An Open Letter to Marriott Hotels

Dear Marriott,

I spend many nights in your hotels on various business trips. Generally, I have a good stay. Your staff is courteous and helpful, the rooms clean. But I do have a few suggestions.

  1. English Muffins should generally made from flour, not a high-quality latex rubber. You might want to look into that.
  2. Your “Orange Ginger” hand lotion should be renamed “Lemon Pledge” as its scent is a dead ringer for the wood polish
  3. Not wishing to repeat a breakfast of latex muffins, this morning I opted for hash brown potatoes. HINT: they need to be cooked before they can be served.
  4. (Also, one ugly garnish per plate is sufficient)