Would you buy a house from the Hitler Brothers?
From here.
Recent Effluvia:
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People Who Need to Go Far, Far Away
- People who hit their brakes inexplicably when nothing is in front of them and they aren’t speeding.
- People who use douchebag words like ‘braggadocious’ and ‘YOLO’ in everyday speech.
- The inventors of Powerpoint, Jeggings, Crocs and UGGs.
- The creators of ‘Call of the Wildman’, ‘Hillbilly Handfishing’ and other white trash train wrecks.
- Professionals who say, “Let’s really think out of the box on this one, guys.” As if their coworkers were intentionally coming up with tired ideas because no one reminded them to be innovative.
- Honey Boo Boo, although I rather feel bad for this kid. She’ll grow up realizing that she was the laughing stock of the entire world and no one really liked her at all.
- People who never wash their hands after using the loo.
What. The. Fuck. Is. That? Kill it. Kill it with fire! -
What I Learned from Movies XIV: Military Movies
- Holding up a fist will instantly stop an entire army dead in their tracks.
- Any time bullets are shot at you in slow motion, you can avoid them (in slow motion) by leaning way back until your spine is almost broken. Hover in this position for several seconds until the bullet-time effect has ended.
- Make a ‘V’ with your index and middle finger. Now point them at your eyes, then your fellow soldiers’ eyes. This alerts them to use vision instead of their sense of smell to navigate streets and tunnels.
- The enemy can’t smell lit cigars due to their inferior, foreign senses, so by all means, smoke up!
- After you’ve used up your clip, you can safely throw your weapon to the ground in favor of a handgun. The army doesn’t mind you throwing away M16s. They have thousands more laying about.
- Covering oneself in mud will drop the body temperature enough to fool aliens and thermographic registers, but won’t cause hypothermia.
Swiggety-Swag
I make things. People buy them.
Tarot of the Unexplained
USD $22.95
- The first tarot deck to include cryptids, the paranormal, portals, and Forteana.
- Silver, gilded-edge 30 gsm cards
- Includes a 96-page full-color book
Magical AI Grimoire
USD $22.95
- 288 page grimoire chronicling the magical community’s adoption of tech and AI
- Learn how to use AI for spells from multiple magical systems point of view
- Forward by Peter J. Carroll
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