Recent Effluvia:

So that was the inspiration for the OK Go dogs video

17 August, 2012
What I Learned from Movies XIV: Military Movies
- Holding up a fist will instantly stop an entire army dead in their tracks.
- Any time bullets are shot at you in slow motion, you can avoid them (in slow motion) by leaning way back until your spine is almost broken. Hover in this position for several seconds until the bullet-time effect has ended.
- Make a ‘V’ with your index and middle finger. Now point them at your eyes, then your fellow soldiers’ eyes. This alerts them to use vision instead of their sense of smell to navigate streets and tunnels.
- The enemy can’t smell lit cigars due to their inferior, foreign senses, so by all means, smoke up!
- After you’ve used up your clip, you can safely throw your weapon to the ground in favor of a handgun. The army doesn’t mind you throwing away M16s. They have thousands more laying about.
- Covering oneself in mud will drop the body temperature enough to fool aliens and thermographic registers, but won’t cause hypothermia.
22 June, 2012
Separated at Birth No. 10: Tanning Bed Woman

11 May, 2012
And a Diet Coke please…

28 April, 2012
#1 Threat to America: Flying Bears

27 April, 2012
ZuckerBorg

21 April, 2012
Upgrade KIt for iPhone 4 owners

20 April, 2012
I JUST BROWS

19 April, 2012
Mr. E.T.

18 April, 2012
Say Anything: 2012 Edition

17 April, 2012
Hello. Welcome to America.

22 February, 2012
What Men Say vs. What Women Hear

When we describe ourselves as being, “Super athletic.”
You hear, “Flexes in front of the mirror. Every. Damn. Day.”

When we describe ourselves as, “A big guy.”
You hear, “A big, fat guy.”

When we describe ourselves as being, “Quick-witted.”
You hear, “Lies quickly.”

When we describe ourselves as, “A traveler.”
You hear, “Cheats on the road.”

When we describe ourselves as, “A seasoned traveler.”
You hear, “Strippers across the country know him by name.”

When we describe ourselves as being, “In a band.”
You hear, “Cheats on the road, while high.”

When we describe ourselves as, “A burger and beer kind of guy.”
You hear, “Frequents Hooters.”

When we describe ourselves as, having “Refined tastes.”
You hear, “Disturbing fetishes.”

When we describe ourselves as, “A skirt chaser.”
You hear, “Upskirt camera perv.”

When we describe ourselves as, “A professional photographer.”
You hear, “About to ask if I’ve ever posed nude in T-minus 3… 2… 1.”

When we describe ourselves as, “A picky eater.”
You hear, “Gay.”

When we describe ourselves as being, “Powerful.”
You hear, “Jealous. Dangerously so.”

When we describe ourselves as being, “Relentless” or, “Tenacious.”
You hear, “Restraining order.”

When we describe ourselves as being, “Studious.”
You hear, “Digs nerdy chicks.”

When we describe ourselves as being, “A comic book nerd.”
You hear, “Prefers animé girls to real ones.”

When we describe ourselves as being, “Addicted to video games.”
You hear, “Prefers animated girls to real ones.”

When we describe ourselves as being, “Very religious.”
You hear, “Future cult leader.”

When we describe ourselves as, “Non-chalant.”
You hear, “Gay.”

When we describe ourselves as being, “A loner.”
You hear, “I stockpile weapons and live in a cabin.”

When we describe ourselves as enjoying, “Simple pleasures.”
You hear, “Chronic masturbator.”

28 January, 2012