Buy headphones and close the windows at night. The girl next door is a bit of a screamer in bed. Sounded like two raccoons fighting […]
Tag: Note to Self
Stupid things I do on a regular basis, exposed for the world to laugh at.
Note to Self, No. 6,011
Before presenting to the Senior Vice-Presidents again, be sure to wipe all the toothpaste off your face first.
Note to Self, No. 6,005
I forgot what I was going to write. Damn. Now I’ll be up all night wondering if I’ll do it again. Whatever it is. Will […]
Note to Self, No. 6,002
The next time we wash dishes, we will not touch the ice cube tray.
Note to Self, No. 6,001
The next time you travel, you are not letting your black cat play inside the suitcase while you pack, ensuring your white shirt will be […]
Note to Self, No. 5,991
Never keep the same cellphone for five years. Trust me on this one.
Notes to Self, No. 5,890-5,895
The next time you press your shirt, make sure you iron both sides before wearing the shirt to work Yes, you really do have a […]
Note to Self, No. 5,811
The next time you go to the laundromat, ensure that the box of Arm & Hammer you are taking with you is detergent—not cat litter. […]
Note to Everyone
If I hear anyone singing, whistling, humming or even legitimately discussing, My Humps one more time, I am going postal. Just sayin’.
Note to Self
Trader Joe’s vegetarian burritos are combustible and may explode upon contact with fork.