How to speak English

1. greyoutlook

   15 October, 2006, 12:14 am

   where did you find that

2. cbatdux

   15 October, 2006, 12:59 am

   wtf!?

3. liza

   15 October, 2006, 2:48 am

   FUCK!
   thats how i speak english mother fucker 8)

4. Spud

   15 October, 2006, 3:02 am

   I think I’d like to see something in a mother size thanks.

   :geek:

5. Da Popster

   15 October, 2006, 5:40 am

   Oooooooo, fuckie, fuckie ny sista only $20.00? Sounds familiar, where’d you say you got that book? 🙂

6. djemm

   15 October, 2006, 6:57 am

   Is that porn ? Can I have it pleeease ? Has anyone checked how many times fuck is on that page, apparently english is easy fuck!!!

7. Marcus

   15 October, 2006, 7:08 am

   Anime strikes again. Okay, I will come over to you house and do what you ask.

   This reminds me of english advertisements in Thailand. Here are a few examples.

   2 bedroom, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, dining room and living room. Woman included. Do I get to choose the woman?

   State Park sign: Littering. Lust think first.
   Do we really need to think about it?

   Finally a keyboard for those who like to ‘jump and peck’.

8. Cynical Villain

   15 October, 2006, 9:47 am

   I wonder of R. Lee Emry knows about this, he should get royalties for this.

9. Meagan

   15 October, 2006, 10:05 am

   Oh, what a glorious word “fuck” is. Say it with me now: FUCK! FUCK, FUCK FUCK!

10. Patrick

    15 October, 2006, 10:57 am

    Uhh, if your sister has those same blank blue eyes that exhibit no soul like all Japanese anime` does, no thank you. Well, okay, but don’t tell anyone, okay?

11. mesmereyes

    15 October, 2006, 5:40 pm

    😆

12. Tara

    15 October, 2006, 7:02 pm

    Thank you for the laugh! I really needed it today. Did you get this at Borders?

13. evilmister

    15 October, 2006, 9:54 pm

    i am fucking serious here, for fucking fuck’s sake, that’s always some funny fucking stuff.

14. Brad K.

    15 October, 2006, 11:25 pm

    I don’t know if the first cartoon books were sexually explicit cartoons or not. But the groady stuff would not have been more than 9 months behind.
    —

    Jill was devastated. Since her return from Asia, she was used to being the only one in seventh grade that read Japanese. School in North Central Oklahoma (Cherokee Strip High, which has nothing to do with taking clothes off — Who’d a thunk?) was boring, so Jill was in the habit of bringing the latest issue of a school-oriented anime magazine to school. Geography and Literature went ever so much more smoothly with the excitingly explicit word-pictures to embellish the caricatures of the story cast.

    But, oh, God. Today the Geography teacher was at a seminar (‘Detecting Pre-Teen and Teen Drug Use in the Girl’s Restroom’, wtf?), and the sub, Mr. Kruse, noticed that Jill was looking at something other than her text or notebook, and that she was .. smuggling peanuts, breathing a bit heavy, flushed .. just enjoying the story on page 2. Was that where the Weekly World News got the Page 2 Girl? Anyway, Mr. Kruse asked her, ‘Jill, would you care to read this page? For the class? Shall I call the principal in to enjoy a taste of Asian culture?’ Because of course, for the first time in the last 10 issues (almost three months since the last time), they actually printed ‘fuck’ in English. As if there weren’t 12 different Japanese words and phrases that mean the same ‘impersonal execution of the sex act between (sometimes) consenting (often) adult (usually) people, or just used as a derogatory word with distasteful sexual connotations’ meaning. And that *would* be when Mr. Kruse walked by — doesn’t that old guy ever sit down?!?

    What could Jill do? ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Kruse, but I shouldn’t have brought this to school, and shouldn’t read it aloud to my classmates.’ Mr. Kruse smiled, got a large envelope, had Jill slide the magazine into the envelope — then the sod sealed the envelope and *handed it back to Jill!* And went on with the lesson!!

    After class, a jittery Jill approached Mr. Kruse, and asked, ‘What happens now, sir?’ And Mr. Kruse told her to keep the envelopes at home. And don’t be late for next class! How weird! Instead of a trip to the office — suspension was automatic if a substitute teacher sent you — or losing the magazine, have a note sent to her parents .. just nothing. Now her friends were dying to see the magazine — but Jill could never bring herself to open the envelope in school again.

    At breakfast Jill’s father mentioned ‘Your bed is really squeaky lately’. ‘I have been studying so hard, I guess I am restless in my sleep!’ Jill replied, with a playful-daunting tilt to her face. Jill’s father and mother smiled at each other, ‘Your oatmeal is ready, dear.’

15. nickname4anne

    16 October, 2006, 1:41 am

    :undies: :boob: :thong: 8) 💡 :limp: :wang: ❗ :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

16. Flash Gordon

    16 October, 2006, 12:39 pm

    That is certainly not like the Dick and Jane books we were issued when
    I was struggling with first grade. See Spot F—! Oh, Oh -Oh! :wang: :wtf: 😈

17. Dawn

    16 October, 2006, 1:20 pm

    thats re-god damned-diculous

18. Meagan

    16 October, 2006, 4:49 pm

    [Comment ID #78423 will be quoted here]

    See Dick. See Dick fuck. See Dick fuck Jane real hard. Oh baby.

    :wtf:

19. Charlie

    16 October, 2006, 9:47 pm

    Ha! 😆

20. mikeme

    17 October, 2006, 4:25 pm

    :wtf: :wang: :wtf: :wang: :wtf: :wang: :wtf: :wang: :boob: :boob: :boob: :boob: :wtf:

21. Drusky

    17 October, 2006, 9:14 pm

    [Comment ID #78383 will be quoted here]
    [Comment ID #78439 will be quoted here]

    Meagan! Stop it! You’re burning out the pixels on my monitor! 😆

22. NuggetMaven

    18 October, 2006, 3:00 pm

    Perhaps this is Japan’s version of the Dick and Jane books?

    This is Dick.
    This is Jane.
    See Dick fuck Jane.
    Fuck, Dick, fuck!

    I’m sure the fine print, in that Japanese font it reads like an Andrew Dice Clay monologue:

    Jack and Jill
    Went up a hill
    Each with a buck and a quarter
    Jill came down with two-fifty!
    Oh, that fucking whore…

    Just speculatin’… 😛

23. NuggetMaven

    18 October, 2006, 3:01 pm

    PS: Anyone else aroused reading this? lol

Comments are closed