Drive a bench. Look cool.

If I knew in high school that all I had to do to look cool was drive a bench…

More people we can safely dislike #22

Oh man. I have been subjected to appalling grammar this week. I want to put these folks under citizens arrest … for the murder of the English language! People who say “360°” when they meant “180°,” as in “His attitude went 360°.” That doesn’t mean he changed his attitude. That means it’s right back where […]

Zilla Survey

Strictly to serve you better. No salesman will call. [SURVEYS 1]

New takes on old phrases

Try using some of these in a business meeting, or with a customer this week. Shit or get off the Pope It’s not pocket science It is what it was A jack of all maids Like white on color Familiarity breeds mice Don’t rock the goat The show must grow lawns Caught with his pants […]

Tourism Rule No. 23: Blend In

Call me picky, but this isn’t how one blends in when wandering about Detroit.

Air Travel Probability

At the exact moment you choose to use the airplane lavatory, the fasten seat belt light will come on The size of the persons on either side of you are directly proportional to the amount of claustrophobia you exhibit The more sleep deprived you are, the more the person next to you will talk (loudly) […]

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