable to move of my own free will but no longer from the irons that hold my trembling body strong to the single posts above my head and beneath my feet, but from the anticipation and terror of what may be.

    She steps close to the metal table I lay on and bends over me. 😈 I know you better than you think. I will torture you but that is not your punishment…that is not punishment for you. *she half chuckles half purrs as she looks me over without distancing
    herself* I smell the combination of her sweet perfume and leather. *deep inhale…mmm…* I close my eyes and momentarily let go, taken by the aromas that bring back so many memories…wonderful memories–I’m brought back abruptly by a sharp pain and sudden coldness behind my earlobe.

    😈 Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. Don’t think I’m gonna let you miss out on my fun. *grin* My body stiffens, *please, no, please* I plead in my head but my lips do not move. I dare not speak unless asked. I know better. I still feel the sting from the last backhand across my face…I dare not utter a word…at least for now I know better. *smirk*

    She pulls the dagger slowly sliding it downward across my neck and follows a path along my collarbone. I can feel nips from it pulling occasionally on my skin as it glides along it’s sharpened edge. I close my eyes to increase sensation, absorb the pain. She alternates what she is doing, with the flat part of the blade the dagger travels between by breasts, underneath left and loops around the top heading straight for my erect nipple. My muscles tighten in response, my breathing speeds up and I can feel dampness on my cotton panties. Teasingly she only circles my nipple, then she presses the blade flat against it and pulls back until the tip flicks my nipple sending a shockwave through my torso.

    My toes curl and my thighs press tighter together. Without missing a beat she balances it out doing the same to the right one. I clench my eyes and gasp, my lips part slightly and my tongue pulls in my bottom lip.
    She zig-zags across my abdomen and stops… I open my eyes and stare at the cieling…at nothing. Waiting.
    Expecting. Wanting… *whare are you? Please don’t stop now. Please. please, don’t stop…* I can feel tears streaming out of the corners of my eyes and falling back into my hair. I begin to squirm trying to loosen my legs to cross them. I want more. I need more. I begin to whimper. Steel slaps across my thighs.
    😈 I did not grant you permission to move! Where, exactly, do you think you’re going?

    She continues, this time at my feet. *sigh, please, harder* Teasing my calfs she nudges my knees slightly apart, smoothly slides the blade up my inner thigh and traces the right side of my panties. 😈 Cute, Superman. With one swift flick of the wrist the dagger cut through the cotton which falls contracting to the left exposing the small butterfly tattoo. Above and across my belly button to finish off the remains of my now soaked panties.

    I feel the throbbing pressure begging for more! My heart pounds in my ears, my legs like vice grips, my body undulating in desperate desire… :kiss: PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE! RELEASE ME! JUST A LITTLE BIT,
    PLEASE! Begging like an addict for ‘just one hit’, ‘just one little puff’…my body twists in agony without being able to go anywhere or do anything.
    :kiss: *between sobs* please… She stands observant for a moment waiting…my body tightens…I’m
    trying to gain control…she runs the full blade across my pelvis swiftly…only once…a glowing smirk on her face, excitement in her narrowed focused eyes…
    😈 No.

    Bitch!

    Steve: How’s that for tres?

56. Astryd

    14 December, 2007, 5:35 pm

    Thank you, you’re a genius! Love you! Told you it was long! 😈 Gimme a break, I haven’t been here in a while! 😛 I’m making up for my absence!

57. Davezilla

    14 December, 2007, 6:05 pm

    I just threw up in my mouth a little. 🙁

58. Fleetwood

    14 December, 2007, 6:12 pm

    You sure know how to write a story which takes me to boner city.

    :wang: :wang: :wang:

59. Meagan

    14 December, 2007, 6:46 pm

    No, that’s what I’M getting you guys.

    You know you are, you naughty little girl! I’ve sharpened the blade just for you. 😈

60. Drusky

    15 December, 2007, 4:52 am

    Kinda like something out of J.R.R. Tolken: There and Back Again. A Horny Little Hobbits Journey To Boner City!

    I agree, Tho. Damn, girl! You got some talent!

61. TimM

    15 December, 2007, 4:58 am

    Caption:
    Years of research and developement of glow in the dark cats has taken a mental toll on Dr. Goldblatt, He’s gone meshuga.

62. StevieC

    18 December, 2007, 10:07 am

    It’s nice to see you putting your talents to good use. Beg all you want but there will be no release until the very end of the journey. 😈

Comments are closed