The gynaecology has a facelift

1. kismet

   06 August, 2004, 12:36 am

   Is this what they mean?
   Labia Reduction Surgery

2. Stacy, the motor city bad kitty

   06 August, 2004, 12:48 am

   Photon soft skin?

   How can the— I’m not even gonna ask.

   Nevermind.

3. Stacy, the motor city bad kitty

   06 August, 2004, 12:56 am

   Hmm, Kismet reminded me of something I once wrote about. Things You Should Never Do To Your Genitals, Part II. True story. (Girls, don’t try this at home.)

4. kismet

   06 August, 2004, 1:30 am

   Funny stories Stacy.

   Although they didn’t shock me at all, my brother owns a tattoo and body piercing shop. I’ve seen it all.

   Except the whole cutting off the labia bit. That was a little disturbing.

5. Anna

   06 August, 2004, 3:04 am

   Can I have the facelift with facial features, an order of fries and a shake?

6. ReV.JeLLYBaBY

   06 August, 2004, 6:01 am

   When I first read this poster my face was divided by wrinkle somewhat as I pondered about the sort of person that would trust a place that can’t even write proper English to redesign their features and genitalia.

   Then I remembered Mr. Jackson and immediately my divided by wrinkle expression ceased and my hair stopped transplanting, with immediate effect.

   But it does lead me to a bigger question.

   Do we really understand the dangers of such surgery and do we really need it?

   The facelift WITH facial features sounds okay, but what if they didn’t tick the facial features box on the job sheet?

   Surely you would suffocate with no facial features? Or maybe you would just end up with an excellent poker face?
   What if your nose was put back on upside down?

   You would drown when it rained!

   Unless of course your photon cannon soft skin would blast all the offending raindrops. Hey I don’t know. I’m not a doctor okay. I’m just saying.

   A facelift to your gynecology?

   Sounds great doesn’t it?

   I for one would hate to take a sexy, beautiful lady home and find David Hasslehoff’s face with a surprised look staring back at me instead of her unmentionables! I know he’s a great guy and all, but it would have a serious effect on my labido for sure.

   But in addition to this.

   Can we only assume that the fat “sucked” to reduce weight is then used to “inject” and enlarge bosoms?

   Yuck, having fatty McShit lardy burger fat in your tits would freak me out and could you be sure that you wouldn’t smell like fries and Big Macs when you started sweating?
   Before you have any of these procedures, my advice is to consult your laser cosmetologist first to see if the appropriate stars are aligned and the rays from Venus are favorable.

   C’mon troops we’re better than this.

   WE ARE who WE ARE for a reason and EVERYONE has something more beautiful about them than anyone on the planet. So go out there, find out what yours is and USE IT!
   Then with a bit of luck this world might just get a little better for all of us.

   

7. mikeB

   06 August, 2004, 7:14 am

   “The hair transplanting” bothers me. For some reason it reminds me of Red Dragon where the killer is showing his victim a slide show and says, “Mrs. Jacobs transformed; the dragon rampant.”

   OK, I haven’t slept much lately.

8. Frisko

   06 August, 2004, 7:29 am

   Note to self: No cosmetic surgery ever, and especially not at that place, even if my nose was upsidedown from a tragic accident that involved a hot air balloon, and a tribe of midgets.

   It has got to be either piss funny to live in an “Engrish” speaking country, or scarey enough to try to get home fast. I bet they have a display of those nifty sonic ear cleaners for sale in the lobby.

   Then, that fellow that Kitty mentioned….I stopped reading his bio after I read the part about his numerous(say 5 or 6) failed wizzer pirceing attempts. He was happy to report that it only took 5 months to heal, once he was successful. Lucky him.

   Yes Dave, spewed coffee is dripping off the monitor.

   I pledge to go against society, and actually like myself.

   Frisko

9. Moxie

   06 August, 2004, 7:32 am

   If I combined choices #1 & #7, would they discount me for only adding eyes and a nose to my Hoo Hoo, as I’ve already got the lips?

10. mikeB

    06 August, 2004, 7:44 am

    No cosmetic surgery ever, and especially not at that place

    At first by “that place” I assumed you meant your cootchie, Frisko.

    [runs away]

11. Lynne

    06 August, 2004, 9:48 am

    Dave, this is the second day in a row you are causing me nightmares . . .

12. Esther

    06 August, 2004, 10:36 am

    They should just hand out chocolate chip cookies, instead.

13. Natalie

    06 August, 2004, 10:39 am

    No one is going to inject my bosom!

    No one is going to facelift my gynaecology, either. *shudder*

14. rust

    06 August, 2004, 10:42 am

    I’m definitely going to need their services. I want some genital suckage and perhaps even an anal augmentation. I also wonder if they do tattoo removal: I hate seeing Satan every time I take a pee…

15. ReV.JeLLYBaBY

    06 August, 2004, 10:44 am

    When they suck your fat out, the surgeon says encouraging things like.

    “Sucky , Sucky me love you long time.”

    That’s nice isn’t it?

16. wookiee

    06 August, 2004, 11:19 am

    I.. I want to be photon soft.

17. Esther

    06 August, 2004, 1:37 pm

    Y’all need help. 😉

18. Frisko

    06 August, 2004, 9:26 pm

    Don’t run MikeB, I would not have surgery at that clinic, or alter my “peach”.
    thanks for caring.

    Frisko

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